Boogie Attack!

Did you ever notice that fingers and nostrils grow at the same pace? No matter how young, a child can always fit a finger in a nostril.

However, it’s not as easy when it’s an adult finger trying to get a booger out of a toddler nose. All day long I’ve been plagued by a stubborn booger in Cordy’s right nostril. It’s just far enough in that I can’t get it, yet far enough out to taunt me anytime I look at her. It’s driving me mad. I can see it, anyone who looks at her can see it, yet I can’t get it out.

I’m a little obsessive about boogers when I can see them. I don’t want my child walking around looking like no one has the time to keep her nose clean. But in these situations, the boogers stay just out of reach. I can hear the little crusty yellow devils laughing at me.

Trying to teach Cordy to blow her nose has been a failure so far. She just doesn’t get it, and I don’t blame her. She has no idea why I want her to blow air out her nose.

So how do you get a stubborn booger out of a toddler nose?

There’s the ol’ snot sucker: the bulb syringe that every child leaves the hospital with. While it has proved very useful at sucking out wet snot, it’s not as good at dry snot. Not to mention that Cordelia isn’t as compliant as she used to be when it comes to having her nose vacuumed out.

There’s the adult fingernail. Problem is, I have none. As I have mentioned before, my nails are painfully short, and I haven’t made any progress at growing them. Somehow, snot picking is not a good enough motivator for me to grow my nails.

I’ve also tried corners of tissues, twisted into a thin cord to fish out the offending booger. No luck. The tissue doesn’t have the strength.

I think it’s time to invent a new booger catcher.

It needs to be at least soft plastic or rubber, so it doesn’t hurt tender nasal passages. While I’ve considered tweezers before, the hard metal is not something I want to use on a struggling toddler. And toothpicks are right out. Soft plastic would be best.

It should be small enough to fit into a toddler’s nose, but not so small as to go further than it should. I don’t want something that could double as a tool used by Egyptians in mummification or by doctors for sinus surgery.

Finally, it needs a curved hook on the end. Kind of like a cross between a crochet needle and a soup ladle. Only with gentle curves, again, to not hurt the soft tissue in the nose.

If I could make or buy something like that to scoop out defiant boogers, my life would be so much easier. I’d push to have it on the “must-have” baby item lists for new parents.

So, if anyone out there is a baby product marketer – I’ve got a great new product for you! I guarantee it’ll be a best-seller, and none of your competitors will have anything like it!

Gee, wouldn’t that be something to be known for? The inventor of the booger catcher. Eh, who am I kidding? I’d be proud to be known for it!

OK, who’s first in line to get one? Anyone?

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  1. Oh yeah, count me in. I’ll need some sleeping drugs to go with it though seeing as how Zoe almost permanately has her own finger up there! So i’ll need to drug her before removing said finger to insert new tool…..

  2. I’ve tried a q-tip, but her nostrils are still a little too small. And it tends to push the booger back even further, adding to my frustration.

    I doubt using a q-tip is dangerous, though. If they’re safe for our ears, they’re probably safe for the nose.

  3. Saline drops softens the boogs, and they either get sniffed up or come out on their own. Trust me, I had the chiropractor point it out to me when Troll Baby wiped his face on Mommy’s shoulder. Ick.

  4. I’ve actually used a q-tip. I’m sure it’s extremely dangerous – but it works.

  5. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who’s obsessed with keeping her kid’s nose clean! But what do you do when you’re child starts picking her own nose? Do you tell her “No, honey, don’t pick your nose. Let Mama do it!”

    Mama = Hypocrite

  6. I totally pick my kids’ noses all day. I think we should all form some sort of support group or something…

  7. in dire straits i’ve used the rounded end of a flattened plastic-covered paperclip. it’s tacky but it works.

  8. That reminds me of my favorite joke when i was a child:

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

    A: Because they have big fingers.

  9. My sister’s kid’s pediatrican said to take a Q-tip and dip it in peroxide. It will make the booger fizz and become all mushy and liquid-y and then it’s easy to get out with a rolled up tissue or something similar. Sorry to be so graphic but I’ve tried it and if you can keep your kid still, it works really well. Just don’t go too far up in their nose with the Q-tip.

  10. I use either my nails or a Q-tip. I tell my little one…”Mama’s gonna get your boogies!” He just laughs and then sits there while I dig for gold. Silly kids.

  11. hehehe I have so been there!

  12. I actually looked up “Booger Removal” on Google and came to this page. I have OCD when it comes to my 7month old’s boogers. I make my husband hold her down while I go to town on her nose. Getting them soft with saline or baby oil then grab them with a dry qtip is my trick. It works really well right after a bath, the steam loosens them up!
    -The Booger Picker

  13. I stumbled upon this blog while doing a google search on this subject. I’m so glad I’m not alone! LOL

  14. Anonymous says:

    I am absolutely OBSESSED with keeping my 2 1/2-year-old’s nose clean. She develops super-human strength during nose-cleaning time! She’s her fastest/strongest when I approach her with my pinky nail, Q-tip, or tissue corner. However, my kryptonite is a little bottle of saline drops. They work great!

  15. Anonymous says:

    oh my god you took the words out of my mouth. let me know if you find a tool like that

  16. Anonymous says:

    Ok so I found a place where the boogy picking mothers have united, and know that I am home! Lol my 2 1/2 yr old daughter has developed monstrous big dry boogers for like the past month, and its driving me nuts. Now of all times shes gone to bed early and she can’t breath and the only way in is with my finger, but I don’t want to wake her up, but knowing its there is killing me! Aaahhhhh! Anyway. If you have a struggle trying to keep the little one still, I usually lay her on her back in between my legs (head towards me) and put my legs over her arms. She doesn’t like it, but I can get the job done with only the struggle of screaming.

  17. I am glad to find this group knowing i am not alone in this. I am googling about booger in the middle of the night after no luck using qtips. The boogers are on both sides and have been there for a few days now. Will try saline drop.

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