Only Child vs. Siblings

Carrcakes inspired my post today. She has a beautiful post about her relationship with her siblings, and how it has changed and stayed the same over the years. Go check it out. I’ll wait. Ready? OK.

I am an only child.

Raised by a divorced mom who worked full time, I spent many days of my youth alone. I had a babysitter when I was very young, but I soon fought for the right to become a latchkey kid, and my mom granted the privilege when I was in third grade. By middle school I was staying home by myself even when she worked 3-11pm shifts.

Some people say only children are misfits. They are selfish and spoiled, and often are loners lacking in social skills yet terribly lonely. I think this is a gross oversimplification of only children, and I’m sure many grew up with none of those issues. From my experience, only some of the stereotypes are true. I was certainly not spoiled, because my mom didn’t have a lot with which to spoil me. I did lack in social skills, but only amongst my peers. I was quite capable of carrying on a conversation with adults, but found my peers to be immature and boring. I was lonely at times, but I also found comfort in being alone, and enjoyed the peace of the silence in our house many nights as I sat on the couch and read a book.

Still, I could never shake the desire of wanting a sibling. My childhood best friend had two older siblings, and they fought like caged wild animals at times. But at least she had someone to fight with. Me, well, I could try picking a fight with the cat I guess. I dreamed I would get help with my homework from an older sibling, or I would teach a younger sibling to play my favorite games. I imagined it would be lovely to have someone around to talk to who didn’t have to go home for dinner.

And now I find myself thinking about my daughter. She is currently an only child, and Aaron and I have been discussing when to plan the next child. Part of me is scared about the thought of raising two children. I have no experience dealing with siblings – how will I handle their fights? Will Cordelia resent another child coming along and taking some of the attention away from her? Will we not be able to provide as much for Cordy with another child?

As an only child, my mom was able to devote her limited resources to just me. Had I had a brother or sister, I might not have been able to go to college as easily, or been given the help my mom has provided with Cordy. Am I limiting her by having another child?

The other part of me yearns for another baby. I love being a mother, and I know there is plenty of room in my heart for another child. I remember the lonely times of being an only child, the awkwardness around my peers, and I don’t want Cordy to experience those dark moments of an only child experience.

I also think that Cordy could benefit from a sibling. Look at how many people out there have siblings they are close with. Aaron and his brother get along very well, although he tells me that they didn’t get along nearly as well when they were younger. There are lots of useful learning experiences a sibling could help provide: sharing, resource management, taking turns, helping, parental manipulation, etc.

The plan to have another child is likely to move forward. We both want another baby. The grandparents want more grandkids. Everyone is in agreement. I only hope Cordelia will love any younger sibling that comes along, and that she won’t one day wish that she had been an only child.

What about you? Were you an only child or did you have siblings? Do you wish things had turned out differently for you? (more siblings, less siblings, none?)

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Comments

  1. I have a sister 10 years younger and a brother 15 years younger. I only wish that my parents had them closer to me, so I would have had someone to grow up with.

    I am very close to my sis now, but not my brother. Sheesh, in this day and age he could have been MY SON!

    Oh I love having two. They play nice…most of the time. It was so cute, the other day I asked Benny who his best friend was, and he said his sister…awww. It was the cutest thing I ever heard!

  2. I have a sister who is 4 years younger than me. We have always been extremely close. As a matter of fact we had the type of relationship that made adults envious and, therefore, lavish praise on my mother for raising two kids who didn’t want to kill each other. So why is it that I only want one child?

    Thank you for the point of view from an only child… I am going to remember what you’ve said when the time comes to possibly start thinking of having another baby.

  3. Here here to your comments defending us “only children” our there! My parents wantes another but it never happened and I feel I had a wonderful life growing up. Sure, I do miss not having a sibling to lean on during “family crap” when it brews but hey…could be worse right!

    I nbow have two girls of my own…ages 3.5 and 17 months and it is so much fun to see them interact as they grow. Some days it ain’t all roses , but I still love to see them in action! it all pays off when I see them holding hands and giggling to each other in a bit of a secretive sisterly moment!

  4. So weird that you should post this today. I have been going through the same struggle. I even wrote about it on my blog. I have one child and am torn about having another. Becoming a mom has been a difficult transition for me, so unlike you, I wasn’t sure I wanted another terrible toddler running around. Plus, my hubby wasn’t a big help with the first one and probably won’t get much better with the second. Still, part of me wants J to have a sibling like you want for Cordelia. I agree that not all only children grow up to be spoiled and selfish, but I want J to have a bond with someone that only a brother or sister can produce. I am one of four; 2 brothers and a twin sister. My sister is my best friend in the whole world. I want J to have the same thing. I know how you feel. It’s a hard decision. After all the talking and thinking, I finally decided that I am ready to take on the challenge. I hope you are too!! (when you’re ready, of course!)

  5. Thank you so much for posting this. Right now my son is an only and its not clear if we’ll ever be able to give him a sibling. I have been so stressed about it. And although being an only is sometimes loney for him – he is still a very social and happy child.

  6. Lot’s of people have more than one child for their own reason. My reason, as an only child with a husband who is an only child, was to give my first born a sibling. I was a very sick puppy while preggo and I ddin’t necessarily *feel* the need to be a mother to another child, I did it so that my son wouldn’t be alone as a child (I hated being alone, unlike you who probably still enjoys it) and I hate to be alone now and so does my husband. When one of us can’t sleep, we often both go to walmart (not since we had kids obviously) at 4 AM. The one who can’t sleep doesn’t go alone, we both go.

    I went on a tangent, sorry. Either way, my mom’s family is much older than me and my dad’s family very spread out. If we didn’t have a second child then our first born stood not only to grow up alone but to be alone in his adulthood as his already aging (I’m 38) parents aged and maybe not so gracefully. I honestly felt like we owe’d it to him to make sure he had someone to help carry the load when we are too old to take care of ourselves. That’s a punk reason to have a kid and it isn’t the only reason we did, but it was part of it.

    Now, I love both boys equally and I thought that was a nutty thing for people to say. I don’t always like them equally because they are at different stages in their lives, but I love their little guts out. And, I couldn’t be happier that we had a second child.

    Since pg was so horrible for me, I had a hyster when the second one was 10 weeks old. I had numerous other health problems that warranted the surgery as well. If we ever get the chance, we will adopt a young girl, not a newborn necessarily but whatever the situation we can find ourselves in, we will access adoption at that time.

    AGain, no one can tell you if or why you should have more than one. That’s a very personal decision, but I can tell you that I am soooooooooo glad I did.

  7. My story is rather complicated but for all intents and purposes, I was an only child and I did long for a sibling close to my age so very much. Like you , I was a latchkey kid in about 3rd or 4th grade until Cathy, the cool burnout babysitter, came at 6pm.

    The aforementioned played a big part in my decision to have another baby. No, it’s not always easy and yes, kids are expensive but in the words of so many other moms of multiple children, you always manage somehow.

    I’m not trying to sway you or anything but when I watch my 10 month old follow my 5 yr old around or see them playing together or her doting on him like he was her own baby, it’s so precious, and I know I made the right choice. Because of her brother, my daughter will never be alone in the world like I am (my parents are both dead) and when we are old, should we need help or have to mave someone oversee our affairs, she will have someone to hopefully share the load with her.

    Hope that helps :-)

  8. I am the oldest of 2 – my bro is 5 years younger. We had a sis in between that died (before my bro came along). And I wish I had a sister. The age diff is hard for me and my brother – I was away at college etc…

    The main reason I’d have another is so my daughter could have a sibling. That sounds weird, but hell if I want to do all that baby stuff again… :)

  9. I knew I always wanted to have more than one child, because I enjoyed my own siblings so much, I wanted to give that joy to my kids. Obviously, not everyone loves their siblings, and I have had various degrees of closeness with both of mine (sister 2.5 yrs older, brother 5 years younger) over the years. I can’t imagine life without them.
    Handling two kids is difficult–mine are very close together, which made it tougher in the beginning–but it is Oh so worth it. They entertain each other like crazy. They play together, and yes, they fight, but they love each other madly.
    I think it’s natural to worry about this, but try not too!

  10. I am the youngest of 3, but there was a huge age gap, so I pretty much grew up as an only child since my brother and sister were married/moved away by the time I was 8.
    I remember being lonely. Yes, I loved to read and spent a lot of time doing it, but I always wanted someone to play with. I always said I would never stop at one child so that mine wouldn’t be lonely.
    However, I know that I got a lot of the luxuries in life that would not have been possible if I had another sibling close in age.
    If you and Aaron want another child, go for it. Cordy might be resentful from time to time, but she will ultimately love a sibling so much.

  11. I’m an only child too – I always wanted a brother or sister (or, even better – both!) I used to love visiting my cousins during the summer as there were 6 of them! Oh the joy! The bustle! I was quite lonely, but never spoiled and still very happy, but I still felt very envious of friends who had siblings. Now I have 2 little girls (3 & almost 2!) and would have a load more if possible! (Did you hear Hubby passing out there?!) I love them both beyond words and to see them interacting (mostly hugs and play, but also little squabbles too) is amazing. I was also painfully shy when little, but so far, I’m glad to see that neither of my 2 are showing any signs of this – and seem to make friends easily (something, I’m not very good at either!) Don’t worry about coping with 2, it’s just a variation of one! Good luck with your decision!

  12. I have 4 brothers and sisters – 2 of which were much older, two that I am older than, and I dont wish things had been any different in the slightest. I guess there are pros and cons for both situations. I think siblings help teach you things about the world that friends and parents just can’t, and the bonds are just amazing. But when it’s just one then there is no competing for mum and dad’s attention either. Zoe has been asking lately about a brother or sister, but I think thats more to do with her friends having them than any real internal desire for one!

  13. I have a sister who is 4 years older. I am sooooooo grateful for her – it was so much easier growing up with her around, not just for the reasons you mentioned but she was my support in my teenage years when I fought constantly with my parents. I always wanted more siblings and I want to have 4-5 kids ideally (um, my hubz isn’t so down for that plan so now we’re planning on 3).

  14. I, too, grew up an only child of divorced parents. I did spend a lot of time alone and still, today, I miss some alone time having two little ones does not afford. I had always wished for an older brother to take care of me. I always thought that would be a great relationship.

    I decided to have more than one child because I feel like kids need help dealing with their parents. I think it takes some pressure off as they get older. I wish I had a sibling now. Also, I had my kids close together to have a built in playmate. Sure, there are the fights, etc. but I think of them as learning experiences (for all of us). I’m happy w/our decision to have more than one, even though things are much more complicated.

  15. We all, at some point, wish we were only children and we all, at some point, wish we had MORE siblings. Such is life.

    I have a younger brother. He lives with us now. I wouldn’t give him up for anything, even if I did drive him nuts as a kid.

  16. I used to say, when I was growing up, that I wished that I had been an only child, but I really didn’t mean it. Or, maybe I meant it sometimes, but most of the time – and certainly now – I was/am grateful to have my sister. And I say that having gone through some *rough* times with her (we once went nearly a year without speaking after a fight. Oh, how we have fought!) I love having a sister. I want to WonderBaby to have siblings. I just have to screw up the courage to go through the whole epic ordeal that was pregnancy and childbirth again.

  17. I always wanted an older brother when I was little, but as I grew up, I learned to be happy with where I was. I realized how lucky I was being the younger child. My sister didn’t get the oppurtunities I got, but that has more to do with the immigrating thing. She also had to sacrifice free time over the years to either help me with homework or stay home and watch me instead of going out. But then again, that could be the culture thing too, my family was a bit strict with things.

    Anyhow, here’s the two cents I wanna put in… most people believe that they shouldn’t wait too long to have a second kid. Well, my sister and I are 7 years apart, that’s a good chunk of time in between. I think we’re actually closer than most people I know with siblings. In fact, my sister and I have a stronger bond with each other than we do with our parents. I don’t think the age dictates everything, contrary to popular belief.

  18. I have NEVER met an only child who did not ask for siblings growing up.

    I myself am the youngest of 4, and am so glad that I grew up with siblings. We can all see the difference between us, having grown up as siblings, and our parents, who are both only children. It WAS difficult for them to know how to handle our fights since they had never had siblings to fight with. But it all worked out, and you bet we learned a lot from each other.

    Even though I am frightened of Sweet Pea not liking the baby at first because my attention will be split between them, I feel confident that in the long run having two kids will be the best thing I could have done. As soon as the baby can interact and then move around, they are going to start having so much fun together, and we plan for them to share a room, which I know from experience makes siblings remain close for life (one of my sisters and I shared a room until I was 12 and she was 14).

    Personally I think having more than one is the way to go, if you can swing it. I think it is best for the child you already have, and I’ve also been told that it helps the parents a LOT once the younger one can start playing with the older one. You are no longer the older one’s only source of play. Plus, it gives them child-to-child skills, rather than just child-to-adult skills. I mean, sure, play group helps with that, but having another kid LIVING in your home every single day will make it a real, ingrained skill for both of them.

  19. I was an only kid. On rare occasions I was lonely, however I had a vivid imagination (still do). I made friends easily when young but always liked my time alone (still do). I have my Dad all to myself and never have to share with siblings. Now that I am a mother, one kid was cool with me….until she started growing up…Now that desire to have another is strong…We shall see!

  20. I am the oldest of 8, and though there were times I wished (as a teen) for a more ‘normal’ family, now I can’t imagine my life without any one of them. We are a close family who has just grown to appreciate each other more over the years…

    Mary, mom to many

  21. I am struggling right now with the same decision. I worry about how my son and possible future sibling will get along. I worry if I will be able to raise two as well as I could just one. I am still struggling with what to do.

  22. I found your post when I was doing a search to find out some information on one child vs. two. I was planning on writing an essay for a college class that I have. I grew up with two younger siblings and wouldn’t have had it any other way. Sure we fought but we had good times when we were younger. I miss those days sometimes…but I wanted the same for my son. He’s 18 months old now and I just had my daughter. I know it’s a handful now but I know that at least he’ll have a friend when she gets a little older. Already he hugs and kisses her. For me it wasn’t a question of if. I knew I wanted another baby and I decided to have them close together because of how I grew up with my sister two years younger than I and my brother four years younger. And I used to babysit two boys who were a year apart and they played together so great. I wanted that for him. Not to mention that there aren’t really many kids around where we live. I don’t worry about the future, as far as college or what I’ll be able to provide. There are so many resources nowadays and I’m planning as well to help in those areas. You do what you can. And your life adjusts. Two kids is harder yes, but soon you wonder how you ever lived without them.

  23. I know it has been almost a year since the orig. post. I must say that this has helped me so much with my daily battle to make the decision to have another little one! And after reading all of the thoughtfull stories I have made the decision to have another child for my little Callie.
    I agree with most in saying I didn’t get along with my sister whom is nearly 5 years younger, and to be honest still don’t! But we always have one another’s back and it’s compforting to know when times get rough we are there for eachother. I am one of the first she calls when in a crunch! And I love knowing I am alwasys there for her as she is me.

  24. I was not an only child but my best friend was and now she has 3 boys. They drive her nuts but I’m sure she wouldn’t have it any other way.

    On the other hand, I have three sibs and only one child of my own. However, I REALLY want my son to have a sib because I loved having sibs eventhough they are so much older than I am. Still, they are so cool and always there for me. I love those knuckleheads to death.

    I am currently pregnant. This is my second attempt (I miscarried late last year). I just hope and pray that my children will get along for the most part and always have each other’s backs. Plus, I need more than one child to take care of me and dad when we get old. Ha! Ha! :)

  25. Anonymous says:

    Am a single child too and there are times I felt so desperate to have a sibling so that when I get back home from School, I don’t miss a playmate. My parents used to get me books, toys and things to keep my busy, but nothing like having a sister or brother to share your thoughts and secrets.

    Am above 35 now, I feel what is most important is that since they grow up with you right from young age, they know your character, know your strengths, weaknesses and likes/dislikes etc. Even if you get the best of husband or lover or kiddos later, they only judge you based on how they have seen you since your relationship with them began(by then many of your qualities might have changed a bit), it is only your sisters or brothers who can remind or tell the rest of the world about your qualities and appreciate your character.

    I loved this poem, want to share with all of you.

    Brothers and Sisters

    To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. (Clara Ortega)

  26. jcoenen says:

    I was an only growing up and never felt the need for a sister or brother. I LOVED having my own space, my own stuff and my friends always wanted to come to my home as there weren’t siblings to bother us. I now have a son and don’t plan to have any more. I think that the positive outcomes of only children are often over-looked and the pressures to have numerous children are unfair. Families come in all different sizes and no-one can or should make the decision of how large your family should be for you. I loved being able to travel, having a close relationship with my family and never really wanting for much. It was wonderful to do so much more than my friends with brothers and sisters and I wouldn’t wish for my childhood to be any different. I was and am extroverted, was never shy and never had self-esteem issues. Do what’s right for you and don’t give into pressure to grow your family if you feel complete where you are. Yes, many only children ask for sibling and many people with sibling wish they didn’t have them (like my husband). The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side!

  27. Thank you to “jcoenen”. I have one child and have been debating about having a second. I grew up with a sister, whom I did not necessarily like so much growing up, but now am really close to. That being said, I have no interest in being pregnant again, or having another newborn baby in the house. My son is 18 months old and is your typical boy: a handful! My only thought is that I don’t want to deprive him of a sibling if it’s really beneficial, but this is the only reason why I would contemplate a second. This is why I feel this is not a good enough reason. Thanks to “jcoenen”, I feel a little more confident in my decision to have only one. I feel I will be able to provide more to him (via travelling, attention, etc); plus, he has 3 cousins close in age that live mere minutes away, so there is definitely family around.

  28. Wife and I are debating. Our son is 9 months old, but we’re discussing a 2nd. We’re 29 yrs old, her brother is four yrs younger, and my brother is 2 yrs younger.

    We never planned to have any children because we were “childfree”. But now that our son is here, he means so much to us, and we’re so glad we gave birth to him. People everywhere say how good at parenting we are, and we should have more. We’re like “NO”! But they keep mentioning how we never wanted kids and now we’re enjoying him.

    Hence our recent discussions. Maybe because I’m from a divorced family, I don’t have as many feel-good sibling stories. I love my brother, but I think growing up I felt like a father/big brother figure to him, and I feel that I’ve failed him as he is nowhere near as successful as me.

    My wife and her brother haven’t really spoken to each other much since we got married 8 years ago, and I don’t think there’s any feelings of regret yet, but then again we’re so busy all the time.

    Sometimes I wish I was an only child because I was the good kid, and my brother was the bad kid who still causes hardship/grief for my mom. Discussing a 2nd child is helping me to sort out mental/emotional baggage I’ve been carrying all my life. I blame myself constantly for not being there more for my brother, but I am only now realizing that the divorce and lack of a dad in his life led him to where he is at now. I was a quiet child who loved reading and being alone, and he was always making friends and going out to play. Kind of the wild one.

    Anyway, joecyn’s comment helped me to analyze any reasons to have a 2nd child besides just providing a playmate to our son.

  29. I am trying to figure out if we are done at 1 child, or if we should have another. It took 10 yrs of infertility to get my baby boy (14mos), and now hubby wants another. We always assumed we’d have more than 1 but we didn’t realize we’d be in our thirties by the time we got the first one.

    I feel SO overwhelmed some days that I just can’t imagine having 2, and on those days, I call my sis to vent. Then I realize what I would be missing if I didn’t have her in my life. I am the youngest of 3, my sis is 2 yrs older, my bro 8 yrs. My brother and I don’t really know each other all that well, and it took adulthood and maturity for my sis and I to learn to love our differences.

    I am doing most of this parenting thing by myself, we don’t have family nearby to help, hubby works 80hrs /wk, and travels 2wks out of the month. It’s usually all up to me. Thus, the overwhelming bit.

    I am thinking (today anyway) that we will be having another, not right away, but fairly soon. Good luck to all of you who are on the fence as well!!

  30. This is exactly what i needed to hear! I am the oldest of NINE. there were so many times in my life i wanted to be an only child so bad. Now i have a beautiful daughter. And i always thought i wanted 2 until I had her. I am so in love with my baby girl i am not sure i want to share her. but at the same time i know how important family is and i do want her to have everything that is important in life. Deep down i do want more. I love being a mother. but i want to do what is best for her. Just by reading all the comments made me realize that because of my love for her this is somthing she deserves.

  31. Just a girl says:

    My husband has a sister whom he wishes had been born to another family. She’s sapped his parents out of their retirement by having 4 children that she cannot afford. I have a sister who I love but who is really irresponsible. She’s also a burden to my parents. Had we both been only children, I definately think we both had been better off, so would our parents. But, we still love them unconditionally. I have an only child and am also thinking about having another, all logic points to this one needs all the resources possible in this difficult to survive in world. But, my mother instincts also make me want to have one more. We will probably stick with one. Best wishes on your choice what ever that may be.

  32. Well, I guess you could kinda say I’m an only. I have a half sister who is 20 years older from my dad and I am my mother’s only child because she was physically unable to have any (she was 40 by the time I came along)and after me, there were no more and will never be. Geez, my sis even had her first child before my mom did.

    Since my sister was long gone from the nest with her own family to worry about when I was born, I lived as an only child for a little while; even thought I was until I heard about my older sis! I admit there were the ups and downs of being by myself. I often wondered what it would be like to have some company when ma and pa were at work.

    Now why do I say that I lived as an only for a little while? Well, my friend had it hard at home, and by the time we were in our preteens, she came to live with us!

    I was like “Halajua! by best friend and now sister too!” Just because she was my friend though, it didn’t mean everything worked out perfectly! We were great friends, but we had seen so little of each other that it was like getting to know a new sibling. Oh yes, there were the occasional fights and wrestling matches, but I must say that after the experience of having a sibling-like figure there with me, I would definitely give my firstborn a brother(s) or sister(s). The bond between siblings is just something you would never want to be stuck without : )

  33. Anonymous says:

    thanks jcoenen. Im 38 with a son and live on different continent to my family through my own choice. My son will have a normal up bringing with as much love, affection and attention that he can handle. A sibling will not provide these basics, or the means to travel the world and be who he wants to be. bottom line, be the best parent you can be for your child, encourage strong friendships and build their confidence. there is no guarangee siblings will like each other or get along no matter what the age gap is or how many you have.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I think you should wait later on and then ask her if she wants a sibling. Let me tell you a little about myself..I grew up with a sister whos only 1 year younger than me and most people would assume we should have a close sister bond but thats not true at all! Since our early child years and till this day Im 32 and shes 31 we still dont get along. I guess not all siblings are loving to one another. Sibling rivalry happens to alot of families believe it or not!!

  35. Grown only child says:

    I am a male only child. I always wished for a brother (not so much a sister) but that never came to pass. I had and have an idealized concept of how a sibling should be – a close friend throughout life, despite some disagreements, someone to lean on, etc. But what I see is in others is often much different. My father has one sibling, a younger sister by four years. They were never close, and now that their parents are long gone, they never even see each other or do anything more than sending Xmas cards. My mother has nine siblings, some of whom are close, some make no effort at having sibling relationships, and some are holding lifelong grudges and not speaking to each other. Some did a huge amount of work to care for aging parents, some never lifted a finger to help. So who’s to say how it would’ve turned out for me or anyone else in the world of “might have been”?

  36. I have a differnt situation. I have 3 sisters and love having them more now than when we were younger but even then when our folks took us on quiet holidays and we were the only children.

    But my first pregnancy was twins so I already have two not decison needed. but I feel cheated only one pregnancy only one time with baby clothes and things. But then do I need the pressure of three children??? so hard to find real evidence to make decions on.

  37. Thank you all for your insights. I’ll read one and feel convinced to have another, but then I read another comment and feel fine about just having the one son I have now.

    I’m still on the fence and the only reason I would want another child is to give my son a sibling. I have no strong desire to do the pregnancy/baby thing all over again and my husband agrees. Is that one reason enough? There would be no problem having another baby, but I’m selfish with my needs and I love devoting all of my attention to my son.

  38. My father was 58 when I was born, and my mother was 42. Although I have a half-brother, he s 22 years older than me. For a variety of reasons we are not close or truly like brother and sister, although a certain amount of sibling rivalry has always existed between us. My mom had him at 19 and me at 42. Since a person changes so much between 19 and 42, we really didn’t have the same mother in our youth.
    My mom was the oldest of nine and always said that if the choices were lots of kids or no kids, she’d choose no kids. Dad was the oldest of six. My mom always claimed that having kids kept one young. My Dad died after a 10 year decline when I was 28, mom when I was 32.
    Although I loved my parents a great deal, I would never have kids at such an old age, especially if leaving him/her an only child. One misses out on a lot and the emptiness when they’re gone cannot be filled by relationship with extended family.

  39. Anonymous says:

    I was fortunate to experience both. after my parents were divorced my 17 year old brother(me 15) lived with my dad, and I lived with my mom. Its not like we never see each other, but when we do it’s only for like a weekend. It has changed my views on siblings completely, I wish my brother and I were close but throughout the divorce having two different views on it we had some conflict.

    we are starting to get along now that the divorce was finalized but conflicts between parents and children will always happen. BUT, the benefit now is the fact that i have experienced both, and i have to say being an only child can really suck…

    on days when my mom has to work late I’m home alone doing home work and things like that but its the fact that i cant have someone to talk to like i used to. me and my brother could talk all the time just for fun. we would bother each other just for the enjoyment, and we wouldn’t mind getting in trouble cause we would just blame each other.

    Overall i would have to say when i have kids i will make sure to have more than one kid.

  40. Anonymous says:

    I am an only child. I now realise that it is exceedingly special to be an only child. I enjoy a lifestyle which my parents would not have been able to provide for me had I a sibling and as I have no siblings to compete with for parental resources, I grew up rather privileged. I have a high self-esteem, because I never had insecurities as a child (no sibling rivalry). I matured faster and for company I had cousins. Leaving your child as an only is one of the best things that you can do for them. It just puts them so much ahead in life. I am an only child and will have an only child someday.

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