She’s Just Big Boned

Conversation held with another mom this weekend at a play area:

Other Mom: How old is your little girl?

Me: 21 months.

OM: Oh, our kids are the same age!

Me: (looking at her little boy) Oh! Cool.

OM: She’s just so big for her age!

Me: Uh, yeah, she is. She’s a big, healthy girl.

OM: She’s got at least a couple of inches over my son!

Me: Yep, I guess she does. We’re hoping for a basketball player.

OM: How much does she weigh?

Me: Close to 30 pounds. She’s slowed down in the past few months.

OM: WOW! My little guy is only about 24 pounds!

(silence for awhile as the kids play)

OM: When I first saw your daughter, I thought she must be two or three, but then I noticed she didn’t act like a two year old.

Me: Oh really? Yeah, well, she’s often mistaken for being older than she is.

OM: My son is right around the 50th percentile. He’s pretty much average.

Me: Huh. Well, nothing wrong with average.

(a little more silence)

OM: My daughter was like yours when she was little. She was at the top of the charts until about 9 months, and then she leveled off.

Me: Oh, OK. Cordy has been at the top of the charts so far, with no signs of slowing down.

OM: She really is big!

(OM’s husband comes in)

OM: (to husband) That little girl is the same age as our son, but look how much bigger she is!

OMH: Wow, she is big! Has she always been so big?

Me: Well, she was over 8 pounds at birth…

OM: (laughing) Our kids were both over 9 pounds when they were born!

Me: Yeah, well, clearly the steroids and bovine growth hormone are doing the job, then.

[end scene]

So there you have it. I have the largest 21 month old in Columbus. She’s big enough to make people stop and stare, and to make them keep reminding me just how large she is.

I was a little baffled by the conversation, unsure whether to be flattered or insulted. Was she trying to tell me my daughter was freakishly large next to her compact little boy?

I’ve often found myself chatting with other moms and doing the size comparison dance with them. We laugh about how different kids are, usually. This conversation just felt different, because this mom seemed to be so amazed that a child of that age could be so large. I started to wonder if I should call the circus and see if I could make any money off of my offspring.

Yes, Cordy is my Amazon warrior princess. She’s 35 inches tall, weighs close to 30 pounds, and has a cranium so large that she can already wear adult sized hats. She is already growing out of her 2T clothing and starting into 3T. (which is expensive, might I add) Her doctors place her at the tip-top of the charts. But she has the coordination of a 21 month old, meaning she crashes into everything. Head injuries are usually a daily occurrence. Thankfully, most of the time she barely notices.

Do I think she’s going to set records? No, of course not. She will eventually even out with her peers, whenever her body decides it’s time to slow down.

Do I wish she was just average? Sometimes. It would certainly put less strain on my back to carry a smaller toddler, less strain on my credit cards to buy clothing less often, and less strain on my nerves to fend off comments about her size. But she was my giant baby, and now she’s my Amazon toddler, and I love her just the way she is, even if she isn’t a dainty flower.

At least I know that if other kids ever try to bother her, she can hold her own in a fight.

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  1. People are very weird. Cordy is a great size. I get comments about my son Aidan as well. He is in the 75% for weight and only 25% for height. Try that for a combination. :) Anyway, my advice is just ignore the weirdos who have no idea how stupid they sound.

  2. That is right, nothing wrong with her!
    My youngest son also topped the charts for quite awhile. It wasn’t until he turned 4 that he started getting into the
    75th percentile. He was OFF the charts the first 2-3 years of life.

    She is perfect the way she is. When she is a super model walking the runway maybe the short kid’s mom will remember her fondly………

  3. My son is in the 90th percentile… he is 4 months and HUGE.. the comments are so horrible. GIMME A BREAK! I always just want to scream EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT YOU IDIOT!
    This is my first time to your blog, I LOVE it.. Cordy is gorgeous! I adore her hair!!!!

  4. I think the comments should be taken as a compliment. She is adorable the way she is, Amazon (or not) and all.

  5. Mommy off the Record says:

    What is it about the size comparisons?! People are totally obsessed with it. My son is also big for his age. Just take it as a compliment. I do!

  6. I love when the little ones are big. I think, how cute and how healthy. Be proud! She’s beautiful.

    Maybe that mom was trying to talk herself into thinking her “little” guy wasn’t going to his butt kicked by your little one.

  7. She’s just beautiful – just beautiful. And not quiteas large as Bub was at that age. Hang on to those size 2-T outfits, though, because children start shrinking after they turn 2; they get all long and lean and you miss, miss, miss that big roly-poly baby.

  8. Cordy is just fine! She is gorgeous!
    This whole size talk can make you nuts if you let it. My 18 month twins couldn’t be anymore different. She is at the tree top of her chart..(33 inches 29 lbs) .and he is scraping the bottom of his (30 inches 22 lbs). We are starting to get questions about how far apart they are. When I tell people ” umm.,, a minute.” They tell me that I must be wrong. Nope. I was there. I had some pretty fabulous drugs at the time.. but I was there.

  9. Look. People are just idiots and you just have to treat them as such.

    Q is tiny in weight – not even 25lbs I think. However, she’s fairly tall – maybe 34 inches or so. However, we get all the “oh she looks so fragile and breakable” comments CONSTANTLY.

    It’s so annoying – and I’ve taken a new stance in a) ignoring them or b) saying something sarcastic and snippy back.

    Because people are idiots.

  10. I love your retort about average. I’m surprised the conversation didn’t end right there.

  11. Missi – Heh, with my genetics she’ll probably never be a supermodel. I somehow think she’ll be blessed with my hips and solid structure. :)

    Gwen – Your little guy sounds adorable. I think the smaller ones are so cute.

    Mommy off the record – Yeah, I generally take it as a compliment, since I know it means she looks like she’s being fed.

    Lindsay – Thanks for stopping by! I agree with you, and wish people would realize all kids are different.

    immomsdaughter – Thanks, I totally agree!

    Nicole – LOL, that could be! Cordy was sizing up the little boy to determine if she could take him out or not.

    bubandpie – They shrink?!?! Oh yeah, I’m hanging onto those clothes.

    Motherhooduncensored – I agree, hence the last comment I made to the woman about steroids and bovine growth hormone. I’ve used that line with other people who won’t shut their trap about how big my daughter is. They then look at me, wondering if I’m being sarcastic or telling the truth. Ugh.

    Laura – That’s hilarious! You’d think people would believe the mother of the kids!

  12. Uggh. I have the opposite problem. Everyone mentions how tiny my child is. Like I don’t feed her and keep her chained to her bed. I haven’t come up with a clever “shut your mouth” comment yet. I guess her size is really exaggerated when you compare her to her two next older cousins, who are both HUGE Amazon children. Both of our families brag about large, chunky babies. They just say that Aveline is beautiful.

  13. If you ever get a tattoo, it should be this: I Spawned an Amazon Warrior Princess (on shoulder, or cheek) – and – And She’ll Kick Your Ass (on the other shoulder. Or cheek. I like cheeks.)

  14. My daughter was 9lb 11oz when she was born. Exclusively nursing, she gained 16 more pounds in her first four months. I was dressing her in 3T clothing at 9mos. At her one year appt., the dr told me that if she gained NO weight over the next year, she would START to be height/weight appropriate.

    I now have twin boys who were 31 lbs and 28 lbs at 1 year. I always love seeing the bigger kids. I’m so used to it that the small kids seem weird to me.

  15. I wish people would just STFU about size. Don’t comment on how big (or small) you think a pregnant woman may be, and don’t comment on how big (or small) you think a child may be.

    I always HATED it when older ladies – who were otherwise sweet and wonderful – would poke Tacy’s tummy and comment about her “fat tummy” or squeeze her knees and comment about her “fat legs”. My baby is PERFECT.

    Cordy is a doll. End of story.

  16. Cordy is perfect the way she is. Very odd that the couple went on and on like that. So what if she’s bigger?

    I always get the opposite, “she’s so tiny!!! she’s so small. Are you feeding her?” Harumph!

  17. Hi there. Love your site. My first two kids were both close to 30 lbs at age one and eventually they just levelled off like you said. My youngest is 7 months and 22 lbs. I think I’d have worried WAY more if they were underweight. I loved having chubby babies and all those cute adorable rolls…..ahhh the best! Your daughter is beautiful!

  18. Ugh. Really, that’s all I have to say. Just Ugh.

  19. Is there such a thing as an average child? They’re either too big, too small, too short, etc., etc. But in their parent’s mind every baby is perfect and that’s what is important. Unfortunately, I think that other mom was just trying to find a way to make small talk and it took a wrong turn down a slippery path.

    btw, Congrats on Aaron’s new job!!

  20. I just can’t believe people actually seek out to comment about how big she is! I think it’s a little rude! I get the same thing with Leah except she’s really small for her age so people act like I must not feed her or something. They ask how old she is because she’ll talk to them in the stores- then when I say 15 months they look at me either like I’m lying because she’s so small or lying because she’s talking so much. People are strange.

  21. People are funny…our son turned 2 this month, and this appointment was the first time he was below the 90th percentile in either height or weight. He is 75th in weight and 50th in height. We think it’s great, whatever percentile he is in. Hubby is 6’4″, and I’m 5’2″. Our son is over half my height, and has been for months. Everyone says “He’s going to be big like daddy.”. It’s funny, if he were shorter, would they say “He’s going to be small like Mommy?”.

    Just ignore them…They’re just trying to make conversation, and apparently that’s the best they can do.

  22. Claire is ‘big’ too. She was 29lbs and 3 feet tall at her 2 year check up. No one believes me that she is 2 1/2. Well. She is. She is tall.
    I think people get thrown by the cheeks. Claire is starting to lose hers (boohoo!). I miss em! I wanna eat those chubby cheeks!! Cordy can come play with us. Tall cheeky and cute!

  23. I use the same tactic as you… 3 1/2 year old was 9 lbs at birth and weighed 26 lbs when he was 9 months old…people would literally act like he was a circus star…now he is still huge like that but folks don’t say as much until they think he is acting immature…you know he is 40 lbs and 40 inches tall like a 5 year old and just got potty trained and folks think that is weird (for a 5 year old maybe weird) but I keep telling them, “oh yea, he is gonna make his mommy rich when he is as good a roger clemens or a professional football player)…on my camp it is even harder when his younger brother is on the small end, under 50 % his whole life…when I tell people they are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and there’s 2 heads difference in their height people act like I’m a weirdo with weirdo kids….I say, go fug yourself, my kids are freakin gorgeous and you are freakin weird….that usually does it, just a look that says that usually gets them everytime!

  24. Got a link to your website from the kwait family and I sooo agree with you – To make you feel better, my daughter is 21 months old (2 years on September 19th), weighs 29/30 pounds, 35 inches tall but her head is only in the 50th percentile! Everything else, 90th! Heck, my hubby is 6’4 and I am 5’9, we aren’t having small children~ Everyone always says “Well, you and Randy aren’t small” – Is that a compliment really??
    Enjoy that baby!

  25. When J&D and the Munchkin are out to visit in August, we should team up. Munchkin is HUGE. :) And I have absolutely no clue where she gets it from. She’s mistaken for four.

  26. I never thought of Cordy as anything but normal.

    I feel for you though, Becca is really tall and people are always asking if she is two-two and a half. Of course she acts, walks, runs, climb like a kid about to turn two. Add the glasses and everyone has something to say :(

  27. I get this all the time. Cakes is 27 pounds at 13 months!

    The good thing is, I am losing weight from carrying so much around all day!

  28. Michelle says:

    I was the same way as a young child. When the doctors guessed how tall I would be, they said six feet tall. I am only 5′ 6″. So I highly doubt your ‘Amazon warrior’ will actually end up being that tall. She is BEAUTIFUl and healthy and that is what counts.
    I sympathise with you about the back strain. My 8 month old (tomorrow!) is almost 30 inches and probably about 20 pounds. So he is really big too. I have people all the time saying how tall he is. Not big though, because he is pretty skinny. The funny part is that his head is not big. He is the 100th percentile for height, but the 10th for his head. Oh well! I know he is smart, so I’m not going to worry about it. And I think he is the cutest little boy in the world :)

  29. My 5 year old is on the other end of the spectrum. He is small for his age and no one thinks he is 5 so I know how you feel.
    I’m sure this lady was probably just trying to have a conversation with you but it didnt turn out so well.

  30. We took Keira in for her 9 month wellness visit last week. She is 21 pounds, which is 97th percentile. I don’t remember the numbers, but she is 97th in height and 99th in head size! She isn’t that great at sitting yet, and the doctor said that it is because her head is so big…
    Her older brother, who is 3, was always middle or a little below average. I just predict that MY amazon princess will be beating up her peewee herman brother in no time.

  31. I hate having this conversation. My son is 8 and is the smallest kid in his class, and the oldest. People are always asking me “Is he five or six??” HE’S EIGHT. Sorry to disapoint. At that point I always get the pity look from parents. Thats when I say “all his growth went to his brain. He’s a certifiable genius”

  32. The Flip Flop Mamma! says:

    I have the opposite happening with my baby and i get sooo tired of it. She’s 6 months and weighs 15 lbs 8 oz, so I think she’s pretty big, but people are ALWAYS telling me how small she is, like I starve her or something. And they say “oh I thought she was 3 months.” Yuck.

  33. I absolutely don’t understand why parents are so interested in a baby’s size. What difference does it make if your kid is bigger than mine? Bigger doesn’t mean better, and it doesn’t mean worse. It’s just different. Sheesh!

  34. To be honest — I wish Dawson was bigger for his age. That woman was obviously jealous or just too superficial. I get the opposite remarks.
    A woman at the mall told me my son was “too tiny” and actually had the nerve to ask me if he had eating disorders. It floored me. He’ll be two in September and he’s 26 pounds and a bit short (I’m short, but pleasantly plump, so there you have the genes!) He eats like a horse. So that just tells me that comparisons are BS. Kids develop on their own pace. I know Cordy is healthy and beautiful regardless of her “baby stats”.

  35. LOL – steriods and BGH! I love your sense of humor!

  36. First of all, she’s adorable. She looks beautiful and healthy and happy. This size crap is ridiculous.

    But, I know where you’re coming from. My 23 month old is almost three feet tall and over 30 lbs. as well. I am constantly getting questions from other moms about her size. Anyway, I think your comment about the steroids is perfect. If someone continues to press the subject, just turn to snark and sarcasm. They should get the hint.

    I just found your blog (thanks to Another Mommy Moment), and I think it’s fabulous! Keep up the great work.

  37. I feel ya. I really do. My son is just a year and weighs about 25-26 lbs. He’s also very tall for his age. Basically, he’s 97th percential for everything.

    People never fail to make a remark about him “not missing any meals”. HELLO???? He just turned one. He still has baby fat. WTF???? I can’t even believe people put me in the position to explain that he eats no more than my very petite daughter did at the same age. Grrrrr….

  38. Sorry, I meant “percentile”

  39. Hi there. My daughter is 21 mo. weighs thirty lbs. and is 35 or 36 inches tall(she squirms when I measure). i have experienced a lot of the same comments and stares. But are they not beautiful? I’m short (5’4″) but have a little more to love, her daddy tall and slim to avg. All of her cousins are slim some tall some short. It’s hard not to let the comments of those who don’t think before they speak get under your skin. If I see smaller kids I don’t question if theyre parents have been feeding them properly. I say “What a cutie” and move on. Cant other parents do the same for us? Cordy is beautiful, just do your best to ignore the ignorant. Everyday tell her what you know- that she is so pretty.

  40. My daughter who just turned 4 looks like she’s 5 or 6, weighs about 55 pounds, is an Amazon Princess, and she’s drop dead georgeous with a personalty that is amazing! And, I know why other parents make comments, because she’s beautiful and, not sick looking. She does gymnastics, ballet, swimming, soccer, basketball, and soon karate! I’m going to do a page on her, she started ballet at 18 months! Well, most comments are she’s adorable, but at 2 she was wearing size 3t or 4t, and now at 4 size 5t or 6. I believe the parents with kids that only have a pinch of fat on them, are jealous because she’s athletic looking, but my daughter is very active and, that’s why she’s in these sports to keep active and, not to get fat! But, that’s the key, get your kid active in sports as soon as you can, don’t ignore what sign they give you. My daughter was dancing in front of mirrors at 18 months so, I found a ballet school that took her. And, she still loves ballet best! So, again their just jealous cause your kids ahead in development, I know mine is, and I love her very much and, will continue to support her in every way I can.

  41. Here’s a story: I was in the mall at the indoor playground with my daughter, and this lady said, to me your daughters’ “husky”, then, said, “her son was husky, well….her son wasn’t there, she was watching her grandson, who was “tiny”. And, she made another comment, about my daughter not socailizing…I said, my daughter likes to pick and, choose, and soon as she spoke, “poof”, my daughter had friends. She was just uncomfortable that her grandson was annoying her, so she had to take out on me….annoying!

  42. Oh! Thank you, thank you! Your the first place and, only place I could find on this topic. It’s good to know there’s a place to go to.

  43. I have a boy who was born at 27 weeks weighing 2 pds 6.08oz. he is getting ready to turn 6 mths and his adjusted is 3 mths. big bones run on my side of the family and when he had his last checkup he was in the 90-95 percentile for his age group- his last check up he weigjhted close to 12 pds and 23.5 inchs long. mind u he was a preemie. my son is no where near fat. he is very solid unlike his daddy who is 6.0 and 140. i did compare him to a 6th month old and my son looked like a tank. my son is very active and has already learned how to roll over from back to tummy.. no one should ever call a baby fat. :(.

  44. Courtney, Chico, CA says:

    My baby girl Ava was born 10-1/4 lbs. 21-1/2 inches. She’s now (at 10 months, today) 35 lbs. and 30 inches of happy, healthy baby–be proud, your baby is beautiful! There’s (usually) nothing wrong with a big baby–they come in all sizes, and some people just make ‘em big! Ask yourself, ‘am I concerned about her size?’, and if you are, there are blood tests that your pediatrician can order for you to be sure. We did, as I have a family history of endocrine imbalance. Our insurance paid for these tests and we are glad we got them.

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