Uh, Britney? Mrs. Federline? You got a minute?

OK, clearly you either have no real friends, or your friends haven’t had the guts to tell you, so I guess that leaves it up to me. *deep breath*

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Britney, a dye job won’t make you a hip, cool mama, no matter how dark you dye it. You’ll never be as cool as Angelina Jolie, even if you have baby #2 in Namibia.

Why will you never be a cool mommy? Well, first, because you won’t put away the boobs and spit out your gum to talk to Matt Lauer, which just screams “white trash”.

Second, you’re married to this dork:

I rest my case.

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  1. It pains me. It really does. For the love of God.

    If anything, I would say that if I had all the money, I’d be looking damn good ALL THE TIME.

    However, I think she’s a little depressed – and in need of some REAL support – not “kiss my ass cuz I’m rich” kind of stuff.

  2. MU – Absolutely, she needs some serious help. Which is why I do believe she must not have any real friends, because real friends would sit her down and tell her this. (although probably a little more gently than I did)

  3. LMFAO
    the world would be a better place if her and justin would just GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY!

  4. I couldn’t agree more…it is so sad really…just goes to show you all the money in the world can’t buy you happiness.

  5. Sorry maybe cuz im 24 also. But i really love her. And i feel for her. The damn press gives her a bad rap. Yes she chose the wrong outfit for the interview… very much so. but come on.. and yeah her friends mmust be like sure brit, wear that… do that… and then rolling their eyes… lol
    but i love her.. sue me… lol.

  6. AND!!!! AND!!!! you aren’t supposed to dye your hair while you are pregnant!! I can’t believe that a hairdresser did it for her.

    Wait a minute… who am I kidding? Kfed probably did it for her in the kitchen sink.

  7. Although I gotta say, I am digging the brunette look on her… Go figure.

  8. Pity is the exact feeling I have. If she was serious about cleaning up her image and setting the public straight, she would have listen just a smidgen to her publicist. And maybe wore something that didn’t scream “Look at my breasts!”

    It is obvious that no one cares enough about her to say no to her or criticize her. She needs my mother. Hell she needs anybody’s mother.

  9. Yeah, ok, I want to feel bad for Britney,but it is just too hard to. I took some offense to her “southern” references. Ok, I have lived in the south more years than I care to admit and I DO NOT drive with my baby on my lap. And if I were being chased around by photographer’s, I certainly wouldn’t start! Honey, I can make sweet tea too, doesn’t mean that I should smack gum and push my boobs out. Wait, maybe I should, think it will get me some? As I say in my best Britney voice :-)

    Oh, I could go on about that interview for hours. I actually watched it BOTH nights just to be sure I wasn’t seeing what I was actually seeing. I do think the paparazzi go too far, but Brit, from what you do and say, it seems you want them to.

  10. I already expressed my thoughts in some detail on the whole “mrs. federline thing” but you’re so right. I agree with Kristi. She needs a mother.

  11. I didn’t even watch the interview because I can’t stand the girl. Just don’t get me started!

    But what you said was right on the mark!

  12. Michelle says:

    I feel so badly for her! She just doesn’t get it. I sat through that Lauer interview just wanting to scream at her to spit up her gum and sit up straight. I just really worry about her children. How are they going to come out “normal” in a household like that. She does seem really sad. It seems like she is alone in this and the media is completely against her.
    I’m sorry– the whole thing about her tripping. Give her a break! What mother hasn’t tripped while holding their child. And if anyone watched that clip closely, you could see that she wasn’t supporting the baby’s head. She handled that situation perfectly. Now, I won’t discuss the carseat (or lack thereof) controversy… I just pity her.

  13. Mommy off the Record says:

    All I have to say is: where is her MOTHER??

  14. - aurora - says:

    Hi, Christina. Nice review you have here. I made another one. Maybe you’d like to take a look at it. I hope you don’t mind if I put the link to this post in my blog entry.
    It’s The Wanna-Be Mom with Her Hair Dyed! Thanks!


  15. I think it’s sad. It’s obvious she has a lot of problems.

  16. She looks much better as a brunette though and too bad her hubby wouldn’t look better with professional help of all kinds…he is just gross!

  17. The brunette is much better than the platinum rats nest I saw the other night.

    I honestly think that cleaned up and slapped around a bit, Mr. Federline would be not half bad looking. Okay maybe slapped around alot.

  18. The Flip Flop Mamma! says:

    OMWord. You crack me up! that was great!

  19. I honestly thought that was Angelina in the picture. Sheesh. Britney was once cool Back in the days of Mickey Mouse Club. Ugh. She’s so trampy now. But I admit, I like her music. Some of the songs are catchy!

  20. It’s sad. I feel sad for her. And for her children.

  21. the evidence is all there. she has lost her marbles.

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