Uh, Britney? Mrs. Federline? You got a minute?
OK, clearly you either have no real friends, or your friends haven’t had the guts to tell you, so I guess that leaves it up to me. *deep breath*
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Britney, a dye job won’t make you a hip, cool mama, no matter how dark you dye it. You’ll never be as cool as Angelina Jolie, even if you have baby #2 in Namibia.
Why will you never be a cool mommy? Well, first, because you won’t put away the boobs and spit out your gum to talk to Matt Lauer, which just screams “white trash”.
Second, you’re married to this dork:
I rest my case.