I’m convinced that to work a kiosk in the mall on Black Friday, you need only have a pulse and the ability to speak. Speaking well, with forethought, is not required.
The scene today as I walked by a kiosk, pushing Cordy in her stroller:
Saleswoman: Ma’am, do you straighten your hair? Could we give you a demonstration of our new hair straightener?
Me: No, I don’t straighten my hair. It’s naturally straight. (trying to walk past)
Salewoman: (looking down at Cordy) Oh. Uh, what about your daughter? Could we show you how it can straighten her hair?
Me: Are you effin’ kidding me?!?! She’s two! (walking off immediately)
Yeah, right, I want to straighten my toddler’s hair. Just as much as I want to perm it, as some people think I do. The kid won’t even let me comb her hair without thrashing around and screaming. I can just imagine her sitting still to have a hot styling appliance applied to her hair. We won’t even go into the issue that she’s too young to deal with beauty issues like that.