A child care provider you can trust is one of the most valuable things you can have as a parent. It may be someone to provide full-time care, part-time care, or just the occasional date night. Whether you need the care for work, or just for a little time off, knowing you can leave your child with this provider without any fear is something to be thankful for every day.
Which is why I’ve been feeling a slight panic over the the past few weeks. My friend L has watched Cordy for me one or two days a week for nearly a year and a half. She and I have been friends for over 10 years, and she has a son slightly older than Cordy. I’d describe her parenting style as just as overprotective, or more so, than me, which makes me feel completely safe leaving Cordy with her. I know that my daughter is lovingly cared for in her home, with her every need covered, with plenty of attention and guidance, and with another child for company.
However, all of that is now changing. Due to some sad events, L and her long-term partner are splitting up. She has been lucky to be a stay at home mom ever since her son was born, but now she must find a new apartment, and will have to find a full-time job to support her son. Her retired mom moved up to Ohio from Arizona just a few weeks ago, and will take care of watching L’s son while she works, but it does mean Cordy is without a babysitter two days a week.
I have been helping my friend as much as possible with getting on with her life – watching her son so she could go fill out paperwork and meet with assistance counselors, finding jobs for her to apply for, helping with apartment searches, etc. And while I am happy to be there for her, I am also mourning the loss of my trusted child care provider.
L’s job hunt has been slow going, and so she is now looking at temp agencies, which means that any day now I could find out that Cordy has no one to watch her. My own search for a replacement child care provider is also going slowly, too. We don’t have any other family or friends we could turn to for this amount of childcare, and while I’m sure there are several in-home providers who are perfectly nice people, I am too paranoid to trust a stranger alone with my child.
I’ve called several daycare centers and preschools (all of the NAEYC accredited ones, of course), but most have no openings for at least 6-8 months. Of the fifteen or so that I contacted, one had an opening, and I’m touring the center on Friday. My other option is to beg Aaron’s aunt for help again. She is an asst. director for an early childhood learning center, and she was the one we turned to when Cordy was three months old and my old job suddenly cut off telecommuting for all employees. We’re hoping she might find a spot for Cordy at her center.
The other issue affecting our decision is the cost involved. The one center with the opening is asking $485 a month for care two days a week. That’s a lot more than we currently pay L, and probably more than we can afford. My mother watches Cordy during the other day I work, but for now can’t help out more than one day a week due to her work schedule. Quitting my job is not an option at this point either.
Somehow, it will all work out. This is pretty poor timing – had it been two months later, Cordy could have stayed home with me during maternity leave, and we would have more time to find more options. But L needs to get out on her own, and I understand the struggle she’s going through. I plan to keep searching out other possibilities, and I know we will find a solution eventually. I’m thankful for the year and a half that L was able to watch Cordy, and I know that Cordy benefited from that time with her.
If you have a babysitter or child care provider you like and trust, be sure to tell them thank you for all they do. Because you never know when you could find yourself without that trusted caregiver, and finding someone else you could put that much trust in is often hard to do.
Oh, no. Hope you find something else soon.
I wish you the best of luck, and thank you for the reminder for gratitude. I think I’m going to go buy some flowers now for my wonderful mom.
This is such a difficult situation, isn’t it? I’m sorry for your friend, but I understand what a struggle it is to find a childcare situation that you’re comfortable with.
Our own lovely arrangement had a shakeup recently, and while we found a band-aid solution, that will peel off in about 6 months. I’m not looking forward to that.
But, yes, I thank our nanny (who we share with another family) every day for the wonderful job she does. Hope you will be able to soon as well.
Amen! If I could find someone other than my parents who I could trust, I’d be golden!
But, my son was expelled from preschool. Then he was expelled from Kindergarten. And we just heard yesterday that his (new) Kindergarten teacher recommends that he find a new school for first grade. Stability in education, child-care, and other “non-mommy-in-charge” things is VERY hard to find!
It is like a string of dominos or a house of cards: if childcare goes, everything goes!
I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I know things will work out.
I’ve had to change childcare providers three times since I had Dawson.
His first daycare person was a great woman, but I only needed her part-time and after a year she decided to only accept full time kids.
Then I put him in the very expensive (but highly praised) daycare at my old job and I paid through the nose! But Dawson learned so much and I feel the money was not wasted. When I quit, I didn’t feel like paying all that money to my old boss. Yuck.
Now he goes to a private home daycare (I was on the waiting list for seven months, though) and it’s inexpensive and he’s with my cousin’s children most of the day.
I do hope you find someone. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
Finding daycare bites. i remember doing that the first few months after I went back to work. Infant care (5x a week) is SOO expensive.
At least now that Cordy’s above two, you can look into year-round toddler programs? Ella is enrolled in one, and it’s a lot cheaper than daycare. For us, in California—where everything seems to cost an arm and a leg, they quoted around $400 for 3 full days a week. I think it’s a little extra if they aren’t potty trained.
I wish you luck, and I will definitely go home and sing praises to my sitter.
I would think quitting your job would be an option if it will take your whole paycheck to pay for child care. That’s simple math.
Ah, but it will not take my entire paycheck – just enough of it to make paying other bills difficult to impossible, but not so much that we could get by without that paycheck entirely.
It’s a sticky situation for those at a certain income level. And we’re brainstorming ways to cut back more to make it work.
This is such a heart wrenching aspect to parenting. I am so far lucky enough to be able to stay home full time but still haven’t found anyone outside of my parent’s for baby sitting I trust.
Coming from the side of having worked in day care for 5 years I would recommend looking into NAEYC and Non-NAEYC approved as I have spent a significant amount of time working in both and the non-NAEYC, and smaller Montessori day care I worked for provided by far the better care.
Good Luck!
Good luck to you in our search for
Cordycare, and good wishes to L as well – sounds like she is in a real bummer of a situation.
Congrats on getting into nursing school!
So sorry for your friend’s situation. I’m not in your area, but you could check out part-time nannies to come to your home. The rate could be anywhere from $10-20 an hour, which is still less than what that center is asking for. I know a bunch of nannies are registered at Sittercity.com, so maybe you could find luck there.
Hope it all works out!
L is splitting up? 🙁
This is why we need guaranteed day care, sponsored by the state.
Oy. I am so sorry. What a rough situation for absolutely everyone right now.
GL to L.
This is one of the hardest bits in parenting, I swear.
GL to you finding something good.
Now, there was a nationwide service (I think $15 to subscribe for 3 months?) that I used to find licensed homecare providers. Moms put up “seeking” and providers put up “offering” ads. It’s on the Internet. It was VERY helpful. What was the name…
Grrr
Okay SitterCity rings a bell. I think I used that, maybe more for in-home care. nannies4hire and babysitters.com might have something.
A friend and I split the nanny fee and did a nanny share thing for a bit too.
I also advertised at local universities.
Plus, the commonwealth offered through the childcare licensing agency a free packet that had tips and tricks of finding good care and also a directory of daycares, nannies, and homecare places. So check with local agencies.
I know my neighborhood has several homecare businesses. It’s mainly word of mouth via other moms.
GL and geez, I hope this helped in some way.
Wow, this sucks. I’m sorry to hear about your predicament. I wish I had some leads for you!
I know exactly what you’re going through. It took me until the day before I started back to school before I found a babysitter. I thought I was going to have to drop out, but it all worked out at the last minute. We love our babysitter, though, so it was worth the stress!
Good luck to you guys and I hope you find someone soon!
I’m sorry about your dilemma. That really sucks. I’m crossing my fingers that it all works out for you.
As for loving my babysitter, if we actually HAD one, I would definitely love her. But alas, the babysitter gods have not been kind to us.
Things will hopefully work out for you. It’s the not knowing that kills you. We’ve got one in a perfect daycare now but we know that being able to afford our second one who is on the way is going to require some changes.
So, there’s worry but we know we’ll find a way. And you will, too. Don’t panic until AFTER things go crazy 🙂
babysitter? huh? what’s that?
SitterCity.com, Babysitters.com