Back in April, I wrote an open letter to the presidential candidates, laying out the issues that were important to me and why. I reminded them of how the middle class seems to be slipping away, and how I worried that my family could face ever harder times if things continued as they were. I wrote:
Despite all of that, I have it pretty good compared to many in this country. We still have food, we still have some luxuries, and we still have our house. As long as my husband isn’t laid off – a real risk we’ve faced three times in the past year – our bills are still paid each month and the needs of our family are met. But there are so many who can’t even provide the most basic needs for their families. Food banks are running out of food because of the growing number of people – even middle-class – who must now turn to them for help. Should my husband be laid off, I could be one of those people, too, depending on charity and the kindness of others to feed our family.
Oh, hi – look at us now. I should go into business as a psychic.
It’s been three months now since Aaron lost his job. In that time, unemployment rates have continued to climb, as have consumer prices on nearly everything. Things in Ohio aren’t so hot, either. The governor just announced another 4.5% must be slashed from the state budget in all departments by the end of this month. You can bet many departments will take care of that with more layoffs, further increasing the competition for jobs.
We never expected to still be without full time employment in September, but here we are. We still have our house, we still have food, and we still have one or two luxuries (like internet, which we actually need for freelance work), but not much else. It feels like we’re stuck in some twisted nightmare. We’re college educated, and we have a lot of work experience – why can’t we find a job?
More resumes have been sent out than we can count, and his suit has been cleaned and pressed for a handful of interviews. The job market is so tight at the moment that employers can be very picky. Often he isn’t considered because even though he has years of experience in his field, his degree in Theatre doesn’t match up with layout and graphic design. Or they question why he’s applying for a job that makes less than he did previously. He’s even tried for a job that only requires lifting things (UPS), but in that case he’s dismissed as overqualified. After all, why would someone who was making so much before this want a dull job making just over minimum wage?
I don’t want this to sound all “poor us”. We will eventually find something. I’m sure of it. In the meantime, resumes keep flying out the door and we’re both working hard on our freelance jobs. But this lack of a full-time job has put us in a rough spot at the moment, and forced us to look at options we would have never considered before.
After three months, our savings are nearly gone, despite being conservative in our spending. The mortgage is due in October, and I’m still not entirely sure how we’re going to cover it. I think we’ll be able to scrape it together, but November will be coming all too quickly. We’ve already had to weigh the costs of taking our child to the doctor versus waiting it out – we did go and it cleared up, but it’s possible we waited too long and Cordy may have a scar on her face from it.
So last month we swallowed our pride and applied for assistance. Cordy and Mira now have health insurance, thanks to SCHIP. (You know, that children’s health insurance program that Congress tried to expand and Bush vetoed.) And after having battle after battle with myself, we now are on food assistance as well.
How do I feel about it? I hate depending on assistance, mostly because I feel there are others who need it more. We’re doing it to buy us more time and protect our daughters’ health. I’ll admit that the food assistance saves us a lot of money, even if I am angry that it had to come to this. And considering that we’re currently making about $1200 a month from our freelance income and unemployment combined, and our mortgage alone is $1100, saving some money on food helps.
I’m reminded by family and friends that it’s OK to ask for help now and then. After all, three generations of my family have paid into the government’s assistance programs without ever needing it, so using a little of that help now shouldn’t bring on waves of guilt. But I still feel so…judged…when I’m buying groceries and the cashier looks at me when I swipe my card and says loudly, “Oh, you’re using food stamps.” It’s an uncomfortable feeling to look at government assistance from the inside, knowing the prejudices you may have held when you were on the outside.
There was a time when I might have judged someone if I saw them buying groceries with food stamps, but now I know that nearly anyone could find themselves in those circumstances if the planets aligned the wrong way. And I’ve heard healthcare workers speaking poorly of a patient at the hospital because they’re on Medicaid, something I could never do. Yes, there are people who abuse the system, but who are we to determine if someone really needs the help or not just by looking at them?
It’s hard to admit, but we are now a statistic. A middle class family now with no full-time employment, on assistance, with the risk that we could lose our house if something doesn’t change in the next few months. Our story is one which so many others in this country could tell – we’re not unique in any way. It’s why this election has become so important to me, why I’m nearly ready to go door to door to campaign for people to vote, and why I feel we all need to look beyond the hype and the superfical issues of this year’s campaign and investigate the issues fully.
Because you never know when you could be the next statistic.
It is a sobering post. Especially since I have spent the morning cutting “fluff” out of our budget. Canceling subscriptions, that sort of thing. Although your situation is much worse than mine, I can see where it wouldn’t take too much for us to join you as a statistic.
Hang in there. We’re all praying for you. And everyone else in your position.
I imagine you’re under so much stress, yet you remain positive. I really hope things take a turn for the best and soon.
We’re hoping that people decide to keep flying. Otherwise, we’ll be in a similar situation.
You are right. It can happen to anyone and at anytime.
Thanks for writing about this, Christina — it’s like knocking on thousands of doors at once.
Best of luck to your family for better times ahead (soon!).
I’m so sorry, hon. I hold my breath when reading these posts because I don’t feel that we could fare as well if Patrick were to lose his job right now…
Hope things clear up soon.
that’s what public assistance is there for mama. there’s no shame in getting help when you need it. we have WIC which is all we have in the fridge sometimes and i breastfeed my 7 month old mainly because its free. and since we are walking that fine line of rich poverty ourselves, we do not qualify for food stamps although we are a family of four living on a landscapers income. we eat alot of ramen noodles and sandwiches around here which is dull but okay. and my kids have state insurance too because we can’t afford $1000 per month for family insurance.
our town has a special vote tonight because the state didn’t allow the schools enough money and instead of closing down the elementary school they have opted to close a firestation and lay of some police and town officials instead. so up go the taxes once more. that or no school and no emergency response.
hope things get better for you all (and all of us) soon. hang in there.
Very brave of you to be so real in this post. Hang in there. It’s not easy in Ohio right now. I’m currently looking for other work right now and have got about 10 rejection letters. Saving grace is I have my job still, but circumstances are such that I wonder how long that will last so I’m starting to look now. With not much success so far.
I wish Aaron luck and hope your situation turns around soon. Don’t feel ashamed about the assistance. That’s what it’s there for. It’s not like you’re a life long case, which is where it does get wrong.
I hope things improve for you soon. This was a very sobering post, coming from Michigan where unemployment is the highest in the country. I hope my job somehow retains it full time status through the slow winter season.
I hope Hurricane Ike didn’t deal you yet another blow – I gather he did his dance of destruction in Ohio too.
Has your husband looked into substitute teaching? Normally the only requirements are either 2 or 4 years of college. Doesn’t matter what the degree is in. Pay isn’t semi OK & it’s money in the door.
I hope Hurricane Ike didn’t deal you yet another blow – I gather he did his dance of destruction in Ohio too.
Has your husband looked into substitute teaching? Normally the only requirements are either 2 or 4 years of college. Doesn’t matter what the degree is in. Pay isn’t semi OK & it’s money in the door.
I HAVE been going door to door to register voters. For you. For me. For my son. For all of us.
I have told myself that one day my son might ask me, “When the ice caps were melting, when the banks were failing, when our schools were failing, when the middle class was disappearing, when our government was spending billions on a wasteful war, authorizing torture and spying on its own citizens, what did you do?
No matter the outcome of this election, I want to be able to answer him, “Everything I could.”
I hope your situation improves soon.
Knowing what it feels like to live a few paychecks from the edge, i’m so sorry for all the stress and anxiety and pain this is putting you through. Prayers that full time employment happens soon.
{{HUGS}}
It never comes at a “Good time” and it never give warning either. Unemployment sucks, whichever way you look at it…Ive done my fair share of waiting, and watching and money stretching…hope things pick up for you all soon….
I hope things turn around for you guys soon.
Longtime lurker.:) Have to comment. I hope things get better for you! Here’s a tip from my food stamp days: Here in TN, food stamps are on the EBT card. I always went through the lines where you check out your own groceries at Walmart and the grocery. Saves on the comments by the cashier.:)
thank you for your honest post. what a sad commentary for where we’ve come. i’m a teacher of short people (first graders) and each year i see the families with tighter and tighter budgets and sad stories about the electricity being shut off…i worry for our nation as a whole….there is no shame in public assistance…i was a child of a parent on food stamps as she tried to be a single mom getting through nursing school. it’s ok. no shame.
What an amazing post. It really can happen to any one of us. My husband lost a really good paying job in December and now works at a job that pays 40% of what the old one did. We defaulted on our lease for one of our cars, have a staggering amount of credit card debt, and have to pay for our own health insurance. We’re lucky to have people to help us out, to be able to sell some of our old things. But in the end, we’re still about to file bankruptcy and that stings. We’ll be okay. But it really does show that anything can happen.
sobering indeed. may your condition improve soon. i have faith that it will because i can see in your post that you refuse to be defeated by this adversity.
Hey~sending hugs & good thoughts from Michigan. We’re in a very similar boat; my husband’s just gone back to work after an accident there put him out for 3 months. This month looks scary, but I’m just praying that things look up from here.
Thanks for making me feel less alone.
I’m so glad you posted this. If my husband lost his job, we’d be in the same boat. It’s so scary and disouraging. Don’t feel bad about getting assistance. I have a son with autism, and we’ve had to use assistance from the state to help pay for the therapy he needs, but insurance companies refuse to pay for. I’m going to volunteer in this campaign, too, b/c this election is so important. Our country desparately needs change.
I really do hope things get better for you and everyone else in a similar situation very soon. Everything really can change almost instantly. I’ve been there before. Right now we are doing ok and have a lot of help from my in-laws while the hubs is still in school.
I definitely support social services for people who really need it and you are one of them. Our son gets Kchip and if he didn’t have it I don’t know how we would afford all of his Dr. appts. and endoscopies + medicine every month.
There are so many people in a similar position right now. I applaud you for posting such an honest post about your situation. Times are tough for all of us in the middle. Things really need to change because there is no way our economy is sound. I think it is safe to say that most of the middle class is just a paycheck away from being a statistic. Things will get better. They have to. You and your family have my prayers.
Sobering thoughts and really well written. I hope that you’re able to get lots of freelance work until those full-time jobs arrive.