Playing Love Games

A conversation that is regularly heard in our household:

“Mira, do you love mommy?”

“Yea! I wuf ma-mee!”

“Do you love Cordy?”

“Yea, I wuf kor-eee!”

“Do you love grandma?”

“Yea, I wuf aaa-maaa!”

“Do you love daddy?”

“No. I don wuf da-eee ei-er(either).”

Of course we all know that Mira loves her daddy. But she has turned it into a game now, and daddy is always the victim, with Cordy occasionally falling onto the No Love list as well. (Usually after Cordy has taken away a toy or told Mira to leave her alone.)

The problem is, it’s constant. And while Aaron tries to not take it personally, it eventually gets to him and it hurts. But Mira rarely relents. She’s a pint-sized Roman emperor, using her love as a prize to be given and withheld as fits her mood. I’m sure she thinks it’s hilarious, although we try to never laugh or let on that we think it’s a game.

There was a period of a week or so where she did tell daddy she loved him, but only after I scolded her and explained I was upset with her for hurting daddy’s feelings. Soon she was back to her old game.

Yesterday there was a twist in her game, though. Out of the blue, she said:

“Da-eee, I don wuf yuuu – HA-Ha-ha!”

Imagine those laughs as staccato evil genius laughs, with a melody going from high pitched on the first HA to softer and lower pitched on the last ha. Aaron and I looked at each other with a mix of horror and humor. We couldn’t help but giggle – she was so proud of the addition of her little evil laugh. Of course, that prompted her to repeat it.

So I still have no solution on how to get her to admit she loves her daddy, but I think some of the tension has been dampened with the addition of her squeaky “HA-Ha-ha!” at the end of her declaration. We never had to deal with this with Cordy. Cordy loves everyone, and at two years old didn’t understand emotions well enough to articulate her love like Mira can.

Hopefully this phase will pass soon.

Mira the Imp
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  1. I know the feeling.

    Kate loves her routine, she always wants mommy to read her stories and usually has a fit if I want to read them.

    Then Paul will decide that it’s not fair that I always read his stories and will adamantly want mom to read them.

    It’s pretty lousy when both are adamant on these points. Judith gets no break and I get to feel rejected.

  2. Oh my gosh, that is awful. I know she’s just a kid and she doesn’t even know what she’s saying. But it still hurts. My son definitely favors me over my hubby sometimes, and I can see it frustrates him sometimes. Hopefully, it’ll change soon!

  3. My daughter, who is 4, does the same. She loves her Daddy but only throws a fit if Mommy doesn’t do something for her. Now there’s a new twist, hubby got laid off and so he’s home with her all the time now and if I get called in extra I have to go right then because we need the $$. Did not go over well this week. She sobbed as I went out the door. Mommy felt like a total heel and Daddy was hurt she never acted that way when he left for work. Kids love their routines. They also love demonstrating any power they can over their parents too (totally what Mira’s game is about now). Hang in there Jeff!

  4. john cave osborne says:

    okay, you kinda made me day b/c similar things have been happening over here with our two year old triplets. it’s unbelievable. i left a link to a blog post i wrote about it. you can show it to your husband as proof that it is something that affects more than just him.

    great post!

  5. Oh, you’ve totally made me feel better about not being the only family in the world this happens to. DuckyBoy is 7 and most of what he says to his Dad is still negative.

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