One more day until
Cordy goes for another
evaluation

The school did it first
but now we are seeking a
medical response

Does Cordelia have
autism? Doctors will have
their say Saturday

If yes, more doors will
open for treatment and more
therapies also.

But I know this will
be so hard on her - testing
really bothers her

They will push her to
her limits, and I will do
my best not to cry

We've been through these evaluations before, but since they were performed by the school system, they don't "count" in the long term. I placed her on a waiting list for a medical evaluation over 6 months ago, but due to the high demand for these evaluations now (scary, isn't it?), there was still no call. Thankfully, her case worker reminded me that they work with providers other than the big hospitals, and worked her magic to get an appointment within a month.

While I know that we've done this before, I can't help but remember that horrible first evaluation, when Cordy thumped her head on the floor over and over, shrieked and screamed so loud that she scared the nurse, and clawed at the door in an attempt to escape. I don't expect a repeat of that behavior, but she will likely be uncomfortable and may lash out. I hope she'll show them only as much as she needs to show to make up their minds, without getting too upset or manic.


To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What's a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

While one of our cars is reaching geriatric status, as far as cars go, the other is still a spring chicken. Purchased after the untimely death of our Plymouth - thank you Valvoline instant oil change for forgetting to replace a cap so all the oil drained out - our Hyundai Tucson came to us as nearly new.

Being nearly new, we've had few problems with it, and the few problems we've had were due to the dealer being cheap. The tires were swapped at the last minute and replaced with nearly bald tires, even though the car had less than 20K miles on it. And the battery was likely an old battery.

So when the battery died in December, we gave a long distance middle finger to the dealer yet again and settled on the fact that we had an old battery. Not wanting to spend a lot of money, we took the car to Wal-Mart for a shiny new battery, and soon all was well again.

Except in February, when the car wouldn't start. At this point, we were convinced there was something wrong with the car, not the battery. This was a brand new battery! Maybe it was the alternator? We called AAA again, and the gentleman who assisted us ran a few tests and told us the battery wouldn't hold a charge. He assured us it was a defective battery, and suggested returning to Wal-Mart and asking them for a replacement.

We took it back for a new battery, selecting a different store in the off-chance it was a bad batch of batteries. Thankfully, they replaced it with little argument. Shiny new battery, happy car - the end, right?

Nope. On Friday, the car was dead. Again.

At this point, I was convinced there was something wrong with the car. Something was drawing a charge from the battery, even when the car was off, causing it to drain the battery. I couldn't even think of the costs involved in diagnosing and fixing an electrical problem in the car. We're still mostly unemployed, and a costly car repair is not in the budget.

Another call was placed to AAA this morning for a jump start. When the technician came out, he listened to our battery history and ran a few tests on the car. Turns out, the battery again wouldn't hold a charge. When we mentioned how unlikely it was for us to have two defective batteries, he printed out a test strip, showing that there were no electronic components drawing a charge from the battery while the car was off. "Take that to Wal-Mart and demand your money back," he told us, "You've got a bad battery."

Instead of replacing the battery at Wal-Mart again, we chose to buy a battery from AAA. It carries a warranty that guarantees they'll service the battery for free if there are any problems in the next three years. And any service calls for the battery will not count against our yearly number of free service calls. Hooray!

Now we have to return the Wal-Mart battery, and I expect a full refund. I hope they'll put a little more effort into making sure they have trustworthy batteries. We're lucky that both times the car battery died, the car was at home instead of out somewhere inconvenient with two children in the backseat. I certainly won't be buying a battery from them again - one defective battery is bad luck, but two is a problem.

Wal-Mart? You might want to fix that.

(And while I'm on a roll with ranting, I'll add: Old Navy? WTF is up with your jeans? Your Sweetheart "Classic rise" is supposed to fall just below the waist, and last I checked, my waist is not just above my pubic bone. I like my jeans to be at least as high up as my underwear.)

Give Mira a sticker, and you've got a 90% chance of it ending up in the same place every single time:



What is it about the middle of her forehead that screams I need some decoration here! ?

I think she'll be requesting a package of bindi jewelry for her birthday next month.

PS - Yes, she has a permanent case of bedhead.

PPS - No, it cannot be tamed with any amount of styling product.

PPPS - Yes, I tried everything. Embrace the tousled look.

My backyard is a
sea of yellow - beautiful
yet unwanted buds

Who decided that
dandelions are nothing
more than evil weeds?

If it wasn't for the fact that my entire neighborhood believes that dandelions should be eradicated from the planet, I'd be able to enjoy the golden blanket across my backyard. Actually, I still think they're pretty, and while I've eradicated them in the front yard, I don't want to use harsh chemicals in the areas where my kids play.

By the way - thanks for all the garlic suggestions last week! I can't wait to try out some of your ideas!

Also, I'm walking in the March for Babies here in Columbus this weekend - if you haven't donated to the March of Dimes yet, please consider helping me reach my goal in the walk! I'm walking not only in honor and memory of those touched by prematurity in my life, but I'm also walking in memory of Maddie. I'll have purple balloons at the walk, keeping them with me as a reminder and then setting them free at the end.


To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What's a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

I've spent the past two days working 12 hour shifts at the hospital for my last quarter of nursing school, and in that time I've been reminded that my interests aren't exactly the same as the average public. Take this exchange at the nurse station:

A nurse: So, do you work while going to school?

Me: Well, kinda. I work from home as a blogger.

All the nurses around me: *blank stares*

Another nurse: What's that?

Me: Um, you know...writing about your life or a specific topic on the internet? Creating communities around shared interests?

All the nurses around me: Oh, uh, OK...don't know what you're talking about...mumble mumble...Hey, there's a hockey game tonight, right?

I keep forgetting that not everyone likes to blog and share parts of their lives online. In fact, the average public may know about blogs, but I'm still on the geek edge of society.

I'll admit to having some pretty varied interests that some might call strange. Some things you may or may not know about me:

- I'm an internet geek, but I've been known to dress up in medieval clothing. At one point I decorated my living room with tapestries and swords on the wall.

- I still like cartoons as well as sci-fi TV shows, and I love video games when I get the chance to play them. (You should have heard me squeal with glee when I got my new Nintendo DSi.)

- I can't cook and I'm a lousy housekeeper, but I can knit and sew. So I guess I'm domestic in an upper class Victorian kinda way.

- I dislike soaps, but you can bet I watched the reality game show Who Wants To Be A Superhero? I also love Jeopardy.

- I was in a sorority in college (go AEPhi!) but we were probably the most unpopular sorority on campus. We were the Omega Mu's of the real world. Our common phrase? "I never thought I'd join a sorority..."

- I've never been what you'd call "popular". At the same time, in those few fleeting moments of my life when I was at my closest to being popular, I can tell you I found it boring. To be popular felt so bland and vanilla - I didn't like trying to hide my weirder quirks to please everyone.

I know I'm not alone here, so let your weird flag fly - what are your quirks or odd interests?

Now that Easter and Passover are finished, I've still got a dozen eggs sitting in my fridge waiting for some use. If you saw the dinner I attempted to cook tonight, you'd know that I'm a failure when it comes to turning ingredients into any kind of edible food.

I do love eggs, though, and over a year ago I found a microwave egg cooker that gives me perfect hard boiled eggs. (As I've said in the past - if I can microwave it, I will.) But hard boiled eggs can get boring. What I really need to learn is how to make deviled eggs.

There are a thousand recipes for deviled eggs out there. Some use mustard, some mayo - I've even seen one with curry. But my favorite deviled eggs are those made by my grandmother.

My grandmother got her recipe from her mother, who probably got it from her mother. It's one of the most simple deviled egg recipes - my grandmother grew up during the Great Depression, learning to cook with limited resources and supplies. Telling my grandmother that others use mustard or mayo in their deviled eggs will earn you a look of scorn from her as she replies, "What do you need all of that for in your eggs?"

Here it is:

Ingredients -
Hard boiled eggs
Salt
Pepper
Apple-cider vinegar
Sugar

Directions -
Cut eggs lengthwise and scoop out the yolks. Add some salt & pepper and mash the yolks. Then add equal parts apple-cider vinegar and sugar until the mixture reaches the desired consistency. Scoop the yolk mixture back into the eggs and chill.

That's it - easy, right? Of course, she has no specific measurements of how much to add of each ingredient, which is why I will never attempt to make them myself. Equal parts means nothing to me, but I'm sure many people could figure it out. These are the best deviled eggs - a little sweet, a little sour, with the full flavor of the egg coming through.

So while I'll never make them, I'm happy to stuff myself full whenever my grandmother brings a tray to our house. And seeing how we have some eggs to get rid of right now, I might beg her to make some more for me when she visits this week...

What do you do with your leftover eggs from Easter? Parent Bloggers and the American Egg Board want to know your best egg ideas in this week's blog blast.

Now that I'm cutting
back on sugar and fat, I
need food with flavor

My flavor of choice
is garlic - stinky, of course,
but oh so yummy!

In a moment of
delirium, I bought garlic
bulbs at the grocery

I can't cook. So I'll
ask you: any good garlic
recipes to share?

I'm not sure what possessed me to buy two bulbs of garlic at the store the other day, but now they're sitting in my kitchen, waiting for a use. I've always loved foods heavy on garlic, especially Italian dishes. Yes, I also keep a large supply of mints with me at all times, too. I'm considerate like that.

Seeing how I required a Google search to learn how to even peel garlic, it's no surprise that I don't know what to do with it.

Anyone have any good recipes that feature garlic?


To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What's a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

It's Cordy's spring break this week. And I'm amazed we've all survived this long.

I never thought I'd look forward to a Monday as much as I do right now.

Thank goodness the sun is shining today. After three days of rain, I was nearly ready to suit the kids up in raincoats and send them out into the cold rain and mud just for a minute or two of peace. Muddy footprints in the carpet and caked on mud in clothing would be a small price to pay for sanity.

With Cordy's routine being so off at the moment, we're dealing with a lot of attitude, shrieking, and inappropriate behavior. Our only solution so far is to give her more chores to do. She thinks putting cans into the recycling bin and sweeping the floor are exciting, and it gives her a repetitive activity that calms her down and forces more order into her day.

I think today we'll have her "pick flowers" in the backyard. Those dandelions are a pain to me, but she'll think she's making a bouquet.

While some may see Cordy at her worst - in a full-out, thrashing, crying meltdown - most now see her in her friendly, happy state: a hyper, smiling four year old, bounding around as if the world was hers alone. A year and a half of therapies have done an amazing job at calming her sensory sensitivities, helping her with coping skills, and teaching her proper social interaction.

And for those who only see her at her best, I often hear the same refrain: "She doesn't seem like she has autism."

I understand that it is often said as a compliment. They are trying to say that in the five or ten minutes they've observed her, they haven't seen any signs of a child with any kind of developmental issues. I agree - Cordy has worked so hard to recognize other kids, even asking them to play sometimes.

But now and then, some people go a little too far in their praise. It generally goes something like this: "How did you find out she has autism? Did you actually get a diagnosis? Are you sure?"

Like I'm making this up or something?

Or this: "Autism is such an over-diagnosed condition. Look at her - she's fine. What kid doesn't have tantrums or irrational fears? And some 4 year olds aren't potty trained yet. Just because she's not a genius doesn't mean she has autism."

Ouch.

The truth is, Cordy doesn't have a medical diagnosis yet, only an educational "classification". The difference really doesn't matter at this age. However, any funding for her therapy ends at 6 years old unless she has a medical diagnosis, and so her case worker has set up an appointment with a group of experts to evaluate Cordy in early May.

Because of what people have said to me, I've started to wonder if she will even be given a diagnosis. I mean, I'd love to hear that my child is perfectly typical in every way - forget genius, I'd be thrilled to hear average at this point - even if it meant I looked silly for thinking she had some condition that she doesn't.

But while people may think Cordy acts "normal" (whatever normal may be), they aren't around her for more than an hour. They don't notice that over half of what she says is a phrase she's heard from TV or other people, and that her responses don't always match what was said to her. They don't see our behind-the-scenes work. We do a lot of prep before we leave the house, making sure she knows what to expect ahead of time to prevent any surprises and avoid sensory triggers that could lead to a meltdown. And they don't see how hard she works in her classroom to retrain her entire thought process.

I asked her teacher if I should expect the evaluation to end without a diagnosis. After all, Cordy is the only kid with developmental issues that I've ever had, so maybe I'm seeing something that isn't there. She is certain Cordy will still be diagnosed on the spectrum. Her case worker agrees.

It does feel ridiculous to actually hope for a diagnosis so that her therapy can continue into her school years. But I want her to have every tool possible for a successful future.

I fully expected to have an oddball child when I became a mom. After all, I was the oddball when I was little - smart and teased mercilessly for it. Gifted I was prepared for. Special-needs I was not prepared for. I was prepared for a battle of wits at every turn. I was not prepared for the patience I'd need to talk with a child who can't read facial expressions, emotions or social cues.

Earlier today I found an excellent post, Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew, and as I read it, my eyes filled with tears. It reminded me to be patient and not expect perfection from Cordy, because no child fits all of the expectations of parents. Just because she's different doesn't mean she can't shine using the strengths she possesses. And the post is an excellent resource for those who may be a little uncertain or even afraid about finding out their child has autism.

When I am once again told "She doesn't act like she has autism" (because it will be said again), I'll be able to smile and reply that autism is only one part of who she is, and her strengths outshine her limitations.

Spring is here! And with
it a new, fresh look here at
A Mommy Story

The background is in
purple in memory and
honor of Maddie

The header is from
the tree in my front yard - the
blossoms are lovely.

Walking out into the sunshine today, my mood was lifted just by feeling the sun on my skin and the cool breeze on my skin. It wasn't warm enough for short-sleeves, but it felt great.

I realized that it's been April now for over a week and I still had a photo of snow as my header. It was time for a change, and I think the new colors reflect the season well.


To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What's a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

Today is one of those days I don't even want to venture outside into the sunshine and face other people. Because how can you explain to them that your eyes are red and you're fighting back tears because an "online friend who you've never met" (yet) has lost her young child?

For those who don't read The Spohrs are Multiplying, little Maddie passed away unexpectedly last night after being admitted to the hospital for respiratory problems. I know how sick and heartbroken I feel about it, so I can't imagine the pain that Heather and her husband are going through right now.


Maddie was a preemie who endured several ups and downs throughout her 17 months, yet nearly every photo of her showed a bright, smiling child so incredibly full of life and happy with what she had. It is impossible to look at a photo of Maddie and not smile at her beautiful grin and the mischevous twinkle in her eye. Mira - only a few months older than Maddie - has often pointed and smiled at Maddie's photos, one of only a few online children that Mira takes an interest in during my blog reading.

It doesn't matter that Heather is an online friend. Whether we know her in person or only through her writing, her pain is still shared by so many of us, and her loss affects us all. She made so much of her life with Maddie available to us that it's hard to not feel like they're next door neighbors.

Hug your children a little tighter today as you remember Maddie and keep her family in your thoughts. The family has asked that any help be in the form of donations to March of Dimes and I'm hoping we can push her walk donations over the $10K mark.

As I mentioned last week, I'll be walking in the Columbus March of Dimes walk at the end of this month. I'm sad that I have a new reason for my walk, and I've added myself to Maddie's team to help raise more money in her name.

You'll be missed, Maddie. All my love and strength to your family as they endure this difficult time.

I'm sure you probably weren't waiting all weekend to find out how I did on my exam, but in case you were curious, I passed! And if I might brag (which I can, seeing how this is my blog), I passed by quite a bit. 95th percentile. That makes me feel a lot more relaxed about taking my license exam this summer, since the questions are very similar.

In fitness news, the whole Hot by BlogHer plan is still going strong for me. I'm down 8 pounds total for March, and while it doesn't feel like much, thanks to the 30 Day Shred I know that I am getting stronger and smaller. Apparently I have a waist again. And my hips have shed a few inches.

(However, let's all have a moment of silence for my C cup boobs. They had a pretty good run, mostly thanks to two pregnancies and children, but sensing their unemployment might be long-standing, they were forced to turn in their surplus for the greater good. B cup bra shopping, here I come.)

I'm still using the 30 Day Shred DVD and My Fitness Coach. I've moved to Level 2 of the shred, and while the first day left me on the floor with my feet elevated to bring some blood flow back to my lightheaded brain, I've managed to make it through Level 2 without dying.

However, my knees are getting progressively worse, so I'm limiting the shred to only once or twice a week now. I decided that it might be fun to try some of The Biggest Loser workouts, and lucky for me Time Warner has them on-demand right now.

My first new workout was Level 1 of Cardio Max with Bob. First impression: loved it! Bob is very different from Jillian. He's goofy, he runs up to the camera and talks to it, and his workout has fewer jumping motions. My knees still hurt, but now I don't feel the need to reach for the ibuprofen bottle right after the workout. In fact, after I finished my first Cardio Max workout, I felt great and wondered if maybe it was too easy?

The next morning, however, I felt the results of that workout. Who knew it was possible to overtrain your butt? My butt and the upper back of my thighs burned with every step. And yet the only thing I could think of was Hey, cool, my ass will be smaller!

So I'm going to keep up my mix of activities. Over at the Shredheads blog, participants have split into Team Bob and Team Jillian, but I'm holding firm with a foot in each camp. I can't commit to one style - I appreciate Jillian's disciplined approach, and I also love Bob's more gentle, warm&fuzzy approach. The current plan:

- work out 5x a week
- lots of water
- Weight Watchers for diet

I'll do another round of photos mid-month to document any further changes. While my first comparision photos were dramatic, I doubt the next ones will be quite as dramatic. But I'm still hoping to rock a sundress in July. With a push-up bra, of course.

I've been MIA
these past few days because of
major test stress

Today at noon I
will take a comprehensive
graduation test.

If I pass, I will
be able to graduate
nursing school in June.

(That is assuming
I pass my class this quarter
also - not a prob.)

Please wish me luck - I'm
a little stressed, and hope I
can pass the first time.

The test I'm taking at noon is called the HESI, and it's a comprehensive nursing exam that is required for graduation. I also have a class this quarter, too, but I'm not all that worried about passing it, because this exam is far more threatening. Imagine needing to have two full years of medical information crammed into your head, with the possibility of any detail being brought up on an exam question. Yeah, you can see how I'm a little nervous.

Of course, one reason we have to take this exam is to prepare for taking the NCLEX exam after graduation. (The NCLEX is also known as "boards" or the licensure exam so we can officially be RNs.) The two tests are very similar, and passing this with a high score generally implies you'll do well on the NCLEX, too. I have three tries to pass it, but I'd rather pass it on the first try and then focus on other concerns for the next 10 weeks.

Hopefully I'll pass this exam, and be less neurotic and more capable of writing interesting sentences next week. If you don't hear from me by Monday, well...send chocolate and good alcohol.


To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What's a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON'T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!