Archives for January 2010

2010: Now This Is More Like It

I wanted 2010 to be the year of everything awesome. And so far, it’s not too bad. In fact, today kind of feels as far from 2009 as it could possibly be.

After a year and a half of unemployment (aside from a four-month contract job), Aaron started a new job today. It’s only a three-month contract for now, but the plan is to hire him on as a full employee at the end of the contract. Basically, the contract is his trial period. His first day went well: the job is creative and challenging and his coworkers are friendly and welcoming. I’m hoping it works out and he’ll be happy with his work.

As a result of his new job, we had to juggle our childcare situation. Aaron will be working traditional office hours, and while I work nights, we still need someone to cover on the days when I’ve worked and need to sleep. Cordy’s in school full-time, but Mira had only been in preschool two half-days a week.

So today Mira went back to her school, but into a new classroom. She’s attending three full days a week now, giving me a chance to sleep more, and giving Mira what she wants – the chance to spend more time at school. (The other days will be covered by a friend and family.) At two-and-a-half, Cordy hated being outside of the house, and would have fought going to preschool each day. But Mira, our little socialite, loves school and would complain when we picked her up each day.

I worried that a full day schedule might be too much, even for Mira, but when I picked her up at 5:15pm, she responded to seeing me with, “I don’t wanna go home.” Apparently she had a fantastic day, and is thrilled to go back again tomorrow. All is well with the changes in her schedule.

OK, nothing much has changed for Cordy. Other than she will now be sent home with homework starting this week. Homework? In pre-K? School has changed a lot since I was a kid.

As for myself, I’ve got a few days off right now and I’m finding myself happy to be more involved in directly caring for my girls again. Since starting work, I’ve been on the periphery at home, with Aaron taking on the bulk of childcare while I have waffled back and forth between being a day walker and a child of the night. Adjusting my schedule back and forth is terribly hard, leaving me feeling like a shell of myself at home with my family.

But with Aaron working now, I have to step up and force myself to be more involved again – and I like it. I like being the one preparing lunch, doing the school drop-off routine, reading with Cordy, playing games with both girls, etc. I missed doing all of that. Well, maybe not all of it, but a lot of it. We’ll see how things go once I’m back to work later this week. I hope I’ll be able to find some inner strength to be everything to everyone without cracking.

Even our house got a little update today. Thanks to an awesome Black Friday deal, we got a new microwave. Our current one is on a little stand taking up way too much room, and I wanted something above-the-range so I could replace that little stand with a pantry. Today, part one of that plan was accomplished:

Before:

Um, yeah, ignore the mess around the range.

After:

Shiny! Pretty!

So yeah, let’s keep 2010 moving right along on this positive wave, OK?



Guinea Pig, Part Two: For Reals This Time!

Just before Christmas, Cordy finished the first ten week segment of the clinical research trial I took a gamble on earlier in the fall. The study offered us the chance at parent training in behavior modification and/or a medication that can help attention-deficit symptoms in children with autism. In our case, we were randomly selected for the medication-only group, not knowing if we had the actual medication or a placebo.

At the end of ten weeks, the results were less than encouraging. Cordy’s behavior was practically unchanged. Still unfocused. Still unstoppable energy. Still struggling to finish a task without becoming distracted. But there were a few small changes that showed a glimmer of hope. In that ten week period, she stopped hitting herself, and although she switched to verbally abusing herself instead, it was still an improvement. We also noticed a slight decrease in the amount of “flapping” she does, too.

So did we have the medication? If we had the medication, I felt it was a big, fat failure. I mean, I wasn’t expecting miracles in a pill. I knew it could help calm Cordy and help her focus so she could accomplish more, but I knew it wouldn’t turn her into a typical kid. But I was expecting a little more than a couple of stray behavior changes.

At our last meeting, the doctors in the study looked through all of the data and determined Cordy was a non-responder. As a result, the seal was broken to find out the truth: it was the placebo.

I was a little disappointed that I forced Cordy to go to weekly visits, endure two blood draws (not fun for anyone involved) and take a lot of pills for no benefit. But honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Cordy quickly loved going to “the office” as she called it. She loved “her work” and the student assistants who work there became her willing slaves. All of the staff have been incredibly kind to her. While at each meeting, she was given an unlimited supply of organic fruit snacks, animal crackers, juice, toys, markers and adoring fans. Hell, I kinda wish I got all that stuff instead of a big stack of papers to fill out each week.

But it doesn’t end there. That was just part one of the study. Knowing that she was on the placebo, we are now entering the open-label phase of the study, allowing her to start all over with the actual medication this time. (Those who were on the medication in phase one are allowed to continue on the medication for phase-two.) The dose will be increased ever-so-slowly and we’ll watch her closely for any improvements as well as any side-effects.

I’m back to being excited at the possibilities and yet again a little nervous about medicating my daughter. Only this time I know for certain it’s the real thing. We’ll see what happens.

To end on a cute note: I was told by Cordy’s teachers today that all of the boys in her class are in love with her. Not just love her – are actively IN LOVE with her. They’ve been back from winter break for just two days now, and apparently the boys pester Cordy all day with, “Do you still like me, Cordy?” She’s the queen of the classroom, with five little boys willing to do anything for her. I love that about her – despite her social difficulties, she has an aura that attracts people to her, even without trying or encouraging them in any way. It’s an amazing gift to have.

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