You Take The Good, You Take The Bad, You Take Them Both and Then You Have…

…a lot of suck if you’re us.

(What? You were expecting Facts of Life?)

As usual, things were going far too well to last. I have a new job I love, Aaron really liked his job, and Cordy was on the list for three different schools we liked for kindergaten.

And then we got word early last week that in our school system’s lottery, Cordy didn’t get into any of the schools we wanted for her. None, including her current one. We were disappointed, but we also felt like we still had options. With both of us working, we could consider private school if we had to.

And then Aaron was told in the middle of the week that the volume of work was looking slow for his company, and while they’d love to keep him, there’s just not enough work to go around, and to consider himself laid off as of May 7. He was devastated. Not only about losing a job, but losing a job he really liked, one he planed to stay with for some time to come.

You could argue at this point that we’re cursed. The thought has crossed my mind from time to time. Or you could point out that disappointment is just a learning experience in life. In which case, I think I’ve now got my Bachelors in Life by now, and I’m really OK with not pursuing the PhD.

I was upset by all the bad news last week. It didn’t seem fair – we were making plans to pay off debt and finally get ahead for once. We were prepared to pay for private school to make sure Cordy could get the best education despite her autism. And now our plans have come to a halt again.

I’m not letting myself dwell in disappointment for too long. I don’t have time for that. Aaron will find another job, and hopefully he will enjoy it as much or more than his previous one. I’m a little worried about being without health insurance (again) – my job is a contract, and we had planned that he would get benefits by the end of May. That plan is no longer valid, so we’ll have to look into private plans, because $1700 for COBRA is, well, outrageous.

As for Cordy, I had a little talk with the school district and she will now be allowed to stay at her current school for next year. I had to pull out her IEP and argue on the basis of consistency to make sure her name was on the list, but it worked. (OK, I feel a little guilty at using her special needs to force a spot, but it’s for her good, so why not let it help us for once?)

And the debt we planned to pay off, the home improvements we planned to save for, etc.? It will all happen on a slower timeline now, or in some cases will be put on hold to wait for better times. I won’t dwell on the negative, because that gets us nowhere. Far better to focus my energy on finding new opportunities and plan for the next time the stars align in our favor again.

The facts of our life? Karma seems to enjoy teasing us, but I’ll continue to smile back in response.

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  1. I’m so sorry that the cloud is over at your house… we have a saying in ours: “Don’t ask what else can happen, because God’s listening and you may not like his answer!”

    As far as using Cordy’s IEP, don’t sweat it. And at least you have her in a school that you’re familiar with.

  2. Tami Pearson says:

    hang in there sister!

  3. I’m glad you were able to come up with a solution that keeps some consistency for Cordy at least. May a good job and health insurance come soon!

  4. I lost my job at the first of the year and now stay home with our two kids. But we have found a quote that has inspired us.

    “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -Joseph Campbell

    With this I am starting up a new business that is about to launch and I get to spend lots of quality time with my kids.

  5. That sucks. Your family has been through so much!

    Keeping my fingers crossed that a great job comes Aaron’s way and that you all find a great school situation fr Cordy.

  6. So sorry this is all happening! Don’t feel guilty for a second about using the IEP to keep Cordy at her school. You are just making sure she gets what she needs. No shame in that!

  7. Oh hang in there! This too will pass. Trite, but it does!

    As for using Cordy’s IEP…um that’s why they write them down – so that everyone is on the same page about what the child’s needs are and if new people come into the scene, it’s known! Do not ever hesitate to use her IEP to advocate for her needs. If you don’t advocate for Cordy, who will?

  8. MN RN Mom says:

    Good grief – must have been the week! My husband’s temp-to-hire became a temp-to-layoff position with only 48 hrs notice. They liked his work, but couldn’t afford to keep him. Back to square one. Fighting to get my daughter into kindergarten at this point (born 48 hrs after the cutoff deadline) and I’m looking for a new job. Good luck and hang in there. You are a great mom and wife, stay strong!

  9. Pulling out the IEP was the right thing to do. That’s part of the reason they have them, and particularly with her background, the need for consistency is a viable argument.

  10. You shouldn’t feel bad at all for using whatever you had to in order to keep Cordy at her school for next year, given the other options. There’s always some wiggle room once you talk to a real person as opposed to “the system”‘s answer.

  11. Honey, don’t ever feel bad about claiming special needs as a reason for inclusion, anywhere. This is why federal law tells states what to do in education, and your rights are just as important as that of every other kid entitled to an education.

  12. I’m sorry about the job. We went through that recently, and managed to be really blessed with another job very quickly. But it’s really hard and can be scary. So, my thoughts are with you guys.

    As for Cordy, I am glad you got her into the school for next year. I wouldn’t feel bad about pulling her IEP or arguing what you did. I think that it’s a legitimate point!

  13. DO NOT feel guilty for using your daughter’s IEP to get her into/keep her at a school that is appropriate for her!!
    I hope your husband finds a new, enjoyable job soon!

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