The sales this year promised some amazing deals. And most of them required you to stand out in the rain and cold for half of Thanksgiving if you wanted any chance at the hot doorbuster items. Seems like a lot of suffering for a cheap waffle maker.

Me? I waited for a total of 20 minutes combined at all of the stores I went to. I don't mess around on Black Friday.

First, I took advantage of Black Friday online deals. Why wait until Cyber Monday when many of the same Black Friday doorbuster deals are available online on Thanksgiving day? At 6am I scored a new laptop at an incredible discount to replace Aaron's broken laptop, all from the comfort of my computer desk. (And with convenient local store pickup!) I had to click quickly, as they sold out in less than five minutes, but it worked.

On Friday, when the checkout line for Kohl's wrapped to the back of the store, I briefly considered not buying the new clothing my two growing kids needed. But then a sales associate announced that anyone who signed up for a Kohl's card that day could go to the front of the line. Bingo. I was out the door quickly. I've been waiting for the right time to sign up for a card, and the right time presented itself.

We also didn't shop for a lot of the big ticket items. The Xbox 360 bundle was hot this year, but we wanted the deal on the Wii as a gift for my aunt. Aaron did have to wait a little for that one at Walmart, but not too long. Everyone else wanted the TVs and Xbox bundles.

But my top score of the shopping weekend? A new mattress. (Exciting, no?) Macy's had a mattress set for $249, normally $850. My lumpy mattress has been a constant source of back pain and poor sleep for quite some time. So I was in line when the doors opened at midnight for that one, and made sure I was the first to the mattress department. It's a lovely mattress with a great warranty and I can't wait to sleep on it.

I honestly hate the crowds and the frenzy of Black Friday, but I do appreciate the deep discounts on items I'm looking for. The key is to stick to the sale items, and really think about what you need versus what the hype is telling you to buy. We bought a few gifts and a few must-have items for our house that we were already planning to buy, and we saved well over $1200 compared to what we would have paid for these same items if they weren't on sale.

Which means when it comes to Black Friday shopping, I think I can safely say I won.

Anyone else get any great deals online or in the store this weekend?

To everyone in the US, I hope you're having a fantastic Thanksgiving.

Today, I'm thankful that Aaron and I have jobs and thanks to his new job, we have health insurance. I'm thankful that we have enough to cover our needs and some of our wants. I'm thankful for friends, both close by and those close only in heart from our connection across the Internet.

But mostly, I'm thankful for these people:




My husband and my daughters are my heart. They guide each decision I make and provide worth to everything I do. I treasure every hug and kiss.

What are you thankful for tonight?

(PS - And I'm thankful for my friend Heather, who has the magic touch at capturing my family in photos.)

I completely missed my blog's anniversary yesterday. Whoops. Yesterday marked six years since I decided LiveJournal was so 2004 and abandoned it in favor of my own independent blog.

What do I get myself for a blog anniversary? Wikipedia says the sixth anniversary gifts are iron, sugar or wood, depending on which chart you use. I'm holding out for my seventh anniversary: wool. In November, a nice wool sweater or socks would be lovely.

Instead, this year I gave myself a little bit of nostalgia. I read back through some of my old blog posts and laughed at how much I forgot. Thank goodness I wrote it all down - there are so many incredible stories of my daughters that I never would have remembered without my little corner of the Internet.

Oh, how I miss those curls on Cordy...


Six years ago I had one cranky toddler, worked part-time at a university, and weighed about 50 pounds more than I do now. In some ways I was happier - I had more free time, mostly - but in other ways I see how much we were struggling with the adjustment to being parents and the financial strains we were under.

So much was different then. Mira wasn't even a thought yet. Autism was just something I connected with the movie Rain Man. I had yet to start nursing school. Aaron still had long hair. And I still felt like a rookie mom, both overconfident and unsure of everything, all at the same time.

As I read through my archives, I see how much motherhood has changed me in six years. I'm fighting harder than ever for a better life for my kids. Tolerance for others, the environment, healthier foods, equality, health care, civil rights...it all matters more to me now. Being a special needs mom has also changed my outlook on so many things: that grumpy, strong-willed toddler from the start of this blog is now a charming, beautiful, autistic girl who depends on me to fight for her to get the services she needs to help her cope with this world, as well as understanding from others who may first try to dismiss her due to her autism.

But on this Thanksgiving eve, I'm especially thankful that I started this blog. Coping with all of the changes we've gone through would not have been as easy without this space to write it all out, and the friends I've made through this blog who have been my support when I felt like giving up on everything. The community of moms I've met through blogging has been fantastic - along with my close "real-life" friends, many of my blog friends and commenters have been my shoulders to lean on, my place to turn for advice, and (I hope) I've been able to be the same for them as well.

If you have some time, browse the archives. There are some fantastic and funny posts hidden in there. And some adorable photos of Cordy and Mira, too.

So for all of you still reading, thank you. I'm thankful for having this space to share my life with all of you, and for the friendship and community you've shared with me.

Life has been a little hectic around here. With my third shift schedule, Aaron's new job that has him out of town some days and working from home other days, and the crazy school bus schedules that our daughters endure, we often only have 1-2 hours at most during the evening where we are together as a family. Of course, most of the time I'm too busy to let it get to me, but then there are times I find myself missing my family and wishing we could spend more time together.

So this last weekend, we ran away. Or more precisely, we spent three days forgetting about homework and deadlines and schedules and instead focused on creating some memories at Great Wolf Lodge.

We've been to the Great Wolf Lodge in Cincinnati a few times and always look forward to going back. The indoor waterpark and resort is perfect for when you don't have the time/money for a full vacation, but still want a mini-vacation atmosphere.

This year's trip was yet again more awesome than the last. Shortly after we arrived, there was a knock at our door and we were presented with bottles of water and a complimentary bag of their caramel-chocolate popcorn as a thanks for being a repeat visitor. The popcorn was devoured before the weekend was over, but in that moment the kids were more focused on getting out of the room to play MagiQuest. (It's kind of like a Harry Potter-type game for kids, with magic wands that do all kinds of neat things through the entire lodge.)

Hooray, treasure!

Saturday morning was our first visit to the waterpark, and I was surprised how much Cordy and Mira had matured since we were last there. Both were fairly scared of the water last year, requiring a lot of coaxing and gradual introduction to the wave pool and the itty-bitty water slides. (And a lot of anxiety involving any deep water.)

This year, life jackets securely on, Cordy went straight to the wave pool and ran right in, with Mira only a few steps behind her. They both tackled the intermediate water slides. (Cordy was too big for the little slides, and still unwilling to try the big ones.) They even practiced trying to swim, with Aaron and I just in reach. I was so impressed that Cordy could handle being in the water so well.

In fact, Cordy was a little too self-confident about her abilities. At one point, she disappeared from my view - it was really just a few seconds - and when I spotted her again she was about 20 feet from me in the deeper section of the wave pool, unable to touch the ground, flailing and calling for help. As I tried to get to her quickly, the lifeguard dove in and a teen boy who was less than an arm's reach from her, well, reached out his arm and grabbed her with little effort. She wasn't in any danger thanks to her life jacket, but it was good to know how quickly the staff reacts. (And that teen was the hero among his friends for "saving" her.)

Note to self: sign Cordy up for swimming lessons. And keep that life jacket on her for now.

But other than that one moment, the waterpark was perfect and we couldn't have had more fun. (I have no photos of the waterpark - I know myself well enough to not take electronics around water.)

Aside from swimming, we played more MagiQuest.

"I command you to speak, tin man!"

And had plenty of snacks.


The kids got wolf ears with their lunches.

She was trying to look awake.

And enjoyed downtime in their own little "kid cabin" inside our room.


We were sad to leave Great Wolf Lodge on Sunday. Mira was weepy the rest of the day because she didn't want to be back at home. Or maybe she was tired, since she barely slept the entire weekend. All I know is she slept eleven hours straight on Sunday night, and then still fell asleep in the car on the way to preschool Monday morning.

While it wasn't a full-out vacation, it still wasn't cheap for our budget, so we probably won't be doing this again until next year. However, I think the memories we have from the weekend make it all worth the money. Well, all of the money except for the three pay-per-view PBS Kids episodes Cordy charged to the room by accident. Apparently the pay-per-view menu is just as easy to navigate on the remote control as our Tivo menu at home, only these episodes cost $3.99 a piece. Oops.

And now back to the daily grind.


Note: This is not a review post. We love Great Wolf Lodge and paid for the entire trip on our own. (You're welcome to view my credit card bill if you'll agree to help pay it.) Although if Great Wolf ever wants to invite us back to the lodge on their tab, we will have our swimsuits ready to go on short notice.



No one likes to admit they have dandruff. Avoiding dark colored shirts so no one sees the flakes settling on your shoulders, instinctively leaning away when that special someone wants to run their hands through your hair, trying to look as if you're just lost in thought as you sneak in a quick scratch of your scalp...some of us will try anything to hide the secret in our hair.

I've suffered from occasional dandruff and an itchy scalp, a problem I've had since I was a kid. I have very sensitive skin, and nearly any hair product I try results in a reaction, leading to more dandruff and itching. I was mortified with this as a teen, and I did anything in my power to keep others from finding out. I was the queen of white t-shirts and sweaters.

Over time, I found I could minimize the problem by regularly switching up my shampoos and conditioners. If I use one product for more than a few shampoos, the dandruff flares up quickly, so I started a routine of rotating 3-4 shampoos each week, with at least one of those being designed to remove build-up or work directly on dandruff. But even the dandruff shampoos didn't help much, and I didn't like the strong smell from them or how they made my hair feel afterward.

I was recently asked to try the new Head & Shoulders Eucalyptus Itchy Scalp Care products to see if they would make a difference on my sensitive head. I've heard good things about eucalyptus being used in beauty products to calm sensitive skin, so I thought it was worth a try.

How does it work? According to Head & Shoulders, dandruff is caused by a combination of factors, namely the presence of scalp oils, the fungus Malassezia globosa (lovely, right?), and what scientists call a susceptibility to skin irritation (or a reaction to the presence of the fungus). The Eucalyptus Itchy Scalp Care products have combined the effectiveness of their HydraZinc formula with fresh, naturally inspired fragrances, including almond oil, eucalyptus and aloe vera to alleviate dryness, itchiness and sensitivity, leaving your hair beautifully flake free.

For my test, I made the choice to use only the new products for an entire week. No switching between shampoos - I wanted to get the best idea of how well it works on my long, fine hair and itchy scalp. Would it weigh down my hair and leave it limp? Would it stop the itch?

When I first poured the shampoo into my hand, I recognized the thick white consistency of a Head & Shoulders product. I wondered how well it would lather, but surprisingly it produced plenty of lather with little effort. The smell was pleasant and the eucalyptus produced a slightly cool, tingling feeling across my scalp. (Not bad at all-actually kinda nice!) It rinsed out easily. The conditioner was slightly thicker, although the smell wasn't as nice as the shampoo. I followed the directions on the bottle and then rinsed my hair.

The result? After the first wash, I styled my hair as normal. I was wowed at how soft and silky my hair felt! The weather is just starting to get cold here in Ohio, which usually means static-filled hair for me, but my hair was incredibly soft with no hint of static. At the same time, it felt light and had plenty of volume - no heavy coating at all.

As for relieving the itch? Yep, it did the job. No itch at all that day, or the next. Along with no itch, I also didn't notice any flakes on my shoulders-probably helped by the fact that I wasn't scratching my head all day long!

The next shampooing had the same result, as did the one after that. I'm still impressed at how soft my hair is, and my scalp feels revived and fresh. I still have the occasional itch, but it's much, much better than I'd normally be after a week of the same shampoo. And the dandruff is about 90% less as well. It hasn't cured everything, but it's certainly made my hair and scalp a lot easier to deal with!

I'm hoping Head & Shoulders Eucalyptus Itchy Scalp Care will be The One for me, and I can ditch my carousel of revolving shampoos and conditioners for a single set of products. So far I'm thrilled with the results and feel confident about the upcoming holiday season - maybe I'll even wear my cute black dress without fear of flakes falling on it?

Giveaway!

How do you change your beauty routine in the colder winter season from the warmer seasons? Leave me a comment to be entered for a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card from BlogHer.

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On Monday, Mira came home from school and immediately pulled a bag of potato chips from her backpack. When I asked her where the chips had come from, she told me her teachers gave them to her at lunch because they had extras in her class. Her preschool class has lunch brought up to their room from the school cafeteria, so they often have leftovers that Mira happily takes advantage of, even though she has a packed lunch each day.

Potato chips are one of the few things she brings home as leftovers, but I hear about the other things she occasionally eats when her class has extra food. French fries, pizzas, flavored applesauce, nachos - these are all regular school lunches served to little kids?

The answer is yes, they are, and if Congress gets its way, they will remain the staples of the American school kid's diet for some time to come. Despite the USDA pushing for healthier school lunches, Congress has released a spending bill that rolls back the new standards to cater to special interest lobbyists in the food industry who insist that kids don't need less salt and processed foods in their diets, and that two tablespoons of tomato paste on a pizza would be perfectly acceptable as a serving of vegetables.

(We'll forget for a moment that tomatoes are actually a fruit.)

It's horrifying to read that article and realize what our elected officials consider acceptable for a school lunch. Whole grains are considered unnecessary. Processed foods and cheap, artificial food-like products reign supreme in the lunchrooms.

Beyond the lobbying, some claim that the government shouldn't tell children what to eat, which is ridiculous when food standards have been around for decades. But by not providing proper guidelines on what constitutes a nutritious school lunch, Congress is still telling children what to eat, and the message they are sending is that your kids aren't worth better food.

For many underprivileged children, a public school lunch is their best chance at one complete, nutritious meal all day long. One chance each day to have proper nutrition. Some possibly get a school breakfast as well. And our elected officials offer them nothing but processed junk high in fat, sodium and sugar. Pizza as a serving of vegetables. (Don't forget the *breakfast* pizza served each morning, too!) We should be ashamed that this is the best we can offer to our most vulnerable in the United States.

I'm thankful that Aaron and I have the time and resources to prepare lunches for Cordy and Mira each day. Our daughters aren't limited by the choices available to them in the cafeteria, and have parents who are actively involved in finding better foods for them. As a result they benefit from better nutrition, especially Cordy, who can't tolerate artificial food additives. I can't imagine how much worse her behavior would be if she had to eat school food each day.

Before anyone tries to knock me down from my pedestal, I should take a moment to pause here and point out that my family is far from being a model for perfect nutrition. After all, we ordered pizza last night for dinner and we love McDonald's now and then, too. And we always need more vegetables.

However, we try to keep a balance of healthy foods in their diets. Both girls have packed lunches that consist of whole grains, real fruit and cheese, peanut butter (that is only made from peanuts & nothing more), and water, 100% juice or plain milk to drink. 

But they're the lucky ones - what about the kids who are at the mercy of the school cafeteria line each day? The ones who regularly depend on those potato chips for their nutrition? Who's there to advocate for whole grains and fresh produce for them? Who's speaking up to insist that we raise the bar on the necessary requirements for a nutritious lunch? It's not the American Frozen Food Institute, that's for certain. And it's not their friends in Congress, either.

I genuinely had high hopes that the USDA would be able to create some real change in the way we feed our school-aged children in this country, even if that change was small. Any change for the better is at least a start. Now I'm left more disappointed than ever at the corruption in our political system and the politicians who claim they care about our children, but really only care about their corporate donors and dollars.Why strive for quality when there's big bucks to be made serving up the cheapest food materials possible?

It's no wonder so many conservative politicians are against national health care - they don't want to pay for the obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure they are actively helping to create by profiting at the expense of our children's future. If I was actively working to create a generation of fat, disease-stricken citizens like they are I'd try to avoid the issue, too. Hell, they're probably investing all of their money in the pharmaceutical industry right now, knowing what's ahead for these kids and anxiously awaiting the profits they'll make from all the medications these kids will need.

It's no secret why this country is facing a health crisis. Part of the answer can be found right in our schools, where we're creating our national health crisis one substandard school lunch at a time. 

Our kids are worth more than this. They deserve better than two tablespoons of tomato paste and salty, high-fat, processed lunches each day.

Consider this a follow-up to my previous post about advertising.

We have a reward system in our house for good behavior, and the girls can save up their points to trade in for extra TV time, dessert, dinner out, or a toy. Everything has different values and they're encouraged to save for items they really want.

I've been pretty lenient with the requests Cordy and Mira have had for items they've seen on TV. Cordy really wanted a Happy Napper after seeing the commercials for it, so she saved up her points for two weeks (with a lot of helping out with chores and good behavior to earn as many as possible) and traded them all in for a ladybug Happy Napper. I think she's happy with her choice, although I was expecting some letdown afterward.

They're allowed to make bad choices with their points. Better to learn now what is worth saving up for and what is a disappointment before they start using real money without any guidance from us. And there will be a time when they'll get excited about a commercial and buy the toy, only to find it not nearly as exciting as the commercial made it out to be.

However, there are limits. We've seen this commercial on the Hub network for the past week:



 

They will never have enough points to get this. And they've been informed that Santa's elves are unable to make this particular game.

I don't care how much Cordy or Mira beg, I draw the line at a pooping dog game.

I'll buy them a real puppy first.

Have you ever told your child that it was impossible to buy something for them just because you did not want it in your house?

Some days, being a parent is more like being a detective. Trying to find the truth between wildly different accounts of a situation can take a lot of time and effort, and in the end you're still not sure if you know what really happened.

Last week was one of those situations.

It started on Thursday around 1pm when I was jolted awake by my cell phone. Since I work nights, I ask that no one call my cell during the day unless one of my children is hurt or I just won a million dollars. I answered the call and Cordy's school nurse was on the other end. She said that Cordy had been knocked down by accident during recess and had a scratch on her arm, but it wasn't bad. Cordy had been pretty upset about it, though, so they let her spend some time in the nurse's office before sending her back to class.

I didn't understand why a small scratch on her arm warranted a call home, but whatever. I went back to sleep quickly.

When Cordy came home that day, she wanted some computer time right when she walked in the door. As I sat with her at the computer, I asked to see the scratch on her arm - there was barely a mark there. But I noticed she was talking oddly, without moving her upper lip. A closer look revealed that her upper lip was split in the middle and swollen. The school nurse didn't mention this?

I asked her what happened to her lip, and she didn't want to tell me at first. But then the story came out: two boys came up to her in the field at recess and knocked her down. One sat on her while the other threw a kickball in her face. She said they both laughed at her and called her "weird" and that they've thrown things at her before.

I made her repeat the story to me several times that night. Unlike when she makes up stories, the details didn't change and there were more details than she usually tells. She gave us their names. She told us she was afraid of them. And she insisted they called her weird and laughed at her.

You can imagine how furious I was. Just as I sat down to write an email to her teachers, an email arrived from her special needs teacher. In giving us the details of Cordy's day, she mentioned the incident, although the details were different. She said Cordy claimed she was hit and was very upset, but the recess teachers saw it and it appeared to be an accident. There was no mention of the split lip, only the scratch on her arm.

I replied to her email and gave her Cordy's version of the story. I said I couldn't understand how accidentally knocking someone down could result in a split lip, or why Cordy would claim they laughed at her at called her weird. I mentioned that this sounded to me like bullying and I wanted it looked into further.

The response I received the next day provided an even more detailed view of the incident. Her teacher said that a group of kids - including Cordy - had been involved in a lot of play fighting during the week and it had become more rough each day. The teachers had told them to tone it down. Other kids had complained that Cordy was hitting them with her coat. Cordy's teacher said she spoke with the boys and believes the play fighting may have accidentally become too real.

And then she said that she also spoke to Cordy and advised her to play around the playground equipment and not with the kids out in the field.

So now I'm left to piece all of it together. I believe the adults - Cordy was probably play fighting. I asked her about hitting other kids with her coat, and she said she did it only because they were doing it to her first. I'm not so blinded by love for my kid that I'm unwilling to admit she'd ever do anything wrong. We had a discussion about why it's not OK to hurt someone just because they hurt you first, and I expect her to apologize to the kids she swung her coat at.

But I also believe what happened to Cordy was real. I don't think she was knocked down on accident, and whether it was play fighting or not, she still ended up with a split lip and deserves at least an apology from those boys. I also believe that they called her weird and laughed at her. There's no reason for her to make up something like that. Whether they were saying it "in pretend" or not, it's still hurtful and should never be said to someone. Getting away with it now could lead to them thinking it's OK in the future. I don't want to aide a child on his first step towards becoming a bully.

So where's the truth? It's somewhere in between, but the more information I'm given, the more confused I become. I like Cordy's teachers and her school, and want to believe them, but I also want to believe my daughter. Her part in the rough play at recess has been dealt with by us. But if she feels like she's being bullied, it needs to be addressed. (And why didn't anyone notice her swollen, cracked-open upper lip?) I hope there are programs in place to address bullying and the importance of accepting differences, and if not there need to be, even at the first grade level.

I was bullied as a kid for being different. I know how painful it is to feel like you can't be yourself without someone ridiculing you, but even if you try to be someone else you still can't ever fit in. Any self-esteem I had when I started elementary school was slowly shredded to pieces by junior high. Even things I should have been proud of - like being academically gifted - were marks of shame to hide once the bullies had their way with me. I never want Cordy to suffer what I went through.

Cordy is gradually coming to the understanding that she's different. We're gently introducing the topic of autism to her, framing it in a way to highlight the positive differences as well as the areas she struggles with that other kids may find easy. She still isn't self-aware enough yet to completely get it, but hopefully the self-esteem building is getting through to her if nothing else is.

We are also teaching her that there are lots of other ways to be different, too. Some kids are great at sports, others can't use their legs and require a wheelchair, and some kids just look very different from their classmates. All of these things make them different, but just as valuable and loved as any other kid. But hate, prejudice, and discrimination are not differences to value, and should never be tolerated.

For now I plan to keep an open communication with Cordy about this topic, making sure that no one else is calling her names and that she feels safe in her class. I'm sure we'll discuss it more at the upcoming parent-teacher conferences as well.

Sigh...and people said the baby years were hard. Ha ha ha. Playing the role of Detective Mom has me in far more unpleasant situations than ever faced by even the worst blow-out diaper.

Oh sure, you might have thought you were getting a blog post from me today, but you're not.

Instead you get this:

Pirate princess

And this:
Pink petal princess

And this:

Ready for trick or treat on Halloween


Revel in the cuteness and expect a real post in another day or so.

Or you can go visit my other blogs where I'm giving away Naturalizer shoes and Sephora gift cards.