Our Friendly Neighborhood Santa

I wanted to write about all that has been going on in my head the past several days. About the heartbreaking tragedy of Newtown, Connecticut. About my anger over the media trying to (wrongly) link Aspergers and autism to violent behavior. About my own daughter with autism, and how she is so afraid of violence she won’t even watch Harry Potter because she can’t deal with the idea of Harry’s parents being killed.

But...I can’t. It’s too much to process right now.

So instead, I’ll share with you a happy story, about two little girls who got to walk to Santa’s house to meet him and have a snack with him.

One of our neighbors is a professional Santa, and his wife dresses up as Mrs. Claus. He lives one street over, and we see him occasionally throughout the year. He’s clean shaven from January thru late Spring, then begins growing the beard back in for the holidays.

This year they sent invites to the neighborhood to come to Santa’s house for milk and cookies one Sunday afternoon. Their house is always well-decorated for Christmas, including an extra mailbox for letters to Santa. The invite was to all kids to come to Santa’s house and meet with him.

Our kids were confused as to how Santa could live in our neighborhood. We explained that Santa has lots of homes all over the world, and visits each of them often so he can keep an eye on all of the good little boys and girls in that area. When he’s not there, he has helpers who keep up the house for him. For two little girls who love Santa, that was an easy story to buy into.

So we took them to our neighbor’s open house, and we were greeted at the door by Santa. Cordy and Mira were stunned into silence for only a moment, before bursting through the door and telling Santa how much they liked his decorations. Mrs. Claus then appeared and guided the girls into the kitchen to pick out some cookies and snacks.

We chatted a little bit while other families arrived. Then Santa sat down in his chair and invited the kids to come talk with him. Each took their turn telling him what they’ve been up to lately and what they hope he’ll bring them on Christmas. Mrs. Claus took photos of each of the kids with Santa, too. (Likely better than my blurry iPhone pics here.)

…and I want a Furby, and more Skylanders, and Pokemon, and a kite, and…

Having “Santa” as a neighbor is helpful, because he knew right where they lived, and he already knew they had a dog named Cosmo – they really believed he was watching them all the time. Getting that kind of confirmation from him reinforced for them that Santa was real.

This is type of gesture that reminds me there are still good people in the world. There was no cost for this open house, although donations of canned food for our local food bank or gently used coats for the homeless shelter were encouraged.

They opened their home and their kitchen up to all of the families of our neighborhood. They had been baking sugar cookies for days to prepare, and the snack spread was impressive. Time, energy, and money were given out with no expectations in return.

No child left that home without one-on-one time with Santa, and the room was filled with lots of smiling little faces as it sunk in that they were visiting Santa’s house. It was pure joy and love.

I don’t think any other Santa will be able to top that experience for my kids. Or for me.



Shaking Up The IEP With A Frankenschedule

Two weeks ago we had our annual IEP meeting for Cordelia with her teachers and support staff. After the problems we’ve been having with her at school recently, this meeting couldn’t have come soon enough. We were already talking with her special needs teacher before the meeting and all in agreement that something had to change to get Cordy back on track.

At the start of the meeting we went over Cordy’s testing results. She’s reading at a beginning fourth grade level now. (She’s in second grade.) It’s possible she’s reading at a higher level than that, but she got annoyed with the testing and wouldn’t go any further. Her math scores are equally impressive, scoring off the charts on many of her timed math tests.

Her greatest challenges are linked to her anxiety. She tries to avoid anything new, she’s very sensitive to noise in the classroom, and she’s prone to overreaction when her behavior is corrected. This leads to many of the problem behaviors she’s been having recently, landing her in more and more trouble. She’s unable to self-soothe when she gets anxious and instead self-destructs. She also is bothered more by sensory stimuli when she’s bored and not focused on the task at hand.

We set up new goals for her to accomplish during the next year and then we discussed how to make school a better environment for her. We agreed that her current classroom was not working for her – it’s too loud and Cordy is bored with the level of work. It’s not the teacher’s fault, as she’s doing her best to deal with a class of kids who are just particularly rowdy. But there was also a disconnect between Cordy and the teacher, and it seemed like the best response was to switch classrooms to send her to the other second grade class.

So far, it’s going well. She likes the other teacher and says he has a “quiet, calm voice” that makes her feel less anxious. We haven’t had any calls home since the switch, and the end of the day reports are generally positive. She did get upset one day because she was caught reading in class (when she should have been focused on the teacher), but we used the Flummox & Friends video to remind her when she needs to be “in the group” and when it’s ok to not be in the group.

(Side note to parents of kids with autism, ADHD, or even neuro-typical kids: go watch Flummox & Friends. They only have a pilot so far, but they need to get this show produced. The episode has already given us new ways to cue Cordy on social behavior. No, I’m not an affiliate or anything – I actually gave them money through Kickstarter to help produce their pilot and I think they have a great idea.)

Back to our story –

We also met with the principal to discuss higher level reading and math for Cordy. After talking it through, we all agreed that skipping Cordy ahead an entire grade level might not be the best idea, as she’s already behind socially, but we clearly have to address her academic needs, too. I give the principal credit, she’s doing a lot of string-pulling to get the best possible education for our daughter.

This week we started our new Frankenschedule for Cordy, just in time for Halloween. They’ve cobbled together a work-in-progress new schedule for her that involves remaining in her new second grade classroom for most of the day, but attending third grade reading and spelling each day, and getting supplemental math homework supplied by the third grade math teacher while still attending second grade math.

Of course, reading times between grades don’t line up, so she’s missing reading one day to make sure she attends her required gym class each week, and going to music each week with the other second grade teacher’s class so she won’t miss music. She’ll have an “independent study” time on Mondays, too.

It sounds messy, and at the moment it is. Cordelia has had some anxiety over the changes, but I’m told she’s handling it fairly well. She told me she’s nervous about being with third graders, but lucky for us she was in a split level class last year (first and second graders taught together) so she knows a few of the kids in her third grade reading class. An aide is also going with her for now to provide reassurance and stabilize her emotionally.

It’s also still just a test as we see if this Frankenschedule will work out – five different teachers and the principal are working together to coordinate their efforts for my kid. If Cordy continues to excel at math, she may be moved up to third grade math, too, meaning another re-write of the schedule.

Aaron and I are also just as involved with this change. The new schedule requires a lot more effort from us at home, too. Her third grade spelling class has required assignments every night, all requiring parent participation, so we’re required to be more involved with her homework. And the supplemental math homework coming home is a form of self-study to keep her challenged and assess her abilities for a higher level of math, which means we’re the ones teaching it to her at the moment. (Thank goodness I was a math scholar in high school!)

The principal also agreed with the special needs teacher that Cordy should be re-tested in math as soon as possible. She missed the “gifted” in math assessment by a single point on the standardized test last year and they’d like to see that corrected. They’ll also be bringing in an evaluator to assess her for “superior cognitive ability” with an IQ test. They strongly suspect she’ll test in the gifted range, which will then make her almost guaranteed to have a spot in the fourth/fifth grade gifted & talented class when the time comes. That class is very non-traditional and everyone I’ve spoken with about it believes Cordy would thrive in that setting.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am that the school was willing to take action after the problems Cordy was experiencing a few weeks ago. She’s still anxious over all of the changes (she hates change) but she’s already showing signs of being more relaxed and there haven’t been any new incidents. We’ve agreed that she’ll no longer be sent to PEAK and lose recess for any outbursts, but will instead be sent to the special needs classroom for appropriate redirection and consequence if needed.

I’m crossing my fingers that the new schedule will work for Cordy and she’ll rise to the challenge. She’s getting a semi-custom education now, and it’ll be a tough adjustment for all of us but I think it’s worth it. We’re making active progress at controlling her anxiety so she won’t get in the way of herself. I have high hopes this kid will do great things.

There aren’t a lot of public role models for girls with autism out there. I look at Temple Grandin, and I’ve read her mother’s book about raising her and fighting to make sure she succeeded, and I can only hope that Cordy will be just as successful because of her autism and not in spite of it. She has unique gifts that will hopefully guide her purpose in life, and we’re here to nurture them and help clear any roadblocks for her.

There’s no chance we’re giving up on this kid.


A Crazy Example of Great Service

I had one other amazing experience during Blissdom that I wanted to share, but decided that it needed its own post.

As I mentioned previously, Blissdom was held at the Gaylord Opryland resort, which I often refer to as a city under a Bio-Dome. But ultimately it is a luxury hotel focused on providing high-quality service and creating a memorable experience for each guest.

I’ve been to Opryland three years in a row now. On my first visit, I remember walking into our hotel room and hearing this lovely music playing. It was similar to what you might hear if you went for a massage at a high-end spa. I looked at our clock radio and discovered it was also a sound machine. And the sound playing at the time was “spa” of course.

After a long drive to Nashville, the gentle wood flute and nature sounds were so soothing that I nearly fell asleep while relaxing on my bed. That entire weekend, I continued to notice how relaxed I felt while that music was softly playing in our room.

Before we left the conference that year, I asked the hotel where I could get one of those clock radios. They didn’t sell them but told me I’d be likely to find them in any store. I copied down the model number, but was never able to find one in stores that had the “spa” sounds. It seems that the model in the hotel room was only made for Gaylord hotels.

The next year, the clock radio in our room was a newer model – replaced after the great flood of Nashville – but the new one still had the soothing spa music. I again asked where I could find one, but nobody had an answer for me. I took down the model number and tried to search for it, but came up empty handed again.

Yes, I know you probably think I’m insane to obsess over a clock radio. And to be honest I’m not as obsessed as I sound. While I’m at Opryland, I enjoy the spa music. Sound can influence our thoughts and feelings, and this particular track soothes my mind, calms my nerves, and lets me sleep deeper than I usually do at home. I occasionally see sound machines at the store and when I do I always check to see if they might have the one I’m looking for. But I don’t spend every day in the quest for this particular clock radio.

So THIS year, I once again arrived at Gaylord Opryland and was pleased to find my little happy machine in the room. I joked with my roommate, Lisa, that I might just need to ask Opryland how much they’d charge me if our clock radio happened to be missing from the room at the end of our stay. I didn’t want to be a thief (bad message to send to the kids, right?), but I’ve been trying to find a product like this for three years now.

I turned to Twitter to ask the hotel for help.

And they responded. (Because they’re cool like that. And smart enough to watch their Twitter feed during a blogging conference.)

And then I responded:

I received no response after that, and I attended the Blissdom closing night party with the subject no longer on my mind. When we came back to the room, I walked over to the nightstand and switched on the music again, then turned and found myself face-to-faceplate with a second clock radio perched on the dresser, and an envelope next to it with my name on it.

(Photo re-enacted after I’d already opened the card, of course.)

There was at least a five second pause as my brain tried to process what my eyes were seeing. I slowly picked up the envelope and opened it, reading the handwritten card: “Christina, Thank you for following us on Twitter. We hope you enjoy these spa sounds at home. If you need anything, please let us know. Sincerely, Elizabeth, Nick & Tori.

That would be the point where the excited screaming began. Sorry to those of you staying in the Delta who were trying to sleep at 11:30pm.

I would have been happy to pay for one of the clock radios, but the staff at Opryland took notice of just how much I loved this thing and went out of their way to make sure I had the best experience ever. And they also ensured that I wouldn’t have a guilty conscience when returning home to my daughters.

(Kidding.)

(Well, mostly.)

(No, no, really. Stealing is bad, kids.)

So thank you, Gaylord Opryland (Elizabeth, Tori & Nick!), for topping off a wonderful weekend with an unexpected delight. You reaffirmed that there are still companies out there focused on great service, and you’ve made a lifelong fan out of me. And you’re now helping me get some of the best sleep possible, year-round, which any mother will tell you is a feat worthy of high praise.

You’ll have to pry this thing from my cold, dead (yet amazingly relaxed) hands.


And A Pinkie Pie On Every Tree

One of the things I love about blogging and social media is the ability to have a direct line to the people who can help you out.

For example, Cordy and Mira love My Little Pony.

Wait…I don’t think that’s quite strong enough.

What I meant to say was: Cordy and Mira LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! My Little Pony. They can’t get enough of the new show on the Hub network, and our house is now filled with ponies and accessories. It’s nearly the only TV they watch.

Each year we let the girls pick a new ornament to add to the Christmas tree. It’s fun to see how their interests change each year by looking back at the ornaments they choose. So of course when it came time to select this year’s ornament (and knowing that this is the year of My Little Pony for both kids), I did a little internet searching and discovered that American Greetings made a 2011 My Little Pony Pinkie Pie Christmas ornament.

Perfect!

One problem, though. The ornament was sold out everywhere. It seems My Little Pony has an enormous adult fan following, and once word got out about the ornaments, they were quickly bought up. Sold out online. Sold out in our local stores, too.

I looked at resellers to buy one, but I refused to get into a bidding war on eBay and spend $30+ on a $7.99 ornament. I didn’t want to reward someone for buying up all the ornaments to turn a profit with the collector crowd.

So I did what any desperate blogger might think to do – I reached out via Twitter, asking American Greetings for their help in tracking down an ornament. I explained that my two daughters are fans of the show and really wanted this ornament for our Christmas tree this year.

I was hoping they might be able to tell me if there was somewhere online to buy one, or if they planned to send out another shipment soon. I was happy to pay for one, I just needed an actual ornament to buy. They quickly responded that they would look into it for me.

I waited for days and didn’t hear anything further. I wasn’t sure how much they could help – if it’s sold out, it’s sold out, right? So I was completely unprepared for them to go above and beyond and respond with this:

And then yesterday, a perfect Pinkie Pie ornament showed up in the mail. Two little girls cheered with joy and Cordy declared the @amgreetings Twitter maven “the nicest person in the world!”

The dreary, rainy day yesterday suddenly got A LOT brighter for these two.

So now Pinkie Pie has joined the cast of animated characters on our tree. As befitting her importance at this moment, she’s front and center:

with Batman climbing up for a visit on the lower right

Have I mentioned social media is awesome? Thank you, American Greetings, for helping this mom get the perfect 2011 ornament for my daughters!

(And just because this is the new era of full disclosure: yes, American Greetings did send it to us for free, unexpectedly. There was no agreed on review or anything like that – I just wanted to share my joy at a company doing something really, really nice for my family.)



Blissdom Musings

So last week was filled with a road-trip to Nashville for the Blissdom conference at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel. Not only did this mean getting to catch up with so many bloggers I know and love, many of whom I consider friends, but it also meant several days away from work, bills, and the crippling stress I’ve been feeling lately. In other words: I desperately needed this trip.

First: the location was beautiful. The Opryland Hotel is too amazing to be believed. There is an indoor river, people. AN INDOOR RIVER. It’s like Las Vegas in Tennessee. And the conference had a lot of great perks, including a private concert by Harry Connick Jr. on Friday night.

There was also the unexpected perk(?) of the National Tea Party Conference also being held at the hotel that weekend, including a guest appearance by Sarah Palin. Despite my having vastly different political views from the tea party attendees, watching Catherine (Her Bad Mother) discuss political science with men dressed as George Washington and Paul Revere was worth the entire trip. (Drunk on glory, Catherine!)

I didn’t approach Blissdom this year like I’ve approached past blogging conferences. While I still cared about what I wore, I wasn’t frantically rush-ordering new business cards or thinking about what kind of swag I could give out to be noticed. My game plan for Blissdom was simple: have fun with friends, maybe meet some new friends, and learn more about blogging and/or myself.

I succeeded in my plan.

I laughed more in that half-week than I have in probably a month or more. I filled my days with friends and fun. After four years of knowing her online-only, I finally had the chance to hug Amy, aka Mrs. Chicken, in person. And in meeting her, I was relieved that she was everything and more that I expected her to be. Spending time with her was like visiting with an old friend, because at this point she is an old friend.

At past conferences, I was often more aggressive at seeking out new people and “networking” to build my blog presence. However, I’m burned out on networking for the goal of building a brand or blog audience or popularity or whatever is the current buzz word of the moment.

So I took a more laid back approach. I was happy to fall into conversations when it was natural. I loved being introduced to women that my friends already knew – in every case, I saw why my friends liked them and found myself liking these women in return. But I felt no need to force myself into a conversation, and most of the time I forgot to even give anyone my card unless they gave me theirs first.

(Also? I used up the few leftover business cards I brought with me. I will have to get more for the next conference.)

As for learning more about blogging? I did a little of that, too. While I was tempted to go to sessions on monetizing your blog and growing your readership, I instead decided to stick with the basics of how to write a good story and how to let my voice come through my writing. I think I’ve been fairly good at those in the past, but of late my story has been getting lost. I want to find that story again, somewhere in the fog of working night shifts and sleepless days. My own days aren’t coherent, and as a result my story is disjointed and fractured as well. I think finding my story again will go a long way towards my 2010 resolution/goal/whatever of finding happiness again.

Oh, and I also learned that I can get up the nerve to sing karaoke without a single drop of alcohol in me in front of a room full of women I adore and admire. That took a whole new level of bravery, but I’ll say I had a lot of fun and will likely do it again. (Thanks, Casey, for helping me get up the nerve to do it, and Mishi and Heather for joining me on stage!)

After the disillusionment I felt after BlogHer last year, I’m now looking forward to BlogHer 10. Blissdom, this smaller conference that reminded me a lot of BlogHer 06, helped me throw away all of the stress of jockeying for position with my blog and simply enjoy the community and friendships I’ve made along the journey thus far.

Blissdom was truly bliss.

Photo by Heather, Domestic Extraordinaire

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