Archives for June 2006

I’ll admit, I’m shocked. And honored. And blushing. I certainly wasn’t expecting to find I’d been awarded a Perfect Post award when I checked my e-mail this morning.

J’s Mommy over at Another Mommy Moment was kind enough to bestow this lovely award on me for my 30th birthday post.

What J’s Mommy may not realize is that she just got my Perfect Timing award. (OK, so there is no such award, but if there was, she’d be the first recipient.) Just yesterday I was talking with someone about my writing, and I mentioned that I can, at times, be very insecure about my writing. I sometimes agonize over a single paragraph, feeling like my writing is dull, repetitive, or uninspiring. I’ve been floundering over why I bother to write.

After all, my life isn’t that exciting – why would anyone want to read it? I am often stunned by the phenomena of mommy blogs and how they have spread like fire. Mommy blogs are often dismissed by other “real” writers as being nothing but fluff and vanity writing. But if that’s the case, why do these blogs get so much attention?

I think it’s because motherhood is difficult, confusing, and there is no how-to book to show us what to do. Oh wait, there is, but would you really trust it? There are two good methods for learning to be a parent: trial by fire, and stories from your peers. While trial by fire is essentially parenting on a runaway train, and you learn a lot by doing that, peer advice is that extra bit that gives you some idea of what’s coming around the bend, so you at least have a few tools in your back pocket to prepare.

Think about it – how often do you ask for or take advice from a friend who has already gone through a situation you are about to go through? While it’s doubtful that you will have the exact same experience, there is a high chance some of it will be the same.

Mommy blogs are like a global circle of friends offering advice and sharing their stories. We learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what should never, ever, be done again. I’ve learned from other moms, and I think others have benefited from my experience as well.

So thank you, J’s Mommy, for my Perfect Post award. You’ve helped renew my faith in my writing, and reaffirmed for me that people are reading, and they are hopefully leaving with a new idea, a new smile for the day, or a new thought to ponder.

Uh, Britney? Mrs. Federline? You got a minute?

OK, clearly you either have no real friends, or your friends haven’t had the guts to tell you, so I guess that leaves it up to me. *deep breath*

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Britney, a dye job won’t make you a hip, cool mama, no matter how dark you dye it. You’ll never be as cool as Angelina Jolie, even if you have baby #2 in Namibia.

Why will you never be a cool mommy? Well, first, because you won’t put away the boobs and spit out your gum to talk to Matt Lauer, which just screams “white trash”.

Second, you’re married to this dork:

I rest my case.

Conversation held with another mom this weekend at a play area:

Other Mom: How old is your little girl?

Me: 21 months.

OM: Oh, our kids are the same age!

Me: (looking at her little boy) Oh! Cool.

OM: She’s just so big for her age!

Me: Uh, yeah, she is. She’s a big, healthy girl.

OM: She’s got at least a couple of inches over my son!

Me: Yep, I guess she does. We’re hoping for a basketball player.

OM: How much does she weigh?

Me: Close to 30 pounds. She’s slowed down in the past few months.

OM: WOW! My little guy is only about 24 pounds!

(silence for awhile as the kids play)

OM: When I first saw your daughter, I thought she must be two or three, but then I noticed she didn’t act like a two year old.

Me: Oh really? Yeah, well, she’s often mistaken for being older than she is.

OM: My son is right around the 50th percentile. He’s pretty much average.

Me: Huh. Well, nothing wrong with average.

(a little more silence)

OM: My daughter was like yours when she was little. She was at the top of the charts until about 9 months, and then she leveled off.

Me: Oh, OK. Cordy has been at the top of the charts so far, with no signs of slowing down.

OM: She really is big!

(OM’s husband comes in)

OM: (to husband) That little girl is the same age as our son, but look how much bigger she is!

OMH: Wow, she is big! Has she always been so big?

Me: Well, she was over 8 pounds at birth…

OM: (laughing) Our kids were both over 9 pounds when they were born!

Me: Yeah, well, clearly the steroids and bovine growth hormone are doing the job, then.

[end scene]

So there you have it. I have the largest 21 month old in Columbus. She’s big enough to make people stop and stare, and to make them keep reminding me just how large she is.

I was a little baffled by the conversation, unsure whether to be flattered or insulted. Was she trying to tell me my daughter was freakishly large next to her compact little boy?

I’ve often found myself chatting with other moms and doing the size comparison dance with them. We laugh about how different kids are, usually. This conversation just felt different, because this mom seemed to be so amazed that a child of that age could be so large. I started to wonder if I should call the circus and see if I could make any money off of my offspring.

Yes, Cordy is my Amazon warrior princess. She’s 35 inches tall, weighs close to 30 pounds, and has a cranium so large that she can already wear adult sized hats. She is already growing out of her 2T clothing and starting into 3T. (which is expensive, might I add) Her doctors place her at the tip-top of the charts. But she has the coordination of a 21 month old, meaning she crashes into everything. Head injuries are usually a daily occurrence. Thankfully, most of the time she barely notices.

Do I think she’s going to set records? No, of course not. She will eventually even out with her peers, whenever her body decides it’s time to slow down.

Do I wish she was just average? Sometimes. It would certainly put less strain on my back to carry a smaller toddler, less strain on my credit cards to buy clothing less often, and less strain on my nerves to fend off comments about her size. But she was my giant baby, and now she’s my Amazon toddler, and I love her just the way she is, even if she isn’t a dainty flower.

At least I know that if other kids ever try to bother her, she can hold her own in a fight.

AARON GOT THE JOB!!!!

He got the call this morning, and will start on July 10. He was offered near the bottom of the pay range, but it’s still more than he makes now, and the job will have regular raises, unlike the job he has now, which has offered no raises.

He’s already turned in his resignation letter, and we are both overjoyed at the prospect of having a little more money each month, as well as a job for him that doesn’t leave him depressed. And it’s good timing, too: yesterday we had to take one of our cats to the emergency vet (he should be fine, but the bill hurts), and our dishwasher started spewing forth sudsy water onto the kitchen floor when we ran it yesterday. Plus I still have no A/C in my car.

That is all for now. I will be back later with a post about the conversation I had with another mom this weekend about the fact that my daughter is abnormally large.