A Mommy Story

Thank you all for your advice on my last post. I’ve got several new brands to try now, and hopefully one will work.

Some of you asked why Cordy is not potty trained yet, or why we aren’t actively trying to potty train her if she’s wetting through diapers. I can’t tell you how many times I get variations of those questions from friends, family, and complete strangers based on her age and her size. (Let’s forget for a moment that I have a newborn, making it nearly impossible to give her the attention she needs for potty training.)

I jokingly tell people she’s just stubborn, or that she likes having servants clean up after her. She’s a real go-getter who doesn’t have time to stop for a potty break. She hopes to be an astronaut and wear those astronaut diapers all the time.

But the real truth is she simply isn’t physically ready yet. Yes, she’ll be three years old in September, and everyone I talk to has a story of how their kids were potty trained by two. Even I was potty trained by two. However, most experts say you won’t have any luck with potty training if the kid isn’t physically ready. Meaning they have to be aware of the pressure in their bladder, understand this means they need to go, and then have the physical control over the nerves and muscles needed to hold and then release urine. They should ideally be able to stay dry for three hours, and sometimes overnight. Plus a child must also be able to undress and sit on the potty.

Cordy meets very few of those physical readiness signs. She is never dry for three hours, and has never been dry overnight. She doesn’t realize when she’s peeing or pooping, and having a full diaper doesn’t bother her. I don’t think she realizes when she needs to go, either. A pediatrician once told me that kids who are big for their age (and she’s certainly tall and big) sometimes take longer to reach these physical milestones, simply because they are so big.

It’s not that we haven’t tried to get her interested in the potty. She is interested – to a point. I received a DVD called Go Potty Go to review, and it is now a favorite of hers. She watches us use the bathroom and we explain to her what is happening. (In fact, after watching Go Potty Go she now likes to walk in on me in the bathroom and remind me “wipe your bottom” – like I’d forget.) She has a potty chair and she is comfortable with it, although she likes to pull it out of the bathroom and watch TV while sitting on it. Oh, and she won’t sit on it bare-bottomed, either.

So while she has some interest, the physical readiness is not there, and that has made any tries at potty training complete failures. A few times before her bath, I’ve stripped her naked while I ran the water, and she peed while walking around, completely unaware of what she was doing. I’m still keeping an eye on her for any signs that she’s ready, and once she reaches those physical signs I’ll be ready to try again.

For now, we’ll stick to the diapers and only having juice and mashed up cheerios in our carpets. I’m not worried about her potty training by a certain age. She won’t leave for college with a stash of Huggies, I promise.