A Mommy Story

Well, it finally had to happen. Our neighbors finally showed themselves to be the rabid feral animals we knew them to be. I’m still shaken, so forgive me if this is disjointed. I needed to get it out somewhere.

First off, the bad news is that the neighbors aren’t losing their house now. It was to be foreclosed on, but their mortgage company decided at the last minute to work with them. I can only hope they miss more payments and get thrown out. Yeah, it’s a little mean to wish that on them, but after tonight, you can understand why I feel that way.

Tonight the kids were, once again, completely in our yard, taking over our side yard for their games. While out in the backyard, I caught a kid out of the corner of my eye, in the fenced in yard, and then he ran around the side of the house. I walked around to see two of the boys saying, “Let’s get out of here,” as they ran away, and the girl saying, “Oh, thanks guys, let me get in trouble.” Clearly they know it’s wrong to jump our fence. I reminded the girl to please let us know if they lose their ball in the yard by knocking on our door, and gave her back the other ball that was in our yard.

I came in and told Aaron, then opened the front door. It was then I noticed that a few of the bricks surrounding our tree were knocked over as the kids ran all over our yard. Aaron had had enough at this point, and went outside to tell the kids they needed to respect our property, and if they damaged anything he would call the police. OK, he probably shouldn’t have mentioned the word police, but he didn’t raise his voice, and he said please.

Then the bomb hit. The dad came over to our house, yelling obscenities at us and threatening us. I went outside and attempted to reason with them (what the hell was I thinking?), but as usual he and his wife cut off anything I tried to say and yelled at me.

I told them I simply didn’t want our property damaged by them, and I thought we were well within our bounds to set our own rules on our own property.

The mom said that we are the problem with society – we don’t let kids be kids, and they are just letting their kids be kids. She also (of course) went back to her old argument that her kids never do anything wrong, and that it’s their friends who are doing all the damage. Because we can’t produce visual evidence, we have no proof. She also claims that she’s seen random kids come running through just to jump over our fence. I’ve seen her oldest son climbing our fence before, and somehow I’ve never seen these mysterious fence jumpers who come from far and wide just to leap our fence.

There were several points I could have yelled back or thrown an insult about their kids. But I refused to stoop to her level. And so I simply stood there and reiterated that we just want our property respected while she tried to twist everything I said around. I reminded her that we have never raised our voice with her children, even though she accused us of yelling at her kids for “bending a blade of grass”. She then said it didn’t matter if I didn’t raise my voice, because the tone of my voice was disrespectful to her kids. (Can’t win, can you?)

And the insults against us continued. She said we keep Cordy “locked up” (because she’s not outside all the time) and told me that it’s no wonder she has social problems and will grow up to be an outcast. She repeated over and over that we’re the problem with society, and we’d rather see her kids hit by cars. Apparently she’s preventing her kids from becoming juvenile delinquents and shooting people by letting them run wild outside. Uh-huh, whatever. I thought running wild with no concern for others is how kids head down the wrong path.

She told us that half of the neighbors were on her side, and that also our fence was on their property and she was planning to call the homeowners association to force us to tear it down. (We built the fence on the property line, actually, since two years ago they wanted to build a fence and we offered to extend ours to the property line since they were concerned about the costs. We were trying to be nice. See what nice gets you?) Should we find out the fence is on their property (doubt it – we measured it with the stake put in by the city), we’re only too happy to tear that side down and move it in, just to the inside of our property.

I also reminded her that I’ve seen her youngest son peeing in our yard more than once. She told me that, again, I was in the wrong, because he’s a boy and that’s what boys do. “All boys do it. Your husband probably did it as a kid, too.” (For the record, he didn’t.) I had no idea peeing in other people’s yards was socially acceptable.

She then said that we brought all of this on ourselves, because before they moved in, we told them we had plenty of yard and they were welcome to play in our yard. Maybe we did offer that, but we do have the right to revoke that offer, and we expect our property to remain undamaged.

It was clear there was no reasoning with these people. Anything we tried to say they countered with some ridiculous argument and hurled insults at me. Finally Aaron came back out, and it escalated. The dad came over onto our property and got right up in his face (completely nose-to-nose) saying we didn’t want to find out what he was capable of. We, having stayed calm the entire time, did not react to his provocations. I calmly said, “There’s no need for you to be so aggressive,” to which he then swung around to me, pointing his finger about an inch from my face and saying, “You stay the fuck out of this!” Aaron wisely took a step back and said, “Clearly, this conversation is over. Let’s go inside.” We turned around and left as they continued to yell at us.

Soon the cops showed up. Yes, they called the police. The neighbors had also by this point fetched the parents of the friend the kids had in our yard. They talked to the police for about fifteen minutes, and then one of the officers came to speak with us. We explained our position to him. The other officer came up to speak with us, too, asking where the property line was. I told him it was at the fence, although they were contesting that. He went to look, and came back, saying, “You’ve got a pie-shaped lot. That looks like the right placement for the property line.”

The cops were very nice with us, in no way indicating that we’ve done anything wrong. I informed them that the dad had threatened us with physical harm, too. They offered to tell the family that they were not allowed to step foot on our property. I explained that I didn’t want it to come to that. I’m not trying to be mean, I only want our property to be respected.

They thanked us, and returned to talking with the neighbors. The police remained outside for nearly an hour. At one point, Aaron could hear an officer telling them, “Look, we told them we could forbid you from coming onto their land, but they didn’t want to do that.” Finally the police left.

It’s quiet now. I’m sick to my stomach. I’m angry. And I feel like a prisoner in my own house. These people are aggressive and unable to see beyond their own noses. While this entire argument was going on, all four of their kids were standing right there, learning how to act like cavemen, just like their parents.

This is such a petty thing to get this worked up over. I’d like to say I didn’t think they would overreact like this, but I somehow knew this would happen. Say anything, or look cross eyed at their kids, and they will jump all over you. They never admit their kids do anything wrong. Just last week I explained to the mom that I had asked the kids not to pull on our tree, because they have broken off a branch, and she said to me, “I’ve told them not to do it. But what can I do?” Uh, how about parent your kids?

I’m so upset, and I really wish they’d go away. They are mean, spiteful, hateful people, and I have a strong feeling they will now try to retaliate. Our car has already been scratched up (mysteriously?) after the last argument over their kids. But now they’re openly hostile, so there’s no telling what these people will do now.

Sometimes I wish there were personality tests required in order to live in certain areas. We just want to enjoy our home, and our yard, in peace. Our neighbors, however, seem to think that they are entitled to do whatever they want in the neighborhood, especially our yard.

What do you do when your own neighbors are your worst enemy?

Edited to add: Late at night they came over again, talking like we were all friends and telling us about how their property line on the drawing they were given doesn’t match up with the city’s drawings, and how it’s the builder’s fault. They did apologize and say they didn’t want to fight. I reminded them that it’s a hassle to go to them every time I have to ask their kids to not do something, and asked them to not get so bent out of shape if we politely ask their kids to follow our rules in our yard. I have no idea for why they had the sudden change in attitude, but I’ll take it. I can only guess the police gave them a serious talk about property laws. Still, I’d rather have passive-aggressive neighbors at a Yellow threat level rather than outright hostile neighbors at a Red threat level.