A Mommy Story

‘Cause if they do, I could use one right now.

Today was Cordy’s first day of summer camp. “Typical” kid summer camp. Keep up with the pace summer camp. Do self-care stuff on your own summer camp. And I’m nervous as hell.

Two years ago, right after Mira was born, we put Cordy in a summer camp that was both a help and a disaster. I needed the time without Cordy, but she didn’t handle camp well. She didn’t follow the group. She didn’t participate in activities. She had massive meltdowns in group assembly. She had to be fed because she wouldn’t feed herself. And she wouldn’t drink from a cup, so she often was extremely thirsty at the end of the day. That was when we first heard the words, “It might be a good idea to get her evaluated.”

One year ago, after a year of special needs preschool, we enrolled her in a special needs summer camp program through the school district. That? Also a disaster. Many of the kids in that program had more severe disabilities, and Cordy spent all summer backsliding.

But today she’s being mainstreamed again. I know it is best for her. She needs the challenge. She’s made incredible progress and is ready for this, but I feel like I’m still trying to convince myself of that statement.

I worry the other kids won’t accept her. I know she’ll be hard to deal with during the first week or two – until she learns the routine – and I worry her teachers won’t wait for her to blossom into the happy child and instead write her off as worth their time early on. And what if she doesn’t know to ask to go to the bathroom? Will she have an accident?

I’m overprotective -there’s no hiding that fact. I do try to shield her from some of the ugly in life. I step in when she encounters mean kids probably sooner than I should. Oh, and I gave her teachers a speech about Cordy’s sensitivities and quirks that was so long they probably quit listening after the first few sentences and just nodded and smiled to keep me happy.

We pick her up this afternoon, and I’m hoping for a glowing report. Or at least a “it wasn’t too bad” report. Until then, I’m all nerves.

(And Mira starts summer camp tomorrow, too. Strangely enough, I’m not at all worried about her.)

And if you’re bored and like looking at photos of people in dressing rooms under bad fluorescent lighting, come check out my little fashion show and help me choose clothing for BlogHer!