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Aug 12, 2011

Fashion: When Are You Too Old?

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So after returning from BlogHer, where I spent five days with 3000+ women who were all looking fantastic in their own ways, I found out yesterday that an article I was interviewed for was published at CNN. The topic revolved around moms dressing like their teenagers, or in my case, older women who shop in the Juniors’ department of a store.

It’s a quick read – go check it out, I’ll wait.

I think the article does a great job of explaining why it’s OK to shop in the same place as a teenager as long as you’re dressing in a flattering way for your body type. Just because you’re in Hollister doesn’t mean you can’t find a simple, well-fitting t-shirt that doesn’t reveal too much. Of course, I’m writing that sentence as if I have any idea what kind of clothing Hollister carries.

There’s so much I can say on this topic beyond my quotes in the article. Do I think any teen fashion can be adopted by a 30- or 40-something mom? No way. But depending on your body type you can find cute clothing in a store focused on a younger population, or even the Juniors’ section at Kohl’s, that is still appropriate and tasteful for an older woman.

(Gah. I just lumped myself in as older. ‘Scuse me while I go take my fiber pill now…)

When I was younger and in that “appropriate” age range for these stores, I didn’t fit the clothing. I was heavier, I had self-esteem issues, and so I was far more comfortable hiding myself in baggy jeans and loose sweatshirts. I’m still a big fan of casual clothing, but having dropped some weight – both in pounds and in psychological baggage – I can appreciate clothing that’s a little more flattering to my shape. There’s no chance I’ll be sporting a mini skirt and crop top anytime soon, of course; I know my limits. I shop now for clothing that is comfortable and makes me happy when I wear it, no matter where it came from.
It’s always interesting to read the negative comments in the article, too: moms who wear teen clothing must be slutty. If you’re a mom, you shouldn’t care what you look like anymore. If you want to look nice, you’re just shallow and self-absorbed. *eyeroll*

Let’s play a little game: here are some of the outfits I wore at BlogHer this year. I’ll state up-front that I have no intentions of winning a fashion award anytime soon. Guess which one came from the Juniors’ department:

Thursday in the Expo hall

Thursday night: strapless dress & crochet cardigan

Friday night: lavender lace dress (sorry, can’t find a photo in color)

Saturday morning: brown ruffled, layered top and jeans

Saturday – another view of the same outfit, with Elmo totally checking me out

OK, so what’s your guess? Which one was designed for a teenager and not a 35 year old mom?

…

insert Jeopardy music here …

…

SURPRISE! It’s the brown layered-look shirt. Yep, this beauty of full-coverage-yet-fashionable ruffles and layers comes from the Juniors’ section of Kohl’s. The other outfits? Lee jeans, H&M top, JC Penney dress from the women’s section, and Ruche lace dress.

I found similar tops to the Kohl’s layered top in the women’s section, too, but they didn’t fit me as well. They were too boxy and made me look completely shapeless. The teen version is better fitted through the midsection and I received several compliments while wearing it. The jeans aren’t from the teen section, of course – no teen jeans would ever fit my hips.

My final thoughts: I’m no fashion plate. I can count dozens more who are more fashionable than me. But I do like to dress in a way that makes me feel pretty. Clothing is both a shallow topic and a subject that we wrap up in our self-worth. It can be a form of expression and a signal of our inner feelings. It can be a tool to empower us or a weapon to tear us down. While I don’t think women should invest so much of our self-worth into a piece of fabric, I do consider it reasonable that we can enjoy what we wear.

My belief is that we’re all smart women – we know what is appropriate for us. Wear what makes you look and feel your best no matter where it came from, whether it be Forever 21 or Forever 65. Because if you feel good about yourself, it’ll be reflected in everything you do, including the all-important task of building self-esteem in your children. It doesn’t matter if you’re raising your kids in a sweatshirt or a pair of pink heels as long as you’re confident in yourself.

What do you think? Are there certain stores that we shouldn’t shop in? Should women who reach a certain age be shunned from the Juniors’ section completely? Is it possible to follow fashion and not be accused of dressing like a teen or being a bad mom (unless you’re Jennifer Lopez)?

Filed Under: being a mom, BlogHer11, me me me, more than parents, pop culture, shameless bragging ·


Aug 12, 2011

BlogHer Recap: The Good, The Bad and The Bob

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So I’m back from BlogHer. It was a crazy whirlwind of five days, and during that time I can admit to a lot of eating and drinking. I never eat a lot at individual meals at BlogHer, but I do snack and drink my way through the entire conference. I mean, who can resist this:

Yum. Hershey’s s’mores. I could have spent all day in there.

As for drinking, I scaled it way back this year. I mean, I did have several alcoholic drinks, but at the end of the weekend I’d only used three of my drink tickets, and one of those was for a Diet Coke. San Diego is very fond of the margarita, but tequila is not my alcohol of choice. It wasn’t until the CheeseburgHer party that I found someone who could make a good vodka mixed drink.

Yet for all of my “sinful” eating, when I stepped on the scale the morning after arriving home, I was greeted with the same number that I left with: 167.

While I missed out on the workouts at BlogHer, I did get more than enough walking in. The blister band aids on my feet will attest to that. And I tore up the dance floor at the CheeseburgHer party – that had to be enough exercise to counter the McDonald’s cheeseburger and small fries that I inhaled.

But the best moment of the weekend for my little fitness heart came from having breakfast with Bob Harper. (If you’re drawing a blank, he’s one of the trainers from The Biggest Loser.) He had a workout earlier in the morning that filled up before I could claim a spot, but I did get registered for the breakfast Q&A session.

Kari, Laura and I got there early and quickly scoped out the best seats. We claimed the center front table, making sure we had prime position to see Bob and hopefully get noticed when it came time for questions. After a quick intro speech from Bob, he sat down in a chair less than five feet away and was ready to answer some of our questions.

Laura went first and asked about how to time your eating when you have a third shift schedule. (It’s like she read my mind!) He discussed making sure you eat regularly with a solid mix of carbs, protein and fat.

As soon as he started to wrap up his answer, my hand shot up again. Normally I’m shy about asking questions in a session, but when I’ve got an expert like Bob in front of me, I’m not going to miss my chance!

Kari was far smarter than me and recorded the entire thing (you may need to crank your volume way up to hear it):

OK, so he berated me for my choice of words. For the record, YES, I’m happy that I’ve lost 80 pounds. When I think about how much I used to weigh, and how heavy and weak I felt all the time, I’m thrilled that I will never have to endure that again.

However, my goal weight is so close I can nearly touch it. No longer a vague number way out on the edge of the horizon, it now has shape and substance to it. I can imagine what I’ll look like at my goal weight, and I like the idea. So yeah, I’m happy with 80 pounds lost. But I’ll be even happier when I reach my goal weight.

Sadly, I didn’t take many full-length photos of myself during my time at BlogHer, and I don’t remember finding myself in front of many camera lenses, either. I did receive lots of compliments on how good I looked and – being completely honest and vain at the moment – I ate those comments up like fine chocolates. It felt good to receive that outside validation of my hard work.

Fine lookin’ group here (photo courtesy of Melisa)

I think Elmo is checking me out…

I’m 80 pounds away from the time I stepped on the scale after graduating college and saw myself at nearly 250 pounds. I like the course I’m on, even if I’m not getting there as quickly as I’d like.

I remarked to a friend that I’ve been one dress size smaller at each BlogHer since my first in 2006. She joked that the trend can’t continue or I’ll disappear. True, but I’m hoping that next year will be my triumph, when I declare my weight loss complete at BlogHer 12.

And then will begin what Bob told us was the hardest part of the journey: maintaining the loss.

Filed Under: motivation, photographic evidence, success · Tagged:


Aug 10, 2011

I Still Haven’t Recovered From BlogHer ’11

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Alternate title: I left my spirit in San Diego.

I’ve been home for over two days now and while I’ve settled back into my home routine again, everything still feels a little off.

Part of the problem is that summer camp ended last Friday for Cordy and Mira. Why the summer programs in our city choose to end two and a half weeks before the start of school is unknown to me, but it’s intensely frustrating when you work and have to find childcare coverage for that short period of time.

Mira is attending another camp for just this week, at a premium cost of course. Which leaves Cordy at home with me during the day, while I try to get enough sleep to function at work that night. Cordy has learned how to operate the remote control to choose cartoons to watch on Netflix, and so our routine involves me napping on the couch while she reads books and watches TV and wakes me up for lunch. Not perfect, but it works. Next week will be a different story.

I’m still processing so much from my trip to BlogHer. New connections were made. Old friendships were reaffirmed. I spent time in a city where the weather is always perfect and the air is light and humidity-free. I danced until my feet ached and laughed until my sides hurt. And I cried when I had to leave all of these wonderful people so that we could return to our different parts of the world.

Regular Folks
Can’t miss me – I’m the very white one

Now I’m home, still too tired and too busy to unpack, and feeling lost in the mundane activities of my life.

More to come when the jet lag wears off from my soul.

Filed Under: BlogHer11, love, memories ·


Aug 2, 2011

Making Time For Family Time

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Life has been a blur lately. I work third shift, Aaron works first shift, the kids are both in summer camp…it often feels like we’re all just passing by each other in the evening.

Weekends are full of to-do’s. I’m leaving this week for BlogHer. Aaron just got back from a week long trip to San Diego Comic Con. (I would have told you all, but I didn’t feel like announcing to the entire Internet that my husband was away from home for a week.)

To sum up: we’re disconnected.

Which is why when I was given the opportunity to take a close to home vacation with my family, I jumped at the chance. We spent last weekend at Cedar Point and Lake Erie, a family vacation that we’ve always wanted and never thought we had the time to take.

And you know what? We reconnected. We enjoyed spending time together, laughing together, playing together, and making memories together.

And we didn’t even have to go that far to do it.

Please go read the full recap of our day at Cedar Point, and our day seeing the sights around Lake Erie. It was far too many memories to include in just one blog post.

(Bonus: there’s video of a live bison with it’s head in our car window. Seriously. Click the links and find out for yourself.)

Filed Under: family time, love, memories, reviews ·


Aug 1, 2011

Double Agent

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As I prepare for BlogHer this week, I’ve been bubbling over with excitement about seeing old friends and immersing myself in 5 days of IRL blogging heaven. This has occasionally resulted in my having to explain my excitement to those around me, followed by not taking their strange looks personally.

It’s hard to be a blogger, yo.

I often feel like I’m living two lives. One life is a nurse, working a steady full-time job, going to the grocery, picking my kids up from summer camp, sitting through business meetings at work, doing laundry, keeping strong opinions to myself, occasionally meeting up with friends, and watching TV with my husband in the evenings.

But then there’s my other life. In that life I write about my inner thoughts on the internet, converse with friends I know in person and those I’ve never met across the globe, share openly my struggles with ADD and my daughter’s autism, attend conferences of like-minded geeky people who like to talk with each other on the internet, leverage my virtual soapbox to give my opinion on products and services and provide feedback directly to big companies that otherwise wouldn’t notice me, occasionally discuss money, politics, religion or some other topic we’re not supposed to discuss in polite company, and freely dance my way across social media platforms, interacting with those who cross my path.

My other life sure seems like a lot more fun sometimes.

I often look at my two separate-but-not-equal lives and wonder which one is the real me? Or are they both different parts of me, like the Freudian id and ego?

My daily life requires me to constantly censor myself to fit in, molding every action and word to fit in with what is expected of me. Some of it is the real me, but parts are an act, an elaborate character I play when the need arises. Stick to the superficial when interacting with others in public, bury deep your true feelings so as not to offend anyone, try to blend with the crowd. And for goodness sakes, don’t talk about your blog or anything geeky, lest you be branded a complete weirdo!

In college, I was praised by my sorority (wha? yes, I was in a sorority – stop laughing) for being great at the small-talk required during rush. But small talk was easy; scripted conversation starters with a mental list of how to respond to various answers made it a game. Ask me to have more in-depth conversations, though, and the conversations quickly deteriorated as I lost my ability to be chatty and instead panicked.

Online I still must censor myself, but in a different way. Here I hide specifics of the superficial details: my daily schedule, where my children attend school, details about my job, etc. Yet here my inner soul is on display, and writing serves as an outlet for that part of me that is kept bottled up every day. My interactions here are with people who I share something in common with on a more personal level, instead of the superficial level of proximity. On my blog, I don’t feel the need to hold back on my opinions – anyone who reads them is here in my space and free to leave if they disagree.

So which is the real me? Blogging conferences always put this to the test. My online self is on display in person, interacting real-time with those I enjoy talking to online. Only without the luxury of taking the time to craft a thought-provoking or witty response. (There’s no backspace key in real life.) I always worry I’m going to disappoint people who know my online persona once they meet the physical person. Depending on what point of the day you meet me, I could be shy or very outgoing – it all depends on how overwhelmed I am at the moment.

But thankfully, most people attending BlogHer will be feeling the same way. From past experience, I know that once the initial nervous jitters pass, I find it very freeing to let my two halves loose at the same time. BlogHer makes it possible to be yourself – whichever blend of “you” is the one you feel most comfortable with.

Hopefully I’ll be seeing some of you there this week. If we haven’t met yet, I hope we’ll find the chance to say hello at some point.

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Filed Under: BlogHer11, me me me · Tagged: