A Mommy Story

As we were driving home from school yesterday, the kids suddenly struck up a conversation about the upcoming Easter holiday:

Mira: What do you think the Easter bunny looks like?

Cordy: I think he looks like a white bunny with white sparkles all around him.

Mira: I think he’s bigger than a regular bunny. Like as big as a grown up.

Cordy: NO! He’s a normal sized white bunny with white sparkles all around him!

Mira: But when we’ve seen the Easter bunny he’s always looked bigger.

Cordy: Maybe he can change size so he’s big enough for pictures?

Mira: Or maybe the Easter bunny is just a person in a suit.

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I was a little stunned by Mira’s flat statement. Had she really figured it all out at only five years old?

I can’t remember when exactly I stopped believing in Santa and the Easter bunny. I think I was older than five, but I’m not sure. It’s partially blurry to me because there was a period of time when I knew they weren’t real but never told anyone I knew it for fear that I would stop getting Easter baskets and presents from Santa. Why give up a good thing, right?

Mira seemed to believe in Santa this last Christmas, but there have been plenty of clues that she is starting to wise up to the ways of the world. I blame this partially on Aaron’s involvement in a charity organization where he dresses up as a superhero to visit sick children or support charity events.

At these events, kids genuinely believe he’s Superman. Mira, however, knows that the man in the costume is really her dad. It took awhile for us to teach Mira not to spoil it for everyone by telling each kid who lit up at seeing one of their favorite superheroes, “It’s really just my daddy in a costume.”

So now she looks at any person in costume and wonders if they’re the real thing or just someone pretending to be that character.

Even at Disney World last month, she occasionally struggled to force that doubt from her mind. During most character visits, she suspended any disbelief and fully fell into the magic of seeing her favorite Disney stars.

But there were moments that caught us by surprise. Just after meeting Stitch in Tomorrowland, she wondered how he was out on the street when he was also across the way appearing in his ride. “Maybe his ride is taking a break right now?” we suggested.

Mira frowned. “Or maybe they just have more than one Stitch.”

Later that day, we were rushing to meet the princesses near the entrance to Main Street before we then ran to the other end of Main Street for dinner at the castle.

We were hoping to meet Rapunzel, although Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty were also part of the meet-and-greet. Mira and Cordy still happily met with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, even knowing we’d see them at dinner in less than an hour.

As Mira gave Cinderella a hug, I told her, “You’ll see her again in just a little bit at dinner.”

“She’ll be at the castle, too?” Mira looked puzzled.

“Yes, she will,” I responded. “She’ll have to hurry like we will so she can get there in time.”

Mira thought for a moment, then motioned for me to lean down so she could quietly tell me something. I bent down closer to her and she said, “Or maybe they have another person playing Cinderella in the castle, too.”

She’s in on the secret. But at the same time, she doesn’t seem to care. Mira still hugged Cinderella at the castle and acted like she was the only Cinderella there could ever be.

In some ways I’m sad that she’s figuring it all out. I wanted her to believe there was magic in the world for just a little longer. But she’s too clever for that and insists on figuring out every mystery.

I’m not ready for my little one to grow up.