A Mommy Story

Cordelia and I had the day to spend together (daddy had a film shoot), so we visited my mom and grandmother.

This morning, as I tried to put her coat on her (and we know how she feels about that), she stomped her feet up and down and shouted, “Nnnnnaaajjj nnnaaagggghhhhh!” in her deepest, most growl-y (is that a word?) voice ever.

The tone and inflection in her voice sounded like toddler-ese for “Back the hell off and put the damn coat down!” Stunned, I let go of her coat and just looked at her as she let out a big huff and glared at me.

Later, while at lunch with my mom, I said, “I think Cordy cursed at me today.”

“Really? What did she say?”

“Well, I don’t know. It wasn’t any actual curse words. More like swearing in some baby language.”

“She may have been upset, but I doubt she was swearing at you.”

At this point, it’s mid-afternoon, and Cordy is wearing down fast. We go back to my grandmother’s house to install antivirus updates on my grandmother’s computer. I swear I’m my family’s tech support.

My mom attempted to grab Cordy to take her shoes off, and was met with flailing toddler arms and a sharp, deep, growl-y, “Aaaaaannnyyyaagghhhhyyyyjjjjnnnaag!” Mom let go of her and Cordy gave a stomp of her foot and a huff, as if to say, “That’s right, bitch. I said leave me alone.“

Mom looked at me, and then we both burst out laughing. “She really is swearing at us!”

“I told you!”

“You were right – we’re being cussed out and don’t even know what we’re being called.”

So what do you do when a toddler swears at you in gibberish? I know we probably shouldn’t laugh at her, but it is so damn funny, and she’s so serious about it. The growl in her voice is almost primal, and her little eyebrows knit together with her angry glare. I certainly can’t punish her for it, since I have no idea what she’s saying. For all I know, “nnnnaaayyyyggghhh!” could mean, “Please remove your hands from me.”

For now, I’m just trying to stifle my laughter and ignore the behavior. After all, if this is how she acts now, we’re in for it once she begins to mimic others and is stuck in traffic with her daddy.

I think we’re one step away from a sailor suit and a cigar for our little foul-mouthed tot.