We had a quiet Easter this year. Instead of choosing to go out to eat, and dealing with the possibility of Cordy melting down in her Easter finest, it was decided to have a quiet meal at my grandmother’s house, where Cordy didn’t have to dress up, and she could run around the house all she wanted before and after the meal.
The meal was excellent, and soon afterwards Aunt Dot began handing out her goodie bags to everyone. Well, not quite everyone – this year she forgot about Aaron, but made it up to him by giving him a half-empty tray of chocolate bunnies, and then some Peeps she found in the bottom of her bag. Aaron traded one of the chocolate bunnies to another family member for a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg, so he was content.
For those who are new and don’t know about Aunt Dot, you can read more here and here.
I didn’t come out too bad this year: I got my standard bag of cashews. She always gets me large containers of cashews, and usually chewy, old cashews, too. Why in the world she thinks I like cashews this much I’ll never know. I mean, sure, I like nuts as much as the next person, but a pound of cashews each holiday? Lay off the nuts. Luckily, that’s all I got, so I had less to dispose of.
Cordy’s bag contained a chocolate rose that she can’t eat (the thing is enormous and hard as a rock), a cute Little People person in an egg, and a bag of Goldfish crackers. Cordy’s eyes lit up when she saw the “fishies!”, but mine equally lit up when I saw the expiration date that proved these “fishies” were meant for the garbage bin and not her mouth. My mom distracted her with some pretzels, and all was well. I suppose I should have brought Aunt Dot’s birthday gift for Cordy with us, since it’s now the right time of year.
My mom once again won this year’s worst gift award. Last Easter she won for her expired box of cake mix. This year, however, was quite an unexpected gift. My mom has collected brown or brown and white cows for some time. She does not like black and white cows. Aunt Dot, of course, always gets her black and white cows, despite my mom telling her over and over that she only collects brown cows.
So this year, mom reaches into her bag and pulls out this:
I’m laughing so hard I’m going to choke.
Dawson calls Goldfish crackers, “fishies”, too. And yesterday he had some at Grandma’s house. Thankfully they were not expired.
As for cows — my mother grew up on a farm and she collects the Holsteins (black and white) and she started me on the same collection. After all these years I’m kind of tired of looking at them.
Cordy’s cow-poop candy dispenser would have fit in perfectly at our house!
Hope the Easter was happy!
The pooping cow is priceless!
EWWWWW!
Don’t eat it!
Oh, Aunt Dot. The cow is pretty freakin hysterical. Chris’ grandmother, who regularly gives me a box of tetley tea or dishwashing soap as a present, gave Bee socks. That she’ll wear when she’s ten. I didn’t get anything.
LOVE IT!
I need one of those things for my desk.
P.S. Love the new look.
YEah, I totally got you beat for the worst gift this holiday. My husband and I both received, are you ready for this?
At home Colon/rectal cancer tests.
Nothing says Happy Easter like Poopy Papers.
Tracey – you totally win. Ew.
hey christy- i was reading about diaper rash at cirque du mommy. i’ve heard good things about bag balm-sold in a tin, and butt paste. but what i wanted to suggest is coating her bum with a thick layer of something before you put her down for her nap, it might help avoid the rash, hope it helps! i couldn’t log in over there, and i couldn’t find an email address for you, sorry about the off topic reply
I have to admit…..as the daughter of a dairy farmer and wife to a beef farmer, I think I have received/given at least 10 of those throughout my life.
Don’t know why.. but there is something damn funny about a pooping cow.
OMG..i am seriously trying so hard not to wake my family with my laughter…your aut is KILLING me with her “gifts”
BTW..I would have smacked her over the bunny incident teasing Cordy..really, I would have!
OmiGAWD that is funny. I have seen a handmade wooden moose that does the same. Of course, our friends who own it only put brown candy in it, too… lovely.
I am also amused because your Auntie Dot has all the gift-giving talent of Slipshod’s late Auntie Dot – no kidding!
I think we all have aunt dots in our families 🙂
I forgot to mention that Slipshod’s Auntie Dot gave us a box of stuff for our wedding that looked like it was stuff she had just cleaned out of a kitchen drawer. Including plastic cookie cutters that still had pieces of dough in them… seriously…
Oh that is too funny! I love Aunt Dot stories. She reminds me so much of my FIL and grandfather. They both give such random-ass gifts. For Christmas we got cardboard coasters from the bar. My FIL stole them and gave them to us for Christmas!
Reminds me of the snowman that always makes its way into our Xmas White Elephant game at work – that poops snowballs.
🙂
Where in the world does she find these things???!!!