Over the weekend, Aaron and I left Columbus to celebrate our 6th anniversary. It’s still a little odd for me to think that only six years ago, Cordy wasn’t even a concept in our heads yet. Of course, six years ago I never thought any of what I’m doing now – blogging, nursing school – would be in my life.
Six years didn’t have quite the impact that five did, probably because our sixth year of marriage was one of those years we’d like to quietly forget. Job loss, no health insurance, relationship issues and marriage therapy clouded much of the year. But we’re still together, we’re relatively healthy, and we’re doing our best to hold everything together – that’s our silver lining.
The best part of getting out of town was leaving the kids with Camp Grandma. We spent most of the weekend chatting with friends that we rarely get to see due to distance and busy lives. On Saturday evening, after a day of relaxing with friends, the two of us left for dinner at a nice restaurant.
It was during dinner that Aaron told me, “We need to do this more often, get away without the kids.”
I smiled and said, “Well, that would certainly be nice…”
He then said, “I was watching you today while you talked with friends, and you looked five years younger.”
I laughed. “It must have been the light.”
“No, really. You looked so much younger again.”
It seems that a single afternoon with a large group of friends, no children, and no immediate stress somehow subtracted five years from my face. I can’t prove this, of course, but he was certain of it.
I’d like to believe I did look younger. I often miss the “old” me, the me who isn’t spending all her time worrying about doing everything right for her kids, making sure all the bills are paid, and trying to balance the checkbook. I hate the person I am at the end of the day, when my eyes are dull and bloodshot, and the bags under my eyes have bags of their own. When I’m short with Cordy and Mira, grumpy around Aaron, and wishing I could get five minutes – just FIVE minutes – to myself, without someone needing something or a child sitting in my lap.
If the fountain of youth is an escape from what stresses you, I know I will never have eternal youth. Because no matter how much I might want it, my children need me here and not at that fountain. I can’t avoid paying the bills, and the checking account won’t replenish itself.
But I will enjoy those brief moments pausing at that fountain, if only to take a sip and renew my spirit for a little while.
Get a babysitter on a regular basis, man. I’m in my 20s and I still babysit for a family that I did in my teens. (They have 3 kids, 6, 8 and 10. I started when the 10 year old was 1. I’m not old. No I’m not).
The parents take off to do dinner a movie, dance lessons, see a play, whatever else. They say it gives them their sanity back, and it seems true. They’ll look pretty frazzled when I get there and pretty happy (nawmsayin? *wink*) when they get home.
And the magic of a sitter in their 20s means you don’t have to drive her home. I shall not elaborate.
I’m so glad you got away. My husband says I am a different person the minute we get in the car after the Camp Grandma dropoff.
It goes deeper than the rejuvenation of a weekly night out. Though that’s restorative too, it’s not as deep as when you know you have more than a couple of hours off — not only no bedtime, but also no morning hassles as well.
It may have something to do with having a child on the spectrum as well — so much of my energy goes to helping interpret the world to him and him to the world. (Less of the second part now that he’s getting older.)
Although I am not a parent yet, I remember my mom and dad having date nights or weekends and leaving us with the grandparents. Not only was it good for them and their marriage but it was nice for my brother and I to spend time with my grandparents as well.
I really cherish those memories and I am sure that your girls will too!
Congratulations! May the seventh year bring good jobs, health insurance, and even more love than you have already.
It’s so hard not to snap at your loved ones, even though they are the ones you love the most. I’m dealing with that now.
Happy anniversary and I hope this year is much better for you all.
excellent!
i got the same effect by quitting my job of 29 years and finding something else.
who knew!
Time alone with your husband, time alone with yourself. These are the things we need the most that are in the shortest supply.
Glad you had a chance to reconnect. It really does do a world of good doesn’t it?
It’s the truth, isn’t it? The benefits of a little time to ourselves can be seen in our faces.
Happy anniversary – hope this year is smoother than last.
You’re right about that anti-aging strategy. I never feel more run-down, more ancient than when I’ve gone for a while with too many stresses and no break. I’m pretty much there right now, but I have a weekend away in April to look forward to. Keeping me sane, definitely.
It’s amazing what getting away can do.
Congrats!
[And my word verification is DORKS! haha]
Brief respites at the fountain of youth will do a world of good.
Date nights are critical for a marriage. So are girls nights outs. You need time to get away-time to be you. Many hugs to you my friend-anytime you want a get away up here to hang out I will gladly kick one of the girls to the sofa!