The Transportation Situation

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have seen my frequent complaints about the buses for our elementary school. We’re a few weeks into the school year now, so you’d think that any issues with transportation would have been smoothed out by now, right? Ha.

I completely gave up on the afternoon bus after it was clear that they were never going to make it to our house in under an hour and a half, and usually longer than that. Driving an hour round-trip is inconvenient for me, but I’m finding it makes for much happier little girls. And they are usually home, have eaten a snack and finished homework before the bus would have even been at our door.

The morning bus is still a problem, though. I can count on one hand the number of times it’s been here on time (within 5-10 minutes of scheduled time) in the past 3.5 weeks and still have fingers available.

There are two big problems with the morning bus being late. First, we have to wait forever at the door for the bus. Two kids waiting at the door for 5-10 minutes are a little rowdy. Two kids waiting at the door for over 20 minutes start to get into trouble quickly. And since I have to walk them out to the bus, it means I can’t get much done until it shows up, either.

The bigger issue is with Cordy, though. With the bus getting here late, it turns out it was arriving late to school, too. And Cordy, who is Type-A to the extreme with her autism, really does not like being late.

We didn’t know anything about this until her special-needs support teacher emailed us last Wednesday to report that Cordy had a meltdown at school that day. The bus arrived late to school, which immediately threw her off. She was anxious that she would have a “black mark” on her record for being late, and even though everyone reassured her that she wasn’t responsible, she still believed she was in trouble.

Then later in the day, her class was lined up for recess and her second grade teacher had to talk loudly (“yell”) so that her class could hear her over the chatter and the three fans trying to keep the classroom cool. She was trying to get the attention of the whole class, but Cordy was convinced the teacher was yelling at her for being late that day. Cordy became upset, hiding under her desk and crying, and had to be taken to the special-needs classroom for a time out.

After she calmed down, she went back to her class, but needed an aide with her for the rest of the day. Since then she’s still anxious on days when the bus is late, and is still diving under her desk when the teacher gets too loud. Her teachers are very understanding, and the school has been doing everything possible to complain to transportation to get the issue corrected.

On Tuesday, we waited for the bus for nearly an hour. The last fifteen minutes of that time was spent on hold on the phone as I waited to speak to someone in transportation to find out where the bus might be. I finally gave up, packed the girls in the car and drove them to school, knowing that we would be late even with driving straight there. Cordy was anxious, but we talked the entire way there about how it wasn’t her fault and her teachers were just as upset with the bus for being late.

We got to school five minutes late. I walked in with her, met up with her teacher so Cordy understood that we were all in agreement that she wasn’t in trouble, and then I left. I later learned the bus arrived at 9:30am, half an hour after the school day started. WOW.

Angry emails to the district’s transportation department were sent. (Since it’s impossible to get to them by phone.) The school’s principal assured us she was also working on the problem from her side, too, and that our bus wasn’t the only one having troubles arriving on time.

And then yesterday? The bus was four minutes early! Good thing I opened the door ahead of time.

Problem solved? Too soon to tell, but I hope so.

It’s ridiculous that the transportation department can’t get buses to school on time. Beyond the anxiety issues it’s causing with Cordy, children arriving late to school affects the entire school. It’s distracting to the classrooms, and it’s stealing precious time from these kids that should be spent in education, not sitting on a late bus.



End of Summer

School begins on Wednesday, and it couldn’t come soon enough. It’s been two weeks since summer camp ended, which means it’s been two weeks of a new, less structured routine for Cordy that has kept her on edge every day.

I hate this period between camp and school – I can’t keep her entertained when I have to work, but she gets anxious and frustrated by no solid routine. Mira picks up on her anxiety and, right out of the Little Siblings Handbook, chooses to antagonize her. It’s really a two week period of survival around here, and we all celebrate when school begins again.

The good news is that Mira will be attending Cordy’s school for kindergarten. There was some question last year about if they would find a seat for Mira, since the school isn’t our home school and they didn’t accept any students from the lottery. The prospect of having two kids at two schools on opposite sides of Columbus was less than ideal, so I appealed to the principal at Cordy’s school, begging for Mira to be admitted.

Begging isn’t an exaggeration, either. I considered sending flowers and baked goods as well, but the principal told me at the end of May that it was looking good for Mira and to just be patient through the summer.

Patient is hard for me.

It took all summer, but two weeks ago we finally received the letter telling us that Mira was accepted. Whew. Now I only need to worry that they won’t get kicked off the bus for fighting with each other every morning. Or that Mira will make the principal regret her decision when she finds out that Mira is the opposite of Cordy.

Even though I’m counting down the hours until I can hand them their backpacks and send them back to school, we did get the chance to take a quick family vacation before the end of summer. Mini-vacation, I guess you could call it. Last Thursday and Friday were spent in northern Ohio at Lake Erie. (Hence why this blog sat quiet last week.)

I’ll be writing more on it this week, but here’s a quick preview:

Full report coming soon, including details of how Cordy and I got booted from an amusement park ride.



Dye-Free in a Brightly Colored World

A few weeks ago Cordy came home from summer camp with bright blue streaks down her legs and blue around her mouth. I could already smell the artificial raspberry flavor, but still asked her about how she ended up covered in blue. “We had popsicles at camp!” she happily explained.

“But sweetie, you know brightly colored foods aren’t good for you.”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, “but it was a special treat!”

And that special treat left her distracted and less in control for days. Sigh.

When summer camp started, I asked about bringing in dye-free foods for snack time. They said we could but that it probably wasn’t necessary, as they were making efforts at healthy snacks this year and couldn’t think of any that would have dyes in them. Fruit, water, all-natural lemonade, graham crackers, cheese sticks, etc – all safe for Cordy to eat. With that knowledge, and a reminder to everyone about Cordy needing to avoid food dyes, I assumed we were in the clear when it came to snacks.

I guess I didn’t factor in “special” treats. Her class takes several field trips, and as a result they sometimes get a treat for the kids when they’re out and about. Cordy is aware that artificial food dyes make her feel bad and that she shouldn’t eat them, but she’s also a seven year old who, at that age, would have to show the impulse control of a zen master to say no to a treat when everyone else was getting one.

We consider her reaction to artificial food dyes an “allergy” even though it technically isn’t. It’s listed on all of her medical forms under allergy simply because it’s too complicated to provide the full explanation. Allergy produces a better response from others than “sensitivity” so that’s what we call it to get their attention. Only it still gets overlooked by teachers and caregivers far too often. It’s not life-threatening so therefore it isn’t given the same consideration as a peanut or shellfish allergy.

But we know it’s there. We’ve seen the difference between Cordy exposed to food dyes and Cordy without them. When she’s dye-free (and by that I mean hasn’t had any in over a week), she’s calmer, better able to focus, and seems more present in our world. Her repetitive behaviors (pacing back and forth, flapping, etc) are decreased, too. She’s more in control of herself and seems happier as a result.

When she was younger, people tried to tell me it wasn’t the dyes – we were just giving her too much sugar. So I set up my own test. I kept her dye free for over a week, then gave her a sucker (rock candy) that had no dye in it – pure sugar only. No reaction.

Days later, I gave her the same thing, only this one was bright blue with artificial coloring. Forty minutes later, the signs were there: she couldn’t sit still, she was irritable, emotionally out-of-control, and she wasn’t as interactive with us. She stayed like that for days, just from one little blue sucker. It was a frightening realization.

We’re not perfect with keeping her dye free, but we try to minimize the damage. Still, it’s very hard to find treats free of dyes. Annie’s makes fruit snacks without the artificial coloring. And Welch’s has all natural freeze-and-eat juice popsicles that look very similar to the artificial junk ones.

I also was recently told about Unreal, a line of candy that is free of artificial food dyes, but still looks and tastes like many of the popular candies we see everyday. It’s just rolling out, so it’s still hard to find, but I did manage to track down and buy it at Michael’s craft store. Their version of M&Ms? Really good.

So after the blue popsicle incident, we brought a bag full of Cordy’s treats to her summer camp to hand out to her when others are getting treats she can’t have. She’s usually pretty understanding about it, especially when we can give her some of the more yummy treats. But I know she longs for Starburst or a sucker now and then.

I only wish more food manufacturers would remove the bright food dyes from their foods. There’s no nutritional value to these dyes and there are natural dyes that can be used instead. Don’t believe me? Look at McDonald’s new Cherry Berry Chiller. That drink is about as bright pink-red as it could possibly be without glowing. I thought for sure it was one giant cocktail of dyes and artificial flavors, but it isn’t. It gets all of its color from fruit and vegetable sources, and the flavoring is all natural fruit juice and puree.

Who expected that?  If McDonald’s can do it, there’s no reason other companies can’t do it, too.

I hear more and more stories of parents who are discovering their kids are sensitive to food dyes. I know we’re not alone in experiencing some kind of adverse reaction to dyes. Research has linked it to hyperactivity. Some kids get rashes and eczema from red food dye. Others have stomach discomfort. Others – like Cordy – have various behavioral changes. And these dyes are in everything the kids come in contact with, from candy to mac and cheese, to chewable pain relievers and even toothpaste.

Europe has already figured this out, and most foods there are artificial-dye-free or contain warnings about having artificial coloring int them. What’s taking the United States so long to catch up with a public health issues that other first world countries have already known and addressed?

For now, we continue reading every label and try to educate those who care for our daughter about the importance of keeping her dye-free. It’s not that we’re crunchy green parents against all processed foods (because our grocery cart would prove we’re not) – it really is a matter of our daughter’s health.

Photo credit: Photos by *Micky 



Autism Awareness and Defining the Child

I knew that Monday was autism awareness day, and I even briefly considered writing something specifically for it. But then life and work got in the way, along with my own stubbornness at feeling obligated to write about a topic just because it’s a designated day and others are doing it. (Yes, I’m rebellious towards the dumbest things.)

The truth is, I didn’t really know what to say. My family has a child with autism. One day of awareness, wrapped in a month of awareness is awesome, but around here it’s an everyday thing.

Way back when I started this blog, I had no idea Cordy would be diagnosed with autism. I knew what it was, vaguely, but had little personal experience. Our autism indoctrination was then intense from ages three to five, a time when we wondered what the future might hold for our daughter, and for us. It was a frightening period as we witnessed just how different our child was from others, and endured several difficult therapies to give her the best shot at a “normal” life.

Now? She’s in first grade, completely mainstreamed. She reads at a third grade level and does well in her other subjects. Her transition was a little rough at the start of the year, but her teacher reports that her behavior is no worse than other kids in the class. To be honest, her behavior is better than some of the other kids – she often comes home with awards for no behavior issues for the week. Yes, she’s quirky and doesn’t understand a lot of social cues, but she can function in a classroom and (mostly) in public.

People still occasionally question if Cordy really has autism. While it does frustrate me to hear it (do they think we’re making it up?) I’m also learning to see their opinions as a positive statement. Cordy has made so much progress that a quick meeting might convince you that she’s a typical kid. Of course, the downside of this is that when her more unpleasant quirks do show themselves, the judgment from strangers and acquaintances doesn’t take into account that she has autism. I guess that’s where autism awareness education comes into play.

I’m rarely considered among “special needs” bloggers, because Cordy’s autism is only one small part of my story. But even if I’m not on the lists, I still consider myself a special needs blogger and draw much of my own strength from reading the heartfelt posts of others. (Indeed, they’re the ones who held me up when I felt like I couldn’t handle it all early on.) Cordy’s autism may not always be in the front of my mind, but it’s a part of who she is and influences all aspects of our lives, even if it isn’t routinely discussed.

Do I want people to know that Cordy has autism? Sure, as long as they don’t define her only by that aspect. She’s an avid reader and can rarely be found without a book in her hand. She loves soccer. When she’s happy, she skips and bounces along like Tigger. She can bring a smile to nearly anyone’s face. Depending on the day, she wants to be a storyteller, a cook, a seamstress, a rock star, a vet, or a journalist when she grows up. But she also insists she wants to be a mommy, too.

So yes, I think we should do our part to educate others about autism, but I believe in looking at it from a whole-person approach. This is Cordy, she has autism, but she also has a lot of really cool interests and thoughts. Her quirky collection of behaviors just happen to have a name, while the rest of us have yet to figure out what to call our quirks. (And oh, we’re a quirky family, have no doubt!) Her challenges might be more than the average person, and we’ll continue to do anything she needs to help her overcome or at least cope with those challenges, but she also has a wealth of talents that some could only hope to have.

In total: she’s just Cordy, autism and all.

This is how she always wants to pose for photos – as a “superstar.”


Adventures in Social Skills

Yesterday at school, as reported to me by Cordy’s teacher:

Teacher: Cordy, what snacks do they have in Room 14?

(Note: Room 14 is the special needs class Cordy visits at the end of the day.)

Cordy: It’s a secret. If you want a snack, then you need to go home and cook.

Thank goodness her teacher has a sense of humor and found it funny. Although I’m not entirely certain Cordy meant it to be funny. If that’s the case, then I’m REALLY glad her teacher has a sense of humor.
Every social interaction is a learning opportunity, right?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...