Making Time For Family Time

Life has been a blur lately. I work third shift, Aaron works first shift, the kids are both in summer camp…it often feels like we’re all just passing by each other in the evening.

Weekends are full of to-do’s. I’m leaving this week for BlogHer. Aaron just got back from a week long trip to San Diego Comic Con. (I would have told you all, but I didn’t feel like announcing to the entire Internet that my husband was away from home for a week.)

To sum up: we’re disconnected.

Which is why when I was given the opportunity to take a close to home vacation with my family, I jumped at the chance. We spent last weekend at Cedar Point and Lake Erie, a family vacation that we’ve always wanted and never thought we had the time to take.

And you know what? We reconnected. We enjoyed spending time together, laughing together, playing together, and making memories together.

And we didn’t even have to go that far to do it.

Please go read the full recap of our day at Cedar Point, and our day seeing the sights around Lake Erie. It was far too many memories to include in just one blog post.

(Bonus: there’s video of a live bison with it’s head in our car window. Seriously. Click the links and find out for yourself.)



A Car Story, Part Two: The Ford Fusion Hybrid

I was a little misty-eyed when I had to give the keys to the Ford Focus back to the Ford representative after five days of fun. But my sadness quickly dissipated when he handed me the keys to the Ford Fusion hybrid waiting in my driveway.

Shiny!
I’ve only had the chance to drive a hybrid once before, and that was for about 5 minutes back in 2006. Hybrid vehicles have come a long way since then, and the Fusion is nothing like the ultra-small original hybrid cars.

My first impression of the car was that it felt so…grown up. I don’t mean it looks old by any means, but it presents an image of professionalism, success and distinguished style. It reminded me a lot of the Ford Taurus with a fresh twist on the trustworthy mid-size family sedan.

Inside the car was certainly nothing old or predictable. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I was immediately impressed by the enormous amount of space. Lots of leg room, lots of head room, and plenty of width, too. My husband and I could sit in the front seats without bumping elbows, and the girls had plenty of room for each of their booster seats in the backseat, far enough apart that they couldn’t easily annoy each other. If needed, there was enough room in the backseat to squeeze an average sized adult between the two booster seats.

In the center of the dash was the Ford SYNC touch screen computer, with many of the same features as the Ford Focus. The menus were designed to look a little more subdued than the same menus on the Focus, but were still just as easy to navigate. The steering wheel also contained the same controls for music selection, volume, and the voice-activated command system.

But the real test was driving the Fusion. Would a hybrid be able to deliver as much power as a traditional gas engine? I turned the key…and heard nothing. My first thought was that the car had somehow died in my driveway, and panic set in as I wondered how I was going to get them to come fix it. Sure, the radio came on and everything on the console had come to life, but there was no sound from the engine.

Then I noticed the air conditioning was working. Hmmm, I thought, the air conditioning usually doesn’t work unless the engine is on. So I slowly placed the car into reverse and attempted to back out of the driveway. And there was power! I did not expect that the Fusion would make NO NOISE AT ALL when I started it. Amazing!

(Side note: parents, don’t buy hybrids for your teens. You’ll never hear them sneaking out of the driveway in the car.)

After recovering from the shock of the whisper-quiet start, I then noticed the rear-view camera display on the touch screen. It gave me a clear view of everything behind the car when it’s in reverse, and even beeps if it thinks I’m getting too close to anything. This could be a very useful feature for parents of small children, or anyone who lives anywhere near small children and animals. When I shifted back into drive, the camera display vanished again.

But how does it drive, you ask? Well, it drives just like any other car. I didn’t notice any lack of power and I didn’t really notice when the car was using the battery versus the gas engine power. In fact, the Fusion hybrid has an impressive acceleration. There are displays on the dash that show you when you’re using battery power and when you’re recycling braking energy back into power for the battery. It was difficult to not watch the little meter going up and down at first – watching where I was driving was more important!

On the right side of the display is a fun little graphic of a vine with leaves. The more responsible you drive (driving in such a way as to use the battery more than the gas engine and be eco-friendly) the more leaves appear on the vine. It’s like a game to see how many leaves you can get on that vine, and you find yourself competing against…well…yourself, trying to get more leaves with each trip.

Lots of leaves – I win!

What I really like:
– the display told me I had 580 miles to go until empty when I first got the car…580 MILES on one tank of gas! And by driving the car responsibly, I kept that number fairly high.
– the amount of room in the Fusion is incredible, making it very comfortable to drive
– the hybrid’s battery usage display is fun to monitor, challenging you to drive better to preserve gas
– such a smooth, easy car to drive with no noticeable shifting from battery to gas and plenty of power

What I don’t like so much:
– this hybrid is not for you if you make a lot of stops close together. Stopping and starting means you rely less on the battery and more on the gas. If you run lots of short errands, a traditional Fusion might be a better choice for you.
– the backup camera can be distracting at first. Backing out of a parking space or my driveway, it always caught my eye, but I still felt like I needed to look behind me as well. If you’re as easy to distract as me, that camera could do more harm than good.

Overall, the Ford Fusion hybrid was a gorgeous car that I enjoyed driving. I received a few compliments on it from strangers at the grocery store and the mall, and I felt rather proud of driving such a stylish and eco-friendly vehicle.

If I had to choose from the Fusion or the Focus, which would I pick? Tough call. I think at this point in my life I’d probably pick the Focus. It has a slightly younger, zippy feel to it, and while it is smaller I actually like the cozy feel for a sedan, especially since we also have an SUV if we need a larger vehicle.

But at the same time, I can see myself preferring the Fusion when my daughters are a little older, have more stuff to carry around, and need even more space apart from each other.

(Full disclosure: Ford let me borrow these two cars for five days each. No other compensation was provided, and I still had to buy my own gas.)



A Car Story, Featuring The Ford Focus

So far this summer, the old car has been holding up well. With an odometer closing in on the 200K mark, I’m amazed that it’s still going, yet still cautious enough to never put the kids in that car for any long trips. I know it has little life left to it, but I’m hoping it’ll give us some time to decide what its replacement will be.

I’ve already been scouting the different auto websites looking for our next great family car. While I love looking at the photos, it’s so hard to get a good idea of how the car will be without actually driving it. Even worse, most dealers will only let you test drive it for a short drive – who can know from that short of a trial that this car won’t leave them with a stiff neck or sore butt two hours into a trip to Chicago?

After the brakes fiasco with NTB (still ongoing, by the way), I received an e-mail from Ford asking if I wanted to give any of their family cars a try. And they made me laugh by referencing my brakes post and apologizing if their outreach was “too soon” after dealing with such auto woe.

I explained to Ford what I was looking for, and they offered to loan me two vehicles for five days each: the Ford Focus Hatchback and the Ford Fusion Hybrid. These two vehicles have been on my replacement car short list, so I was excited to try them out. Also, it’s been years since I owned an American car – I was curious to see how the quality has changed since the spirit of my Dodge Spirit left this earth and moved on to the great highway in the sky in 2000.

Short answer: I was totally blown away by both of these Ford cars.

(Not into cars? You can stop here and just take my word for it. Otherwise, keep reading for the long answer.)

The Ford Focus
The first car that arrived in my driveway was the Ford Focus hatchback. I test drove a Ford Focus the first year it was produced, and at the time I wasn’t impressed. The new Focus, however, is nothing like the one I tried all those years ago.

well hello there, my precious

Sitting in the driver’s seat for the first time, I could only think, OMG, how will I figure out all of these controls? Then when I turned on the car and saw the touch screen come to life, I was momentarily transformed into a cave person, staring in wonder at the shiny, magical technology in front of me.

Then the blogger in me snapped back to life and I began playing with all of the controls. Actually, most of the car is pretty intuitive. The touch screen computer controls nearly everything: music, climate control, navigation. Below the touch screen are the manual controls for the audio system and climate control, in case touch screens are intimidating to you. The steering wheel also has controls on it for the audio system, bluetooth phone capabilities, and voice-activated SYNC.

the steering wheel controls all

I must stop at this point to declare I LOVE the voice-activated SYNC feature. It may just be the coolest feature ever. Say you’re listening to your iPod (plugged in using your USB sync cable) and decide that you really want to hear the song Mama Mia? Just activate the voice command system by touching the control on the steering wheel, then tell it “Play song Mama Mia.” It repeats the command back to you, and then? It finds and plays the flippin’ song!

close up of the touch screen

You can also use voice commands to find songs by an artist, album, or playlist, as well as using it for assistance with the navigation system. I’ve heard others complain that the system doesn’t work as well if you have an accent, but this accent-less midwesterner wouldn’t know.

On the road, the Focus is a great car to drive. The steering is sensitive and responsive, it can accelerate quickly in most situations and despite being a “small” sedan, there’s plenty of leg room, even in the backseat. The hatchback is also a welcome addition to this car. It’s easy to open, and provides a variety of options for hauling big things. Going to IKEA? You’ll want the hatchback. With the back seats down, you can fit a lot of Swedish modern design in there.

What I liked:
– SYNC is a tech-lover’s dream come true in a car
– small in size, yet plenty of room for adults or car seats in the back seat
– up to 40 miles to the gallon on the highway!!
– ultra comfortable driver’s seat that can be adjusted a million different ways
– fun to drive: with the onboard technology and the responsiveness of the transmission, I really enjoyed driving this zippy little car
– USB ports in the center console allow you to plug in media devices and keep them concealed so you don’t have to unplug and hide them at each stop

center console USB & media ports

What I didn’t like:
– while acceleration is great, it does hesitate a little on a really hot day when the A/C is on full blast (of course, I hesitate a little on really hot days, too)
– not a tremendous amount of headroom if you’re a tall person or like to sit up high in the driver’s seat
– the trunk space feels a little small when the back seats are in use: lots of height in the space, but not a lot of width or depth

could still hide a body, though…
Overall, I was very happy with this car, and by the end of my five day test drive it already felt like mine. I had learned the systems and controls so quickly that I was using the voice system to request songs without even thinking about it. It felt comfortable and very similar to my current old car. Well, aside from the fact that it makes my old car look like a Model T, technology-wise.
Stay tuned for my report on the Ford Fusion Hybrid.
(Full disclosure: Ford let me borrow these two cars for five days each. No other compensation was provided, and I still had to buy my own gas.)


Do You Trust Your Mechanic? Are Your REALLY Sure?

(I don’t like to do this, but I’m totally calling out a company for bad service. Actually, make that dangerous service.)

We are a family of two cars – one small sedan and one SUV. The rule is that we run them until they die, and then we replace the dead one with another similar in style. That means we usually only have one car payment to worry about, although we are often playing the game of “When will this car decide it’s done?” as we squeeze the last drops of life from it.

Our current sedan is the very first new car I ever purchased on my own. It’s a 2000 model and currently has 189,000 miles on it. Yes, I’ve tried to take good care of it to get it to this point. The dealer is fairly far from our house, so for the last year or two we’ve been taking both cars to NTB (National Tire & Battery, a division of Tire Kingdom) for minor services because it’s just down the road.

A few months ago, I had taken the sedan to NTB for service, and while there they told me the brakes would need to be replaced soon. I asked if it needed to be done that day, and they told me it could wait a little longer. Having no money to get it done at that time, I was glad to hear we could wait a little longer.

Fast forward to mid-week last week. The sedan had started making a grinding sound when braking (aka: we may have waited a little too long), so we took it back to NTB and asked them to replace the brakes and rotors. They took the keys and told us it would be done by the end of the day.

When Aaron came back to get the car, they told him that they didn’t change the brakes because the brakes were fine. We were completely puzzled by this – didn’t they tell us last time they needed replaced? And if they were fine, what was that grinding sound? The mechanic told Aaron that the pads were fine and the brakes just had a rust ring on them that was causing the grinding noise. He advised us to “ride the brakes hard” to help clear off the rust and said nothing more needed done at this time. We trusted this assessment and left, happy to save some money.

But the story doesn’t end there. That grinding sound? It only got worse. In fact, braking seemed to get harder – I felt like I had to shove my foot through the floor to brake. I couldn’t be reassured by the diagnosis that our brakes were fine. I’ve been with this car for most of its 189,000 miles – I know when something feels wrong.

Being the constant worrier, I asked Aaron to take it to a different mechanic for a second opinion. On Sunday he took it to a different local shop, asking them to check our brakes. At that point an entirely different story about our brakes was relayed to us. The brake pads still had thickness on the outside, but the inside of each pad was shot. We could see the rotors were damaged, and the calipers needed replaced as well. We were lucky that we hadn’t suffered a complete brake failure before bringing it to them.

So one day and $640 later, my little sedan was fitted with a new brake system that doesn’t make a peep (or grind) and kicks in with the smallest amount of pressure on the pedal. And at 189,000 miles, it runs like it’s barely at 100,00 miles. I didn’t like spending all the money on it, but I’m so thankful to the second mechanic (Firestone, if you’d like to know) for taking the time to properly inspect the brakes and show us exactly what the problem was.

I can’t say for certain if NTB carelessly neglected to do a full inspection of the brakes and instead only took a quick glance at the outside of them, or if they lied to us because they were busy that day. Either way, I’m horrified that such neglect for safety was displayed by NTB. We trusted them to keep our car maintained so that it was safe to drive, and they let us down in a dangerous way.

What would have happened had we continued to listen to their advice? Would we have continued being hard on the brakes, trying to wear off that rust, until one day we press the pedal and get no response as we slam into whatever is in front of us due to brake failure? What if our daughters had been in the car with us? We could have been hurt, could have hurt others, could have been killed…

There are certain occupations that we must place our trust in for our safety. We trust our police to keep our neighborhoods safe. We trust our doctors to make the right diagnosis to keep us healthy. We trust cooks to prepare and handle food safely to keep us from getting sick. We trust engineers and architects to design safe structures for us to dwell in and travel on.

As a nurse, were I to give the wrong medication to a patient that risked a life-threatening reaction, you can bet I’d have to deal with some serious consequences. I could lose my job or even my license. I could also be sued if I caused harm to that patient. But I know how important my job is, and in that case I’d check and double check to make sure I had the correct medication for the correct patient, because that person’s safety is in my hands.

Mechanics are part of that trusted group as well. If our vehicles aren’t given proper safety inspections, our lives are at risk. We trust those mechanics to properly service our cars and tell us when something is a safety risk.

NTB destroyed our trust last week and I’m still very upset at the risk they exposed my family to through their neglect. Small mistakes are forgiveable, but life-threatening mistakes cannot be brushed aside.

I’ll be blunt: we will never use them again, and I caution others to think twice before you put your car and your safety into their hands. Just because it’s close by and convenient doesn’t mean it’s safe.



Temple Grandin Gives Me Hope

Seems like anytime I send for an old-fashioned DVD from Netflix, it then sits around our house for weeks and weeks before I ever get around to watching it, even if I was so excited to see it. Just another reason why instant streaming always wins in our house.
But I did finally dig the latest DVD out on Saturday night, and I sat down to watch the HBO movie, Temple Grandin. I roughly knew the story – a biopic about the life of a woman with autism who has gone on to do incredible things both in spite of and because of her different mind – and I was interested in learning more about Temple. I thought it might help me understand my own daughter a little bit more and maybe even help me feel more confident about her future. However, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional gut punch that came with the story.

If you have a child with autism, I highly recommend this movie. With tissues.

If you don’t have a child with autism, I also highly recommend this movie. Possibly with tissues.

The first part that brought tears to my eyes was near the beginning, in a flashback scene where her mother remembers when Temple was four years old and diagnosed with autism. Her mother asked how soon they could start treatment to cure her, and the doctor flatly told her that in these cases they recommended institutionalizing the child for life. Her mother’s reaction – one of confusion and horror – reached right out and grabbed my heart.

I’m thankful that research for autism has come so far since 1960. I can’t imagine being told my child would have no chance at a life outside of an institution. But I shared a similar reaction when the school told us they thought Cordy had autism. Oh sure, I put on a pretty brave stiff-upper-lip about the whole thing when it happened, but I can honestly say now that I was so very, very scared. In those first few days I was faced with an entirely different life plan for Cordy, one where I had to wonder if she’d ever be able to go to college, or have friends, or even live on her own. While it was a complete overreaction, for a short time autism felt like a death sentence for all of my hopes and dreams for my beautiful curly-headed firstborn.

Temple, despite being nonverbal at four years old, wasn’t put in an institution. Her mother worked with her daily, brought in others to teach her as well, and she eventually went to school, then to college, then to graduate school, and she now has her PhD. Her family didn’t give up on her, and they didn’t let her give up either. It was interesting to see how her family worked with her through her quirks and needs in high school and college, but at the same time they still insisted that some things must be done, no matter how difficult. I only wish the film had been longer to show more of how Temple was brought out of her shell as a child.

It was also painful to see how others treated and reacted to her. She was bullied, she was called a freak, and she was an easy target for others. I already know Cordy will face an onslaught of bullying in school, and I don’t know how to protect her. Thankfully she often doesn’t notice if someone teases her, but I know that kids don’t like to be ignored and will drive their point home if she misses it, physically if needed. She has such a gentle soul that believes everyone is good – how will I prepare for the day when that soul is crushed by cruelty and she realizes her rigid definition of humanity doesn’t fit?

The second time I cried was at the end, when Temple attended an autism conference and was asked to speak. Just the full realization that this woman – with autism – has led such a successful life overwhelmed me with happiness and hope. Her different way of thinking led her to design cattle pen systems that are considered some of the most humane ever invented, and over half of the feedlots and slaughterhouses in the US now use her designs.

She wouldn’t have been able to do it without being autistic and seeing the world the way she does. She’s published many articles and a few books on her work with animals, and she’s also written about what it’s like to have autism, how she overcame her challenges, and how she embraces her autism as a part of her. She meets nearly every definition of success.

I still have days when I look at Cordy and wonder what her life will be like. She’s come so incredibly far from that three year old who recited entire episodes of Dora but couldn’t carry on a simple conversation. The kid who had a 20 minute meltdown, trying to bash her head into the floor over and over, because her routine had changed, or the room was too loud, or she had touched fingerpaint.
She’s full of life, she’s outspoken (although she tends to talk way too much), and she’s smart. She still has no grasp of sarcasm, takes everything you say literally (never say you want to kill something in front of her), and is still bothered by certain sensory stimuli. Will she continue improving? Will she be successful?
I don’t know if she’ll go on to college, but I plan to do everything I can to get her ready for it if she wants to. Maybe even if she doesn’t want to – after all, Cordy needs a lot of pushing to face her fears and grow. If I didn’t force her to go outside of her comfort zone, she’d still be unable to deal with a loud room and still drinking only out of sippy cups. I feel like the bad guy when I make her do things she doesn’t want to do, but I really believe she has to conquer those fears if she’s going to realize her full potential.
I have yet to read any of Temple Grandin’s books, but I plan to add them to the top of my priority reading list. I want to know more about her experiences and how she felt about her family and teachers and how they challenged her. I want to better understand her in the hopes of better understanding my own daughter, and perhaps get some tips on how to better reach out to Cordy. I’m considering going to see Temple speak when she’s in Indianapolis in April, too.
So yeah, if you get the chance, add Temple Grandin to your Netflix queue or just buy it outright. And don’t wait as long as I did to watch it.

Full disclosure: Just because it needs to be said, no one contacted me asking me to review this film – I just wanted to watch it. Although the links above do contain my Amazon ID, meaning if you click on the link and buy the DVD, I get a few pennies in return.

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