You might think that little Columbus, OH doesn’t have the challenges of the big city. But you’d be wrong. We have our traffic (there’s a reason we nearly named our hockey team the Orange Barrels), we have plenty of crime, and when it comes to early childhood education, we must also rush to find the best programs. (Although most don’t require an interview.)

OK, actually, preschools aren’t that hard to find around here, and in Cordy’s situation, we have a guaranteed preschool for her. But her school follows the district’s calendar, so once June rolls around, we’re on our own to find a good summer program for her.

Summer camp guides are published at the beginning of March, and like many parents of three year olds, I snagged a copy and quickly began circling any program that looked promising. Most are run by private preschools, and are somewhat academic in nature, with a lot of “summer fun” thrown in. After I narrowed it down, I began calling to see if we could get her name on the list for any of these programs. And time after time, I ran into one big problem:

“Is she potty trained?”

Oh, how I hate that question. I always want to respond back with, “Do I ask you about your bathroom habits?”

Cordy isn’t potty trained yet, and shows no signs of planning to master this task anytime soon. We have days when I ask her if she wants to use her potty, and she will. But most other days she responds with, “No thank you, I like my diaper.” And she never has asked to use the potty, either. She watches all of the other kids at school go into the little bathroom stalls and do their business, but she refuses to try.

This isn’t a big deal to me, because I know that eventually she’ll get it. The sensory issues involved with this are tough for her, so while I do encourage her and ask if she wants to use the potty several times a day, I refuse to push the issue and force her.

So finding a summer program has been difficult, because we can never get past that question on the phone. No one wants a three year old who isn’t potty trained, and no one will accept a three year old in their two year old program, where potty training isn’t necessary. (Despite the fact that most are half-day programs, so they wouldn’t need to change a pull-up before I’d be back to get her.)

And then there was this preschool.

One school, who shall remain unnamed but I’ll give you a hint that it is a chain daycare/preschool, asked me that question, and when I said she wasn’t potty trained, they asked, “Well, can you get her trained by summer? Is there any reason she’s resisting potty training?”

“Well,” I began cautiously, “She has some sensory issues…”

I was cut off. “Is she autistic?”

“Yes, but she’s very high functioning. She…”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have the facilities to deal with an autistic child.”

“Uh, what? What kind of facilities would you need?”

“I’m sorry, we can’t accept an autistic child.”

And just like that, the conversation was over. They didn’t have the facilities for my daughter. What did they think they needed? A locked cage? A padded room? A big plastic bubble to make sure her autism didn’t rub off on the other kids?

Thankfully, Cordy’s teacher told me about a small summer program run by the school district. They can’t take everyone, so we have to apply and hope that they see Cordy’s potential lack of summer instruction as a risk of regression. And we have one other program as a possible backup, in case the school district’s program doesn’t accept her.

But now I must wait for the letter telling me where my preschooler will spend her summer. It’s not quite like the NYC preschool rush, but it’s still a little nerve-wracking.