A Mommy Story

(Can’t wait to see the Google search hits after this post!)

With the advent of the internet, we have all sorts of information at our fingertips. Weather, news, e-mail, chat, movie times, research, porn. Wait, did I just say porn? Yes, porn. Because, as we all know, the internet is for porn.

(For those who aren’t daring, I’ll let you know that link is a song from Avenue Q, no worries of porn. For those hoping I was linking to porn – shame on you, this is a mommy blog.)

I’m amazed at the amount of porn available, though. It has to be the largest amount of content on the internet. Even innocent searches in Google can lead to porn: searching for my site brings up several “naughty mommy stories” that I don’t even want to investigate.

Now, this isn’t a post debating if porn is OK or not. I’m going to come right out and say that in my opinion, it’s OK. I know that Aaron looks at porn, and I’m generally OK with that. Hell, sometimes when I’m not up for anything, I’d rather he look at porn than bug me. I’ve even looked at porn before, and probably will again in the future.

I’d guess that porn is viewed in many married households, by one or both partners. Maybe even together. I think most porn is harmless – I’m not going to equate reading erotica with cheating. But some porn elements border on “not OK”. My question is, where is the line drawn?

There’s the very harmless nearly-porn category. This includes semi-nude pictures you’d find in Maxim, Stuff, and the Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs. You can find this nearly anywhere, and there are no “You must be 18 to view this content” buttons to click past.

Next is erotica. No pictures, just stories about sex. To me, this is pretty harmless as well. There is no human element to contend with – the characters are fiction, there are no pictures to match faces to names, and no other people to interact with. As long as the stories don’t involve teenagers (which, since having a daughter, has thoroughly creeped me out), I’m generally OK with erotica.

Nude pictures and video are another step up. There is now a human element – someone has posed for those pictures, or engaged in sex to make the video. Is this OK? To me, it’s still OK. After all, we’ve both viewed porn videos together, and I’m sure he has on his own. Also, I’ll admit that I totally understand why men want to look at naked women: women are just beautiful to look at. The curve of the breasts and hips, the overall softness of the body – it’s far more appealing to view than a naked man. (Sorry guys, it’s true.) And, of course, only consenting adults are OK with us – child pornography or taping someone against their will is just plain wrong. And illegal.

The place where I draw the line is real-time human connection. There are a ton of free and pay webcams out there, where people are willing to do just about anything on them for an audience. There’s also a large community of live web chat – virtual sex. While these are perfectly OK for anyone single, I think these types of porn can be the muddy waters that can land a married person into big trouble. When you’re actually connecting with someone else on the internet for the purposes of turning each other on, you’re forming a relationship with that other person. To me, that’s starting to border on cheating.

Luckily, Aaron and I agree on what’s OK and what’s not, and I don’t see it ever becoming an issue. We know what is safe fantasy, and what’s not.

What about all of you? What are your limits on porn? Where do you draw the line, both for yourself and your partner? I know porn is a sensitive, heated topic for many (and I’m not touching the joke I just thought of after typing that), so I hope we can discuss it without judging anyone else’s responses.

After all, the internet is for porn.