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Jul 16, 2010

Do Not Be Alarmed

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If you’re one of those people who has a sharp eye for detail, you might notice that this little blog has slimmed down slightly, at least where the address is concerned. I decided that after 5 years, it was time to drop the unsightly blogspot from the middle and just be http://www.amommystory.com/.

It fit better on my business cards for BlogHer, too.

Hopefully this transition is seamless, but if there are any hiccups, please let me know. I’m told that any links to old posts or feeds will still automatically redirect to their proper places. I’ll admit I have no idea how it works – I’m impressed that I managed to redirect the domain at all without calling for help.

And hey, maybe this transition to a slightly more professional-looking domain name will result in a slightly more professional blog?

Nah.

Filed Under: BlogHer, mom blogs, random ·


Jul 13, 2010

Full Circle

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It was almost exactly four years ago that our house was robbed. A man living across the street from us watched our house carefully, finding the one day of the week when no one was home for several hours and then broke our back window and helped himself to everything of value.

The new laptop I had purchased just three days prior – intended for my first BlogHer trip – was gone, along with Aaron’s laptop, our game systems and games, the video camera, and several other small electronics. The videos of Cordy’s first steps and silly moments were on the tapes he took with the camera. My engagement ring – set out to be re-sized – was stolen as well.

None of those items were ever recovered, even though we provided the serial numbers for everything. But thanks to my eye for tiny details, I spied a small drop of blood on the curtain, and it was through that speck of DNA evidence that the thief was caught several months later.

However, even being a repeat offender doesn’t guarantee more than a slap on the wrist, and the thief was released on probation, with a restraining order preventing him from coming near us or our house for 5 years. The final part of his sentence was a requirement that he pay us for our insurance deductible.

We never expected to see the money. Truthfully, I didn’t even care about the money. My sense of security had been shattered and I didn’t even feel safe in my own home. We always take precautions of locking doors and windows, but it wasn’t until then that security systems or other additional precautions to protect our home had even crossed my mind. Replacing the items we lost was costly, but the greater cost to me was in trying to replace any comfort I felt while at home.

As the years have passed, the sharp emotions of that day have dulled. Of course, we keep the house locked up and protected more than ever now, but I’m no longer waking up in a panic in the middle of the night, double-checking locks and systems I know are secure. Most of the items that were stolen were replaced.

But this past week, a letter arrived in the mail from the courts addressed to Aaron. I was completely puzzled, wondering if we had done something wrong, like missed a parking ticket or something like that. Instead, I opened the envelope and found a check for the same amount as our insurance deductible, with a receipt stating it was a restitution payment from the thief!

I never expected to see that money. Holding that check gave me just a little more faith in karma and in the system. It added one tiny bit of closure to an otherwise painful memory, and it just happened to show up during a time when we really need it, too. I only hope that the thief has used this past four years to turn his life around, finding a productive manner of contributing to society instead of shattering windows to take treasured belongings – and peace of mind – from others. Or at the very least, that he no longer lives anywhere near us and never comes into our neighborhood again.

Filed Under: daily life, memories · Tagged:


Jul 9, 2010

Losing My Hind

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Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook may know that I started working out again. And while I had a blast with Hot by BlogHer last year, I wanted to create a more year-round space to document my attempts at good health and losing weight. I haven’t said much about it yet because I wasn’t exactly posting much, and was fighting with myself over how much I wanted to share. Truth is, I need to share this kind of stuff – it helps me keep going.

So if you like reading about more than my two adorable children, be sure to check out Losing My Hind. There’s even a juicy new post today about what a head case I am when it comes to physical activity.

Filed Under: clearly insane, healthy living, me me me ·


Jul 9, 2010

Mind Over Matter

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So I’ve been fairly successful so far with the Couch to 5K training program. Each week has been progressively harder, but I’ve managed to glide through most of it with little difficulty. OK, the 3 minute run intervals in week 3 were a little tough, but I recovered quickly and didn’t feel beat up at the end of my run.

But then came week 4.

The plan for week 4 is to run for 3 minutes, walk for 1.5 minutes, then run for 5 minutes, walk for 2.5 minutes, and then repeat all of that one more time. That equals a total run time of 16 minutes. Now, before this week, the total run time was 9 minutes. Adding 7 minutes to the run time seemed like an awfully big jump to me, not to mention running for 5 minutes seems like forever.

From the second I completed the last day of week 3, I agonized over how I was going to handle week 4. I got stuck on this week last year, unable to force my body to comply with a 5 minute run. How in the world was I going to do this without blowing out a lung? Or a spleen?

Today was the big day. And wouldn’t you know it – the hottest day of the year so far. At 8:30am, it was already 79 degrees and muggy. But I refused to back down, putting on my running shoes, grabbing my iPhone and heading for the sidewalk. I was going to do this.

The first 3 minute run was hard, but then again, the first run interval is always hard on me. My knees use that first interval as their attempt to stop me by aching and stiffening up. It’s not until the second interval that a pleasant numbness sets in through my legs and I forget about any knee pain. It felt like 3 minutes were taking forever – I was surprised how far I was traveling. At the end of that interval, I slowed to a walk and caught my breath, glancing down at my iPhone to see how little time I had to recover before starting the first 5 minute run.

I wasn’t ready for the 5 minute run, but started on cue anyway. I focused on my breathing and keeping my pace slow, refusing to look at how much time I had left. After what seemed like forever, I gave in to glance at my iPhone, sure that I was nearly done with this interval. 2:39 remaining! I’m never going to make it! I thought. The sun was beating down on me and I could feel the heat radiating all around me.

Somehow I did make it, slowing to a walk again and gasping for air. The second 3 minute interval wasn’t bad, as I was focused on how I could get through the final interval without passing out on the sidewalk. I could see the headlines: Fat girl collapses while running in small suburban neighborhood during heat wave – health officials respond with “well, duh!”

I started the final 5 minute run determined that nothing was going to stop me. It’s all in your head, I told myself, mind over matter. If I believed I could do it, then I’d do it. But then my breathing pattern got out of whack, and I was gasping for air. My knees started screaming at me again, and a small pain started in my side. I tried to distract myself with anything just to keep plodding along at my slow jogging pace. Look at the trees! Count the houses! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, just keep swimming…

Unable to resist, I looked at my iPhone: 1:45 left to go, and I was out of distractions. At that point I chose a new tactic, mentally yelling at myself, You will not f*cking quit! You will not be a quitter! over and over.

After all, I’ve quit so many things in my life. When something got tough, I just quit. It was easier to drown my depression in a Big Mac than to face my issues. Sitting on the couch watching TV never made me sweat or feel sore. A Snickers bar wouldn’t tease me or call me a nerd. Got humiliated – yet again – by a boy I was crushing on at school? No prob – my friends Ben & Jerry were there to console me. Couldn’t keep up with others in a dance? Fake an injury and quietly excuse myself to the sidelines.

There are a lot of things I’m good at. Most of them involve my brain and not my muscles. Those things require little to no effort, and so I’ve never had to quit them. It’s probably a good thing that I was born smart or I likely would have quit at school as well.

Interpersonal relationships and physical activity, though? The first I’m no good with but continue to try at (with plenty of escapes to food or other comforts to combat anxiety and defeat), and the other I’ve failed at repeatedly. I’m not athletic. I always came in last for every activity during Field Day in elementary school. I tripped over my patrol flag in 5th grade and broke my arm. I never made it on any sports team in high school. I’m best left at a desk by myself with a computer.

But I finished that run. My beautiful and tortured mind won out and got me through to the 5 minute mark, despite the heat, despite my burning lungs, despite the hefty frame I forced my muscles to move. As I walked back home, I felt lightheaded and dizzy, my head just as numb as my body. I knew I should be proud of that moment, and I was, although my mind used its rare moment of triumph to remind me that I barely survived 5 minutes, whereas other people can run hours.

I’m not letting that dark little voice get the best of me. Some part of me awakened today and fought past the negativity generated by a lifetime of being told I’m not good enough and will never be good enough. I don’t want to quit this time.

I ran for 5 minutes straight today. Twice. 16 minutes total.

And I’m going to do it again.

Filed Under: c25k, motivation · Tagged:


Jul 6, 2010

A Tale of Two Girls (and One Dress)

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One advantage of having two daughters? Re-using some of the cutest outfits. And then comparing photos of them in said cute outfits.

Today’s dress? A lovely orange and yellow floral dress bought for Cordy by her Aunt Katie.

Now worn by Mira.

(Why must she always give me the “Are you kidding me?” look when I ask her to smile?)

Age difference – almost a year and a half. Cordy wore it at 19 months and it was nearly too tight. Mira now wears it at 3 years old and it’s nearly too tight.

It’s a size 3.

They’re both Amazons in their own way. And yet again I have another dress that I never want to get rid of.

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Filed Under: Amazons, Cordy, memories, Mira ·