Wait, How Is It September Already?

Back to school is always a busy time of year, but this year seems extra busy for some reason. The changes that have been happening around here in the last two weeks have left me underslept and overworked. I’m running on caffeine and willpower at this point, and I’m nearly out of willpower. I spent all of yesterday convinced it was Thursday only to find it was actually Wednesday, and yes, I really do have to go through the REAL Thursday now.

Let me back up for a minute.

First grade is still going well for Cordy. Amazingly well, in fact. Every note home has been a positive one, with the teachers praising how well she’s adapting to her class. She brought homework with her on Monday and then quickly completed it, only to learn the next day that it was her homework for the entire week. When I asked her to practice her spelling words, she rolled her eyes at me and told me, “these words are too easy!” And then she spelled every one correctly.

The only issue we’re having at the moment is Cordy’s transportation. Her bus route for the ride home has her on the bus for nearly two hours. That’s a mighty long time to be trapped on a bus when you’re six years old. I’ve been appealing to the transportation office for a change to her route, but have so far been ignored.

Mira started preschool this week. She attends a half-day Pre-K class in the morning, and then attends a different half-day preschool class in the afternoon. This is similar to last year’s arrangement, allowing her to get speech therapy from the afternoon class while still getting plenty of academics from her morning class. Mira loves it, as it gives her twice as many people to perform for.

The afternoon preschool didn’t start until yesterday, though, which left me awfully tired on Monday and Tuesday. I had to take her to school, then come home for a few hours of sleep, then go get her again. After a few days of less than four hours of sleep, you can now understand how I thought yesterday was Thursday. I was delirious from sleep deprivation.

And then there’s Aaron. Three years after being laid off, after working several contract jobs that didn’t fit his interests, paid little, and/or weren’t long enough to turn into real jobs, after dealing with the depression that comes from feeling like his job skills were inadequate, he finally got his reward.

On Monday he started his new job – a real, permanent job, that requires a skilled employee, with a salary that isn’t insulting. He now has benefits that we haven’t seen in a long time – paid time off, holidays, and the holy grail of benefits: health insurance. We’re paying quite a bit for it, but it’s a decent health plan and I’m thrilled to have anything that doesn’t exclude every symptom of any illness I’ve experienced in the last thirty-five years.

Even better (to him, at least): he gets to work from home a few days each week.

So…yeah. Busy. The three of them have all of these changes happening and I’m in the center, playing ringmaster to it all and trying to keep everything running smoothly while also working my 42.5 hours each week. (It’s actually more than that, but I don’t bill for hours I spend at home worrying about work.)

My job hasn’t changed much; I still work third shift as a contract RN/manager, and most days I enjoy what I do. If I could change anything about my situation, it would be to have benefits, followed by working daylight hours at some point. Not sure if or when either of those might happen, but I hope for one of them someday.

By next week I should be able to get six hours of sleep on most days again. Maybe I’ll even try to clean the house a little? (Ha.) Or maybe I’ll just sleep even more.

Despite the constant rush of these new routines surrounding me, I’m still very happy for all of the changes. Aaron’s new job, the girls doing well in school, having health insurance again – I’ll willingly trade a little bit of my sanity for all of these things.

But I also wouldn’t mind if the weekdays would speed up and the weekends would slow down. I’d much rather repeat a Saturday than a Thursday.



School’s Out For Summer! Everyone Panic!

The school year was officially over last week, leaving me to explain the concept of summer break to Cordy and Mira. Neither of them really understands why they have to take three months off of school – I assured them that someday they might be more in favor of the idea, and that if I had it my way they’d be in school year-round.

In the meantime, summer camp is often the solution to the “what do I do with these kids when I still have to work?” problem, and both will be attending a day camp for most of the summer. This year we decided to be smart and send them both to the same summer camp, saving us from having to drive all over half of Columbus to take them each to camp every day.

Cordy and Mira will be in different age groups, and will likely not see much of each other during the day. This is a blessing for their teachers – no one wants to listen to those two bicker and tease each other all day. I have no doubt that Mira will march into her summer classroom and take command of it. When she’s not pretending to be shy, she’s a very outgoing little girl – she’s not the kid who cries at drop-off, but rather the one shoving us out the door. I never worry about that kid in new situations. I could drop her off in a biker bar and she’d be running the place by the end of the day, sporting a pretty new spiked collar she convinced some guy named Pitbull to give her.

On the other hand, I’m preparing for a lot of anxiety with Cordy. She’ll be in the older kids class this year, and will be required to do more on her own. For example, in the pre-camp letter, they explained that kids in her class will need to reapply their own sunscreen during the day. Reading that set off red-alarm sounds in my head. Cordy hates having sunscreen put on to begin with – whether it’s lotion or spray, the feel of it is a major sensory trigger. Having to actually touch it with her hands? That might send her over the edge. I’m already preparing an e-mail to the camp director to address these issues upfront so we can find a solution that won’t stress this kid out.

I fully expect it to be a good summer, though. I only wish camp would have started this week. Instead, it seems all camp programs in our area start next week, leaving a one week gap for parents to scramble for back-up babysitting. Or, if you’re me, selling your kids on the idea of a “movie day” where they can watch every Disney movie with bowls of plentiful snacks around them as long as they’re quiet and let mommy get some sleep on the couch after working the previous night.

(Before you call me out as a bad mom, it was just one day, and it wasn’t the most well-thought-out plan when it came to me getting any rest. Aaron took yesterday off so I could sleep, and my mom is keeping them entertained for the next two days. Sadly, I am not a supermom who can stay awake for 48 hours at a time – although it would be an awesome superpower to have.)

I don’t know how other working parents manage the gap. Do they have backup babysitters on speed-dial? Burn precious vacation days to stay home? Call in the extended family? Turn on PBS, leave out some Goldfish crackers and juice and set up a nanny cam to watch them from work? (Kidding on the last one. Think of all the calls you’d have to make to the answering machine when you see the kids getting into things they shouldn’t.)

By the end of this week Cordy and Mira will be begging to go to camp. And we’ll be happy to take them.

And then all will be right with the world again.

At least until August, when camp ends and there will be a two and a half week gap before school starts.

Better start looking for babysitters now.



Night Shift

I am the voice of calm in the middle of the night for many new moms.

When they’re up at 3am with a crying, fussy baby, I’m awake, too. I wait for them to call me, with their questions like Is this normal? and What am I doing wrong? I can hear the frustration and worry in their voices.

I go through my standard series of questions for them, quizzing them as much as they quiz me. Once I feel like I’ve gathered enough information, I give my best educated opinion on the issue. If they need to see their pediatrician, I tell them that upfront. If the situation warrants it, I provide suggestions and tips they may not have thought of. When possible, I share my knowledge with them so that they may be better educated.

The truth is, rarely are they doing something wrong. If anything, these parents who call in the middle of the night are only proving to me that they are dedicated, loving parents, looking for answers to provide comfort to their infants as well as peace of mind for themselves. Babies don’t have instruction manuals, and I’ve yet to meet two infants who are exactly alike. Life with a baby is a series of trial and error, and while that doesn’t always mean making mistakes, it often means having to make several adjustments until the right routine is found. (Wait. I think that applies to life with a child at any age…)

I never talk down to them. I remember being a first-time mom, too, wondering if “colic” was really doctor-speak for “ineffective parent” as I tried anything to soothe my screaming child. Had you talked to me at 3am on one of those long nights as I held my daughter while bouncing on an exercise ball, you might have thought I was out of my mind. The advice I give now is 3 parts nurse, with 1 part experienced mom thrown in for good measure.

Even though I’m no longer in a clinical, hands-on practice, each new caller provides me with a patient, and I give them as much attention and care as I would for someone I was working with in person. I want them to feel confident in their parenting skills, and I genuinely want their infant to be content and healthy.

Some have been kind enough to call back and give me updates on their children, even occasionally thanking me for a tip I provided or a few reassuring words that helped them through the night. I remember those moments when I deal with a difficult parent who doesn’t like the advice I’m giving and instead takes their frustrations out on me.

I sometimes hate the hours I work. It’s hard to stay awake all night and sleep all day, only to turn my schedule around on my two days off so I can spend time with my family. I miss sleeping in the same bed – at the same time – with my husband. It’s not all bad, though. I enjoy the stillness of the night. I like the quiet office. And those middle-of-the-night calls, by weary, sleepless parents, are often some of the most rewarding.

I’m a phone triage night nurse, and if you need me at 3am, I’m here and ready to help.

(This post is totally at the request of nicurnmama, who insisted I write a little bit about my job, even if I can’t go into a lot of detail for privacy reasons.)



Down but Not Out

There are times when everything is going great in my life, and I can’t wait to write out all of the good here on my blog.

Then there are times when I’m frustrated, or something isn’t going the way I’d like, and I turn to this blog to vent or get advice.

And then there are times like the last two weeks, when life hands me a body blow – body blow – uppercut TKO and I’m left sprawled out on the mat faster than you can say Mike Tyson’s Punchout.

Right after Cordy’s birthday, my job went from your normal 8 hour job to a crazy mess. Overtime was strongly encouraged and soon I was only working – sometimes sleeping and sometimes eating – with the rest of my life simply put on hold. I was happy to help out in the situation, because we really needed everyone to give everything they had, but it quickly wore me down.

At the same time, Mira was also in the middle of a strange stomach virus. She had vomited the week before, then went a few days without eating much, then vomited three times in one night. Lather, rinse, and repeat the entire pattern two more times, and we’re left wondering what kind of virus can skip a few days and come back again. It also took away my chances at more sleep, meaning I’ve been extremely underslept for the past two weeks. One night was bad enough that I was sure I was hearing voices and hallucinating.

Then, just because a work crisis and a sick child weren’t enough, I developed the stomach virus as well, although mine was more of the single 48-hour variety. But in that 48 hours I purged everything from my digestive system and developed a strong aversion to food. It took several days for me to gain the ability to eat more than a few bites of food at a time, which was a shame considering my work was provided gorgeous meals for everyone working overtime that I couldn’t enjoy.

Add in a broken water heater, a three year old who cut her own hair on one side only, a headlight out on the car, and one aggressive school nurse threatening to pull Cordy out of school if we didn’t get her vaccinations updated ASAP, and I was starting to think it would be easier to stop trying to get up every time the karma bus ran me over and just lay there instead.

Everything else was in stasis for the week. We used any clothing we could find for the girls because I didn’t have time for laundry, other than laundry that involved puke. Pizza and fast food were regular meals for the family. I would often turn the TV on and nap on the couch when the girls got home from school. And I haven’t ran or exercised in any way since the March of Dimes 5K. Internet? Ha. I barely knew what was going on in the world.

There has been some good in the past two weeks, though. Seeing everyone at work pull together to get the job done has been inspiring. Aaron has a temp job – where I work, actually – helping out with all of the little extras that need done during this crisis. Cordy read every one of her birthday cards this year, impressing everyone with her previously hidden reading talents. And Mira…well…Mira only cut ONE side of her hair. You could call it a fashionable asymmetrical look.

What energy or personality I possessed was ruthlessly drained from me in the past two weeks, and I’m now desperately trying to pull myself back together and refuel my life force with small servings of Facebook, Twitter, cuddling on the couch with my family, and phone calls with friends and family.

Things are slowly going back to normal. Slowly. There is still a lot of overtime expected at work, but I got to sleep 8 hours this weekend. And do a couple loads of laundry. I got to spend more than a couple of hours with my husband and children, when we were all awake and no one was sick. It was short-lived, and I’m back to only sleeping and working, but I know those peaceful moments will be back again soon.

And I’m slowly inching my way back out into being social again.

Hope you haven’t forgotten about me. I’ve been here the entire time, missing my blog, my friends, and my leisure time. Life should get back to normal soon (whatever normal might be), and as it does nothing will get in my way of getting back to what I love.



You Take The Good, You Take The Bad, You Take Them Both and Then You Have…

…a lot of suck if you’re us.

(What? You were expecting Facts of Life?)

As usual, things were going far too well to last. I have a new job I love, Aaron really liked his job, and Cordy was on the list for three different schools we liked for kindergaten.

And then we got word early last week that in our school system’s lottery, Cordy didn’t get into any of the schools we wanted for her. None, including her current one. We were disappointed, but we also felt like we still had options. With both of us working, we could consider private school if we had to.

And then Aaron was told in the middle of the week that the volume of work was looking slow for his company, and while they’d love to keep him, there’s just not enough work to go around, and to consider himself laid off as of May 7. He was devastated. Not only about losing a job, but losing a job he really liked, one he planed to stay with for some time to come.

You could argue at this point that we’re cursed. The thought has crossed my mind from time to time. Or you could point out that disappointment is just a learning experience in life. In which case, I think I’ve now got my Bachelors in Life by now, and I’m really OK with not pursuing the PhD.

I was upset by all the bad news last week. It didn’t seem fair – we were making plans to pay off debt and finally get ahead for once. We were prepared to pay for private school to make sure Cordy could get the best education despite her autism. And now our plans have come to a halt again.

I’m not letting myself dwell in disappointment for too long. I don’t have time for that. Aaron will find another job, and hopefully he will enjoy it as much or more than his previous one. I’m a little worried about being without health insurance (again) – my job is a contract, and we had planned that he would get benefits by the end of May. That plan is no longer valid, so we’ll have to look into private plans, because $1700 for COBRA is, well, outrageous.

As for Cordy, I had a little talk with the school district and she will now be allowed to stay at her current school for next year. I had to pull out her IEP and argue on the basis of consistency to make sure her name was on the list, but it worked. (OK, I feel a little guilty at using her special needs to force a spot, but it’s for her good, so why not let it help us for once?)

And the debt we planned to pay off, the home improvements we planned to save for, etc.? It will all happen on a slower timeline now, or in some cases will be put on hold to wait for better times. I won’t dwell on the negative, because that gets us nowhere. Far better to focus my energy on finding new opportunities and plan for the next time the stars align in our favor again.

The facts of our life? Karma seems to enjoy teasing us, but I’ll continue to smile back in response.

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