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Apr 24, 2007

The Big Secret

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Last week in a doctor’s waiting room:

Woman: Oh, look at you! Not much longer, is it?

Me: Only a few more weeks.

Woman: Boy or girl?

Me: Girl

Woman: So, what will her name be?

Me: We don’t have a name yet.

Woman: Oh, honey, you can tell me.

Me: No, seriously, we don’t have a name picked out yet.

Woman: (laughing and giving me a knowing smile) Oh, I get it. The name is a secret, eh?

Me: (sighing) Yes. Yes, the name is so secret, even my husband and I don’t know it.

********

Seriously, people take it as a personal insult if you won’t tell them your unborn child’s name. I had no idea people listed this among their rights when encountering a pregnant woman. (You know, right up there with touching the belly and asking if it was planned.)

But the truth is we still have no name. Nothing sounds right for this girl. I think we were close to a name a few weeks ago, but then as soon as we told relatives, they started suggesting nicknames that made me cringe, and completely drove me away from the name:

“Miranda? So we’ll have a Randy in the family?”
“Ack! No!”
“What about Randa then? That’s a nice name.”
“No way. Never mind, I’ve changed my mind – we’re not using that name.”

The fastest way to drive me away from a name is to suggest bad nicknames.

So now my nose is buried in baby name books again, looking for anything else that might be a suitable name. I’ve spent so much time staring at lists of names that I think I’m starting to go a little insane. After reading through so many names, my eyes begin to cross, my brain melts a little, and I start to think most names sound pretty good.

Proof? Today I was reading through a list of names that have never been on the SSA’s top 1000 most popular lists and thought to myself, “Lysistrata – now that’s a pretty name you don’t hear very often.” WTF?

Any minute now, the name police will show up and tell me to slowly step away from the baby name book and have a rest before this baby is scarred for life with an unfortunate name.

Filed Under: pregnancy · Tagged: ,


Apr 20, 2007

Growing ‘Em Big

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As we get down to the last few weeks, we are slowly making progress in getting ready for the new baby. This weekend, I’ve managed to snag one day on Aaron’s schedule to put him to use – finding old baby gear in the garage, moving junk out of the spare bedroom to start making a nursery, etc. Clothing has been purchased, yet still needs to be washed. Cordy is refusing to give up her claim to her crib at night, but at least she sleeps in her toddler bed on those rare days she naps.

Best of all, Cordy is starting to grasp the basics about a new baby coming. We’ve tried for months to introduce the idea to her, but she just didn’t get it. However, just yesterday, after telling her half a million times that her baby sister is growing in mommy’s belly, I asked her, “Where is your baby sister?”

And she pointed to my belly.

It’s a start.

My doctor’s appointment was today, and it turns out that the chiropractor visits, the homeopathic medicine, and the last two weeks spent with my ass on the couch and my head on the floor were apparently not a waste of time. The ultrasound showed that she has turned head down!

Of course, it also showed a baby with a gigantic head who refuses to hold still and moves far more than a baby that size should. Which means that just because she’s head down at the moment doesn’t mean she will stay that way. I was instructed that when I go into labor, the first thing I should ask for at the hospital is a position check, since this child is proving that she doesn’t like to stay still.

During the ultrasound, as the doctor was examining her abdomen, we got to witness a full barrel roll. I think we were both completely amazed by this show of determination, and even more so when the doctor used her measurements to estimate the size of this girl.

She’s currently estimated at 6 pounds, 15 ounces. (yes, ultrasounds can be off in weight) Two weeks ago, she was estimated at 19.8 inches long, and I’m sure she’s broken the 20 inch mark by now. Her head is measuring at full term already.

I’ve still got 4 weeks to go. Total weight gain for me as of today: 2 pounds. She’s taking everything I have.

Apparently Aaron and I are breeding a new race of Amazons.

Filed Under: Amazons, pregnancy ·


Apr 6, 2007

Breech

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This morning I had it confirmed that my second daughter is following in her big sister’s footsteps by being turned the wrong way. I think I can say for certain that we won’t be having a third child, simply because I see a tradition starting, and it’s one that I don’t want to continue.

The ultrasound tech found her head right away, well above my belly button, and like her earlier ultrasound months ago, she still has her feet up by her face most of the time. She flexed one leg a few times during the ultrasound, just to give me a kick, but then brought it right back to her head, demonstrating her Cirque du Soleil worthy flexibility.

We also know from this ultrasound that she’s likely to be a big kid. She’s estimated to be 5.5 pounds and 19.8″ long already, and I still have 7 weeks left. The tech asked if there was any way my due date could be off – no, I remember that cycle pretty clearly, and it was a perfect 28 day cycle. Of course, these kinds of estimates can be off by a lot, so I’m not putting a lot of faith in those numbers.

It was noted, however, that there is still plenty of space in there to give this baby a chance to turn. And the tech recommended a chiropractor she had heard of that has amazing success in convincing breech babies to turn head down using something known as the Webster technique. She said she has sent several of her clients to this doctor, and most have had success. That’s a good enough recommendation for me at this point.

I was relieved to get a glimpse at this baby and see that she is healthy and growing well. And that was what I tried to focus on when leaving the ultrasound office, because knowing she’s breech was really disappointing. I had wanted and planned for a natural birth with my first, but for her safety had to choose the c-section route. And now baby #2 is also breech and putting a damper on my hopes for a VBAC. Seriously, a 3% or less chance each time – with my ability to beat the odds, I can’t decide if that means I should try my luck in Vegas or not.

I feel like my body is faulty and I’m unable to carry a baby in the proper position. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution perfected how our babies are carried in our bodies and born, and somehow my body is the throwback. Sure, I probably shouldn’t blame my body, but it’s no less crazy than blaming the baby for not following the plan, or blaming my husband for bad genetics, since he was breech also.

There’s still time, and I’m planning on trying any safe measure to get her turned. At this point I think I’ll start offering her a car when she’s 16, or maybe a pony, if she’d just turn around.

Here are two pictures from the ultrasound today. The uneven area near her mouth on the left is the umbilical cord floating in front of her face.

Hey, how’s it going?

Rubbing her eye
Filed Under: fate laughing at me, pregnancy ·


Apr 3, 2007

Where’d She Go?

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Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession post.

What have I been up to? Well, last week was a busy week for me work-wise, and ended with Aaron leaving on Thursday morning for a trip to a stage combat workshop in Virginia Beach. He didn’t get back until very late last night. Four days, one hyperactive toddler, and one eight-months-pregnant mom who was parenting solo.

You can understand why blogging was not high on my priority list. Most nights I was too exhausted to even fix myself dinner. Single parents – you deserve a medal. While Cordy was thankfully well-behaved most of the weekend, the experience left me begging for Aaron to come home as soon as possible. I learned I’m officially not cut out for parenting solo.

Friday I also went to look at the one daycare in town that supposedly had an opening right away. Turns out, they didn’t – they had one day a week available, not two. But after looking at the place, I decided it wasn’t for us, anyway. They wanted to charge $485 a month for two days a week, and they didn’t even provide meals. You had to pack your own breakfasts and lunches. Plus, if the weather is bad, there is no indoor playroom, and the kids are confined to their classrooms. I also asked about naptime, and they told me if a child doesn’t nap, she has to sit on her cot quietly during nap time. I tried not to laugh at them, but I couldn’t hold back. You want my daughter to sit quietly for an hour and a half? Yeah, right.

Today was my regular OB appointment. Even though I’ve eaten my weight in doughnuts this week, I somehow lost two pounds. So I’m back to my starting weight. I had plenty of reserves to begin with, so my doctor isn’t concerned at all.

However, there was one downside to the appointment today. Somehow, in the past week, this baby has managed to do the one and only thing I didn’t want her to do:

She’s now breech.

Yes, Cordy was breech, which is why I had my c-section. The chances of two breech babies? Well, had I bet on another breech, I’d be rich.

Why must I be cursed with stubborn daughters? This one wasn’t breech last week, because I could feel the kicks up high. But today the hard lump of a head is now up high, while small feet are Irish dancing on my cervix.

I’m 33 weeks today, so there is still time and room for her to turn back. And unlike last time, I refuse to sit by and just hope she’ll turn. I’m breaking out every trick in the book. I will prop my butt up on the couch with my head on the floor twice a day. I will put frozen peas on the top of my stomach and a heating pad on the lower area to convince her my cervix is a better place for her head. If needed, I have found an acupuncture office who performs moxibustion, and I’m looking into chiropractors who are skilled in the Webster technique. I’m determined to get this kid head down, even if it means chanting some silly phrase while wearing a hula skirt and moose antlers.

So, forgive me for my absence here. It was a much needed leave of absence so that I could focus on all the things stressing me out. As penance, I’ll let you in on a secret: click here to go see the current top two baby names we have sort-of agreed on thus far. And next up I’ll be answering a series of interview questions given to me by Mrs. Chicky.

Filed Under: daily life, pregnancy · Tagged:


Mar 11, 2007

Tales From The Backside

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There are many firsts we look forward to in our lives: our first day of school, first kiss, first real-paying job, etc.

First hemorrhoid? Not exactly something to cheer about.

(It gets far worse from here on in, folks. Not Katie Couric “look-at-my-colon” detailed, but still more than some want to know. You’ve been warned.)

Thanks to a combination of pregnancy, a sedentary job, and a minor stomach bug, I developed my very own first hemorrhoid this weekend. How I managed to escape one of these with my first pregnancy, I have no idea. Though I had a c-section with Cordy, I now have a preview of what it will feel like post-birth if I am successful with my VBAC. And I’m scared.

The pain started after the stomach bug on Thursday. By Friday evening, walking and sitting were becoming difficult. Naturally, fate had to pick this weekend to do this to me: Aaron left mid-day Friday for a stage combat workshop, leaving me a single parent all weekend.

I knew something was wrong back there, but I figured it was something that would just go away. Everything I’ve read said that hemorrhoids were common late in pregnancy, and are nothing major. Stopping by the store, I bought some Tucks pads, figuring they would get rid of this little discomfort quickly.

By Saturday, though, the pain was something I couldn’t ignore. I felt like such a wimp – hemorrhoids are supposed to be a little uncomfortable, but nothing to cry over. I was supposed to get together with my friend L, but I doubted I could handle going out for long.

I tried to talk around the issue when I called L, thinking up several reasons why I couldn’t get together, before I finally fessed up to what was going on and told her the entire embarrassing story.

First sign of being in real pain: telling a friend about your backside troubles. A true friend won’t think you’re insane when telling her about your ‘roid. She understood, and agreed that I should not be in so much pain. I decided that maybe I wasn’t such a wuss, and went to an urgent care while L watched Cordy.

Second sign of being in real pain: willing to deal with the embarrassment of letting strangers examine your ass. I was expecting to be laughed out of the office by the doctor, but it turns out coming to the urgent care office was exactly what I needed to do.

Of course, I couldn’t just develop a small one for my first. No, that would be too easy. If we’re going to do something, let’s go all the way, right? According to WebMD, there are four types of hemorrhoids, each more severe than the next. For my first, I went straight to a fourth degree: thrombosed hemorrhoid. You can read the full details at that link, but the summary is it has a blood clot in it, is extremely painful, and in most cases requires medical assistance.

It was then I got to experience the other new pain of having two shots of lidocaine in that delicate area to numb it. At least I got to practice my labor breathing and try visualizing a happy place. You can bet that happy place didn’t involve a doctor staring at my naked butt while putting a needle into it.

After the shots, the pain was gone for awhile, and the entire procedure of removing the clot took less than five minutes. He then put a bandage over it, gave me a prescription for some ointment to help it heal, and sent me on my way.

It took three pharmacies to find one that had the ointment in stock. By that point, the lidocaine had worn off, and walking was damn near impossible. At the third, they told me they didn’t have the generic in stock, so I would have to either pay full price for the name brand or they could call around and find another pharmacy that might have it.

Third sign you’re in real pain: you pay way too much money for a tube of prescription hemorrhoid ointment because you can’t bear the thought of having to go to another pharmacy. At that point I just wanted to get home and lay on the couch.

I arrived home to find Cordy was asleep. L quickly gathered up her son and left me to take a nap also. I was so worn out from the experience, I fell asleep quickly. The doctor had made it sound like I would be pain-free right away, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Today I’m still hurting, but I hope it is getting better. Cordy has been hyperactive all weekend, making it difficult to rest. I’ve at least reached the point where I don’t care about sharing this very personal story with anyone, since I’m telling the entire internet at the moment. If anything, it serves as a lesson to other pregnant women: eat your fiber, drink your water, and stay healthy. Save the real pain for labor and the hemorrhoids you might get from labor, not some stupid pregnancy hemorrhoid before the real fun begins.

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Filed Under: pregnancy, TMI ·