Passing the Time

Since I’m officially past due, I had my first non-stress test yesterday. It confirmed what I already thought: she’s a very healthy baby who is just choosing to take her time. Plenty of fluid in there, good heartrate, so we continue to wait. I have a feeling that I may go past everyone’s predictions from the “Guess the Birthday” game at the Virtual Shower. I think the latest guess was May 25. I guess this baby just likes to prove people wrong – she may beat out every weight guess, too, as she’s estimated to be around nine pounds.

We’ve tried most of the “natural” induction methods out there, aside from castor oil. Sorry, sitting on the toilet all day with strong intestinal cramping just doesn’t sound worth it to start labor. So now we’re moving on to the Murphy’s Law method of induction. We bought advance tickets to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 tonight, and we’re making plans for the weekend.

The theory is that if we make plans to do something fun, the baby will decide it’s time to spoil those plans. It’s similar to a successful tactic used by a friend to get food to show up at a restaurant – as soon as he goes out for a smoke, the food always shows up. If this method works for us, my water will break just as the previews finish and the opening credits begin.

In the meantime, I’ve been tasked with a meme from Kari to reveal eight random facts about myself:

1. My favorite movie of all time is Moulin Rouge. I’ve watched it way too many times and yet never tire of it.

2. I was originally ambidextrous, and wrote better with my left hand, but thanks to pushy kindergarten teachers, I was forced to write with my right hand “for my own good”. I still use my left hand to open jars and do other tasks.

3. In high school, my normal lunch was a Snickers bar and an order of fries, unless it was pizza day. It’s amazing I grew at all.

4. I have a little “lucky troll” in my car that has been with me since I learned to drive. He must always be in my car. His hot pink hair has has faded to white, and the front half of him is burned black from all the sun exposure, but I won’t get rid of him.

5. I was a rennie for nine years. Translation: I was a costumed performer at a renaissance festival for nine years. I met my husband there, too.

6. When I was in Britain for a summer in college, I hitchhiked once. It was in Scotland, just outside Inverness, and I missed my bus going back from a tour of Loch Ness. It was only a 5 mile or so walk back, so I started walking, but was stopped three times and offered a ride. I accepted on the third one – it was a family with a small child, so I felt safe. Turns out even my travel guide said hitchhiking is safe in the Scottish highlands. Nice people.

7. I have a scar just under my lower lip. During the blizzard of ’78, my mom took me into a store and set me down, thinking I had my footing. I didn’t, and fell on my face (big snowsuit – couldn’t move arms), putting my tooth through my lip.

8. I always feel awkward tagging people to do memes. So if you’d like to play, consider yourself tagged!

Thanks, Kari! That helped kill a little time while I continue waiting. (Don’t worry, Kate, I haven’t forgotten your meme tag, either, and will probably get to it tomorrow!) Now I must get back to my other way to pass the time – chasing after a cranky toddler who has taken to calling me “Mr. Mommy.”



Filtered and Non-Filtered Conversation

While in line at the cafe at work today:

Woman: Wow, look at you – you’re ready to pop! When are you due?

Me: Yesterday.

Woman: Oh, that must be awful to be past due! Are you in a lot of pain?

Me: (trying to avoid this conversation) I’m a little sore, but it’s not bad.

Woman: Well, what are you waiting for? Why not cut that baby out and get it over with?

Me: *blink blink*

Possible responses that flash by in my head:

Gee, I’m not so fond of major abdominal surgery.

Yeah, damn that little brat for being one day past the arbitrary date set by a calendar! I’ll show her who’s in charge!

My doctor has advised me not to take advice from idiot strangers with no medical background.

Huh, why didn’t I think of that? Got a knife?

Tried that once – not for me.

It’s a baby, not a tumor to be cut out at will.

Oh, that useless brain in your head must be awful! Why not just cut it out and get it over with?

What I actually say:

Me: (resisting urge to lecture on the complication risks of elective c-sections) She’ll come when she’s ready.

Sometimes I hate that little filter between my brain and mouth, especially when dealing with people who clearly have no filter. I mean, really – who asks something like that?

I think at this point I’d rather wear a shirt that says, “Just awkwardly fat, not pregnant” to avoid these types of conversations.



Due Date, With Nothing Arriving

I wish I could tell you all that I’m in labor, but I’m not. Today is my due date, and I had my weekly meeting with my doctor this morning, but sadly I was given the medical equivalent of being told, “She’s ordering curtains to brighten up the place.” Nothing has changed at all – still 1.5 centimeters dilated, still barely effaced, no real contractions. This kid has no plans to leave anytime soon.

The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile today and said, “Well, at least you haven’t gained any weight! That’s good, right?” I’d like to share her optimism, but I know that while the scale may not show any gain on my part, the baby is still growing. She was estimated at over 7 pounds a month ago. The larger she gets, the harder she will be to get out.

I suppose there’s still time for her to show up today – about 11 hours, to be exact. Starting off life fashionably late may be OK for some, but in our family it isn’t an endearing trait. Aaron can’t tolerate being late for anything, so if she’s late I have a feeling Aaron will greet his new daughter with, “Hi, you’re grounded.”

We did make good progress this weekend in prepping for her arrival. The co-sleeper is assembled and ready to go. She has clean clothing folded in drawers. She has plenty of diapers, all in size 1, of course, since I doubt she’ll need the newborn size at all. Her car seat was washed and sits waiting for an occupant. My hospital bag is mostly packed.

So I must continue to wait for Ms. Stubborn Baby #2 to decide she’s ready. And yeah, still no definite name – or maybe that’s all she’s really waiting on? Maybe she’s some kind of backwards Rumpelstiltskin who won’t appear until we can correctly guess her name?

Edited to add: I wrote about last night’s bedtime adventure with Cordy over at my Family.com blog, Cirque du Mommy. Go there to see how it went.



And A Stroke Is Just A Headache

Actually seen on a labor and childbirth message board:

I’m 38 weeks and just took a Tylenol for a headache, but now I’m worried. What if I go into labor and can’t feel it? Could the Tylenol keep me from knowing if I go into labor?

Now, I’ll admit up front that I’ve never gone through labor, so I don’t have full knowledge of the pain involved. But if a Tylenol can completely mask the pain of labor, then pregnant women everywhere would be screaming out for Tylenol instead of epidurals, and drug dealers would be selling Tylenol dime bags just outside the hospital and OB offices.



A Broken Record

Good god, the only thing I can think of to write about is this pregnancy. It’s like it has swallowed up the rest of my life while I sit and wait for labor to start. I am officially the most boring blogger ever.

Oh, and can I tell you how many calls I’ve had in the past week? You’d think someone had announced I was carrying the reincarnation of Elvis with the number of calls I’ve received asking, “Any baby yet?” Trust me, folks – when the baby gets here, you’ll know. We’re not secretly plotting to hide this new baby away from friends and family until she’s in school.

As for when she’ll make her grand entrance…who knows. No impending signs of labor yet, even after walking for roughly 6 hours at the zoo on Saturday. My doctor thinks she’s waiting until we pick a name for her (yes, still no name), while I think she’s just prissy and waiting for a formal invitation, on parchment paper with calligraphy, to be delivered, requesting her presence outside of my uterus at her earliest convenience.

And then there are the people who aren’t calling to ask if the baby is here yet, but instead telling me, “Just don’t have the baby on Friday. I’m busy then.” Or, “Your grandmother and aunt are out of town this week, so it would be best to wait until next week to go into labor.” Seriously, WTF? You think I can schedule labor? Has it not been made clear that I have no control over this process? Because if so, I would have decided to go into labor as soon as I hit 37 weeks to reduce my chances of having to squeeze out a 10-pound baby.

So I wait. This waiting game is maddening. While there’s no way I want to end up with another c-section, it was kinda nice to know ahead of time when I would be having a baby. And to be honest, I’m feeling pretty good. Sure, I’m tired and sore, but those are minor complaints, and for the most part, I’m still doing my daily routine. My coworkers tell me, “You’re glowing!” but I remind them that it’s 80 degrees outside, so it’s most likely sweat.

Tonight I’m finally going to pack my hospital bag and reassemble the car seat. Maybe that will convince this baby that we’re really ready for her.

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I do still have a toddler, too. (Her antics of late are an entirely different post.) What’s she been up to while I ponder if this baby will be born in May or June? Well, mostly watching a lot of TV. Check out one of our newest DVD finds, Boca Beth, over at Mommy’s Must Haves, and win a copy for yourself.

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